Almost Finished with my Essays

I’ve had so many essays to do recently I’m not really sure how I was able to write them all. I’m just hoping that I did well. I really wish that more of my professors had given the option to do some sort of creative option. I excel at those types of assignments. It is also easier for me just…with the way that I learn, to physically do something and explain what it is I am trying to prove versus just sitting down and writing out an essay. I might be a writer, but I’m a creative writer. I write fictions of all sorts and when it comes to doing things such as writing essays, I get comments like, “Great style. Not so great structure” which seriously annoys me. It is more annoying when one professor wants you to write a certain way and another says the complete opposite. Thankfully it is December now and I’ve figured out what style appeals to which audience. I even spent time working on my structure, so hopefully I don’t get marks deducted for that again. I must’ve edited them all at least three times, and ask one other person to look them over. I’m sure they’re alright. Plus I was actually interested in the topics this time. Which is rare…usually only my one professor offers an interesting range of topics and also creative components, which he gives me 100% on. Well…I got an 83% on the last one but I was going through a rough time, and still grieving then, so I accidentally handed in the rough draft of my write-up along with the images I created. When I got it back I was pretty surprised. I couldn’t believe I handed that in…still all he said was, “You write up wasn’t very organized but I liked how you connected your choices back to your own life etc…” so I got lots of marks because of what I had said…despite how terribly formatted it was.

This round I made sure to double-check that I was sending in everything correctly. I do not want to go through that again.

Anyway, I thought I’d blog a little while having my breakfast and waiting for my laundry to finish. I can’t wait until my exams are over, because then I get to edit my novel and prepare it for print. I’m most likely going to be doing some cover designs in the meantime…so I have studying to do near the end of this week. Especially since I didn’t read all the books on the syllabus. Thank God my full year courses don’t have exams until April. All of mine are practically back to back. Thankfully none are overlapping like last time…that was too much.

Happy Birthday Gummy Bear!

So, today is my nieces 5th birthday!

Happy birthday little girl. Keep being you, cause you’re awesome as you are.

And just for you, I’m going to share the song we sing together.

Presenting, the Gummy Bear song, which my niece likes to sing while pretending she is a DJ.

Love you. Hope you like your present.🙂


My mom nicknamed us all after candies, and so we call my niece Gummy Bear, and this is a song my little sister and I used to sing when we were little kids, so we brought it back…and boy does it annoy my folks when the three of us sing this over and over and over during car rides.

–R.

School…Stuff…Woo…

freakingout

There are many nights where I’m sitting around trying to finish and assignment…and then the blasted word count gets me. Honestly, there is only so much a person can say about the symbolism of a particular object within a text. I just want to slam my face down into the mattress and let this bed swallow me whole.

The End: Novel Update

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November 29th, 2013 I began writing this novel. At the time I had been taking a break from writing, as I’d been going through serious writers block. Then I came up with an entirely new story, that was begging to be written. Today, November 29th, 2016 I completed this novel…and after working on it for the last three years I don’t know what to do with myself.

I mean, it is broken up into three books, so I can begin working on part two but…whoa. Three years of my life. I wonder how much my writing style has changed between the first and last paragraphs. I wrote two-hundred and forty pages. Well then. That’s neat.

I don’t know how to react right now. I randomly started tearing up, and now I feel like running around and shouting to the heavens, “I did it! I finished!”

To think I’d had serious writers block before starting this novel. It was at the beginning of the 9th grade, and I’d written six books in a series. I was trying to edit them all…and I’d realized that there were too many loose ends and a lot of things that needed work. While I was editing them, I kept trying to start other novels and I’d write a couple of chapters and then give up. It was horrible. Then I fell in love with the idea of this novel, simply because of an image from a dream I had. The novel haunted me. I tried to push it out of my head but it needed to be written. Now it is finally finished…whoa. This is so weird.

I have such mixed feelings right now. I managed to reach my goal. I just thought it would be cool to finish on the same day that I’d started, I guess determination is really…important. Now I feel like I can accomplish anything. I’m going to begin editing this as soon as all of my essays are done. This is so awesome.

 

Whoa…I feel like I’m all over the place right now. I just read a bit of the first page and I was like “Wow…my writing has gotten a lot better. Thank you creative writing courses.” This is just too much for me to take in right now.

Especially since I was having such a hard time earlier this year and over the summer. I’d felt as though I’d barely had any time to write this year but I still managed to reach my goal.

For those of you still working away at your novels, keep going. Even if it takes you three or four years to complete a work, the feeling when you’ve finished…I can’t explain it but it is wonderful. I haven’t felt like this since the day I finished writing my first book.

This is just awesome. Okay…goodbye for now.

–R.

Then Silence

From within the shrill scream there was silence.

Silence pulled the trigger—

Bam!

Shot dead, straight into the head—

And was there in the end.

Still shrieking in darkness,

Blood bubbling but never reaching,

The thoughts ceased and the body released,

And the legs trembled,

And there were violent gasps for breath.

“Air! I need air!”

In a whirl of emotion,

Where there is no place to grasp.

No safety.

Only screaming,

Then silence.


O. Ryder.

Nov. 27th, 2016.

Reactions to My Old Writing

Once Upon a Time

I always feel really happy when people react to my poems. Especially my much older ones from when I was around 16. I still get responses from people telling me what they think and its great.

