The Deadline Approaches

Well, I’ve actually given myself a deadline to complete my work. I even wrote it out on the calendar, so my family can make sure I get it done. So far I’ve gotten a lot of work done. I guess I just needed to force myself to do it, rather than lounging around and waiting for a time when I was “in the mood,” to do work.

I’m excited to finally get this done.

Until next time,

— R.

Nearing the End

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The other evening it occurred to me that I’m coming close to the end of two of my projects. One is at the point where it could be complete within a couple hours of hard work, and the other is almost ready for its first round of editing.

Although I didn’t meet my original goal, which was to have them complete by the end of May, I did manage to stay true to my word and get them done before the end of the summer.

With all that has been going on since I arrived back from school, I know that I pushed off my work. I made money, I ran back and forth, I packed, I cleaned, I entertained…but in my free time, rather than work on my personal creative projects I instead focused on keeping an eye on my loved ones. I suppose I was more concerned about everyone’s wellbeing and feared that if I slipped into my own worlds, I’d want to escape for days at a time. I’ve done it before. So rather than write or draw, I just made up stories in my head or read books. When I was exhausted I stayed in bed for hours and did nothing but trace the patterns on my blankets while creating stories in my head. For some reason whenever I feel seriously tired, it is harder for me to fall asleep.

Anyway, I thought I would share my excitement with you.

P.S right now its 7:45 am where I live. That means that no one woke me up in the middle of the night because she couldn’t sleep. She had to go back home…which is a little sad, but I got a hug that apparently never, ever, ever, EVER goes away, so I’ll survive until our next visit.

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Image from Ponyo

 

 

Maybe in my next post I’ll be finished my work? We’ll see!

— R.

“What’s it mean when somebodies heart is broken?” – Curly.T

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Trying to explain what it means to have a broken heart to a child is extremely difficult. They think of it like a broken bone, something that you can see and mend…however in reality broken hearts are hidden within us, beneath our outer shells.

Sure, some of us have hearts that aren’t very strong, or don’t work they way they should…but we don’t say our hearts our broken when they’re off beat or they burst out of control. We say they’re under attack.

Until today, I never realized how we view our hearts. When I think of my heart, I think of a vessel pumping in my chest but I also think of the vast emotions that I feel and the memories associated with them. I wonder why our hearts feel as though they clench whenever we’re in pain? Or why they race rapidly when we’re nervous, or why our hearts flutter whenever we’re in love?

I don’t think a broken heart can be properly explained. It is one of those things that you have to feel to actually understand…and for the little girl who asked, I hope she doesn’t feel that sort of pain for a very, very long time…even though it is a necessary feeling that we all need in order to grow.

–R.

She Strikes Again

I knew that approximately thirty minutes after I settled into bed, she’d barge into my room whimpering. After a while, you just know these things.

She never wants to sleep all by herself. Even if you give her every known nightlight in the house, a mountain of stuffed animals and the world’s most comfortable pillows she’ll still insist. She could be out like a light, sleeping through the shouting fans, the blaring television and the gentle hum of the dryer. Still, she would wait until you’re settled into bed, just beginning to shut your eyes and then she would run to your room, begging for you to stay with her until she falls asleep.

Eventually one just gives in to the demands of the ever persistent four year old.

Hopefully I can actually get a decent amount of sleep tonight. We’ll see.

Goodnight/morning again,

— R and Princess Curly Top.

“I don’t want to sleep on my own anymore.”

She woke up and found that she was alone. With sleep in her eyes she crawled out of bed, and made her way towards the dark hallway. Her heart was already racing from that dream, now the hallway was so dark that she could barely see a thing.

Her lips quivered, but she stepped out into the hall. She knew where to go. She twisted the knob and whipped open the door–as she would if it were morning–then made her way towards the bed.

“Ryder, I don’t want to sleep by myself anymore,” she whimpered.

Ryder’s eyes shot open. “Wha?”

The little curly-haired girl pouted.

“Want me to come stay with you?” Ryder asked hoarsely, sitting up.

“Yah….”

So, Ryder got up out of bed and followed her through the dark hallway, and into the room with lots of night lights. Ryder gave the little girl a sleepy grin as she sprawled across the bed, not thinking to leave room for anyone else.

“Well, this is the same little girl who kicked me in the head while she was asleep,” Ryder laughed.

The little girl rolled over, closing her eyes, lettings Ryder lay down.

Ryder tucked the two of them in and the little girl latched onto the blanket, curling into a ball. Ryder looked at the time and sighed. At least work wasn’t until the following evening.

“Ooph!”

Ryder glanced at the little girl and frowned as she threw her legs up, and twisted her body around like a wiggling worm.

“Oh, whatever.”

The little girl’s legs flew up into the air as she tossed and slammed into Ryder’s back. There they stayed as she slept peacefully, her knee in Ryder’s side.

With a gentle sigh Ryder took the giant, fluffy giraffe and used it as a pillow.

“Oh look…aw…hmm…sunlight.”

 


Goodnight/morning.

–From R and Princess Curly-top.

Don’t worry, my back should be fine in time for any potential piggy-back rides.

Admire (Word Prompt)

I admire my sweet friend; I admire the way she carries herself; I admire her looks; I admire her dynamic personality; I admire her calm nature; I admire her sharp mind; I admire the way she talks; I admire the way she sings. Is there someone you admire? What do you admire in them? Daily […]

via Add a line or more No 42 — Success Inspirers’ World

I admire the strength and knowledge that they instill in me each day, through encouragement, love, and occasionally  lectures. Although I like to pretend that I’m strong on my own, with bones of steel and a heart of stone, they see straight through my mask and armour. They tell me that it’s okay to come to them for help when my weight is too heavy. They’re honest with me, even though they know that sometimes ones honesty stings like a fresh paper cut. I admire each of them, my parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my niece. For even though we have our ups and downs, and despite the differences in our ages, our opinions and our positions, we take care of one another. I not only admire my family but I am thankful that I have so many great people to enjoy life with.

–R.

Ash and Pikachu

I found one of my old journals from…gosh I must’ve been 6 or 7 years old. I was a youngster. Anyways, I drew a picture representing Ash and Pikachu’s relationship (back in those days). Aha…kind of strange that everyone is catching Pokémon now.

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Ash and Pikachu by R at age…6 or 7.

I can’t figure out why the picture came out side ways…but as you can see ash is being electrocuted by pikachu. I can’t stop laughing at this picture. Pikachu used to be such a jerk!

 

Letters to Myself

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I just started watching a new show called Orange. It’s under the 2016 Summer Anime list, if anyone is wonder. It got me thinking about this project I did back when I was 16, where we had to write a letter addressed to our past selves. I can remember giving my 13 year old self a huge lecture on how I should have been more out going and less occupied with what others thought about me. At 16, I thought that I knew everything. My parents still say that I think I know everything, and that I enjoy correcting people (mostly my mother). My mom thinks I’m egotistical due to the fact that I’m a musician. I couldn’t deny it because there are days when I spend hours just looking at myself…and I do take a lot of selfies (I don’t share them anywhere).

To be honest I think what happened was, after being a moody 13 year old with a low self-esteem, I went to high school and decided I no longer cared if I wasn’t with the in-crowd. As you can see, I’m no longer ashamed to admit that I watch anime. One of my closest childhood friends from when I was 3 or 4 was from Japan, and so they used to buy me animes on VHS. No I don’t call myself an otaku. Yes I also read manga, but I enjoy comics in general (Archie anyone? Gotta love Jughead). So basically, to get back on topic, I realized that just because my hobbies have always consisted of writing, watching anime and music didn’t mean that I had to hide it from people. I figured, if people liked me for who I was then that was great. It was stupid trying to lie about what shows I watched and what sports I liked when I wasn’t really into any of that. While all my friends played football (American), I was more interested in pretending I was a Jedi knight…or petting the stray cat that liked to visit us at recess.

So I suppose my 16 year old self had a reason to be so harsh towards my 13 year old self. The thing is, looking back now, being 13 and 16 was equally stressful and I went through experiences that…well at the time made me feel like the sky was falling. Now that I’m considered an adult (who drinks mountain dew instead of beer and uses a starwars cup while using the worlds best Spiderman bookmark), I think I can say that I’ve realized that each part of my life is a new challenge. It seems hard at the time but once I get over it, it feels like it was a breeze.

From my first time being extremely jealous to my first date. My first experience with death to my first time holding a new baby. From bad grades to bulking down. From writing an entire novel without chapters or page numbers to becoming more organized and actually planning things out. The big and the small, all molded me into the somewhat adult I am today…although all the 16 year olds I work with think I’m the same age.

So, I’m not sure what I would say to myself at ages 13 or 16…or even to myself ten years from now when I’m 30. Wow…I’ll be 30 some day. Hopefully I have my life in order by then. To be honest I feel like I got myself where I need to be now. I try not to lie awake at night regretting the decisions I’ve made in the past. I try not to ponder the future too much either these days. Kind of makes me feel a little down…knowing that certain people won’t be with me anymore. All I can do is keep going forward. If YOLO taught me anything in high school it was that I should spend more time laughing and less time fighting. I should make time for friends and family. I should go into a career that I know I will love and will give me the most fulfilment. I shouldn’t jump the gun on decisions, and I shouldn’t put them off too long either. I shouldn’t think too much, and I should know when to take the time to think. I should step outside of my comfort zone, and I shouldn’t be afraid to stand my ground. If this were a letter to my past self or the person I’ll be when I’m 30…I’d probably say “You’re doing great. Just remember right now is a challenge but once you get over this hill, you’ll find the next will be a little easier to climb.”

— R