I haven’t posted anything on that website in a long time, mainly because I started this blog and didn’t want my work to be under two different names. It was mainly in case someone claimed I was stealing somebody else’s work, when in actuality I’d just been writing under a different name. That could have become problematic. I have some friends on that website who would rip someone apart on my behalf simply because they know I try hard not to get involved in any sort of drama. They’d do it behind my back too without saying a word because they know I’d protest. At least I know they have my back.

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Yah, I like that even three, four years later people are still finding my poems and responding to them. It makes me happy and also makes me realize that what I consider to be my “bad” writing has had an effect on people. Like…I’m sitting there going “I rhymed a word with the same word…why? WHY!?” but they’re like “Wow this really touched me. Thank you for sharing.”

Try not to think that because your writing is older that it isn’t any good, or worth looking at. It can help you grow. It shows the techniques you’d been using before, and you can compare it with how you are writing currently. For example, I used to try and use a lot of description, now I like to use a lot of dialogue. When I read my older work, I’m actually impressed with the way I described things but also annoyed at how detailed it is. I wrote something like,

“The bricks of the wall were a mustard yellow colour. The charcoal pavement looked strange up against the yellow bricks.”

I’d look a lot like this:

zonedout

Yah…a thirteen year olds writing versus a twenty year olds. Same person…very different writer. I’ve never actually disliked my writing style. I’ve always been good with dialogue…but like man those descriptions were just sad. They were sad. I don’t know how else to describe them. They did nothing for the passages. They had no purpose. I just always felt like I wasn’t writing enough. Now I’m like “Okay end of chapter. Onto the next!” without questioning myself.

I would encourage everyone to go and look at their older work. Even comparing what genres you used to write is hilarious. I used to pretty much write the same two stories over and over again when I was little until around the 7th grade. Scenario, there is a kid (or group of kids) and they save an animal…or multiple. That’s the story. Some times it was talking animals saving other animals. I was one of those little kids that really liked animals. Yep…now I write about people. And I don’t use the same names over and over again. Like Jordan and Karen and Mac and Emily.

Mac and Emily are very, very famous characters of mine. They have three books and two were bound by my teacher in gr. 4. There are even pictures. And yes…they save the animals from bad guys who are trying to ship the animals off to another country to sell them.

Karen and Jordan also saved the animals from a ship that was trying to sell them to another country.

I wrote them in the same grade. Don’t judge. I wish I had them here with me, because I’d scan a page to show you what I mean.

And there was that story about the baby owl that lost its family and was raised by a human. I wrote that for my brothers birthday when I was maybe in first grade? I used to steal a needle and thread from my moms sewing kit and sew the pages together.

…I wrote so many stories as a kid how did my parents suddenly think I was a weirdo when I wrote six novels at 13? Guess its because I carried my notebooks everywhere and fell asleep with them in bed aha…yah. Good times. Don’t recommend sleeping on a binder. It’s cold and uncomfortable. Also you risk ripping pages.

This is longer than I expected it to be.

I have work to do including chores so I’d better go.

— R.

Morning Exercise

METADATA-START

Good morning, for some reason I’m up a lot earlier than expected…but I usually don’t sleep for very long. I should try harder to resist afternoon naps. They completely through off my schedule, and make me feel as though I’ve wasted my day…much like sleeping in.

I’m going to do a bit of light exercise this morning, since I’ve been slacking in that department lately. Then I’ll do some work on my novel and of course homework that I’ve put off far too long. I at least need to get some ideas down on paper. My schedule’s been pretty busy this weekend. I’ve had events since Friday evening, and after today it will be the end of that. I’m expecting it to go well today. Friday was…stressful.

I’m still trying to convince my younger sister to create a blog on wordpress.com for her art. She’s two won awards in the graphic narrative section of a yearly literary competition that is held for students in our hometown. She is her own worst critic however, so I believe this is what’s taking her so long.

I understand though. When it comes to my writing I am often reluctant to share it with my family and friends because I’m worried they’re judge me. Especially when it comes to my lyrics and poetry. A lot of the time my poems and songs are centered around characters I’ve created for stories I’m working on, so the themes behind them have a huge contrast. My creative writing professor last year was surprised when I shared a happy story that used warm imagery because all of my other work that I’d presented in class had a tendency to be very cold and depressing.

Speaking of cold, I think I’ll do my exercise in doors today. Burr…I’m shivering as it is. I like winter time but I don’t wanna be in the cold long if I don’t have too. I really love getting in a good work out early in the morning. Helps to lose all the stress from the day before. I always feel really pumped afterwards.

Until next time,

–R.

Wrapping Things Up and it Ain’t Even Christmas

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Woo! Update!

So, the other day I managed to conclude a very climatic scene within my novel. I haven’t actually reached the official climax point, but in another chapter or two I should be there. I’m so happy that I’ve managed to keep up with my goal as well as get one out of five essays done (the one due for this week). One thing at a time.

Unfortunately due to events I haven’t been able to work on my other novel, which is sort of something I’m doing on the side. I’ll probably work on it more once I’ve finished this one. The thing is though, that for that novel I get my best inspiration around October, as that’s the month in which the majority of the novel takes place.

The novel I’m currently writing takes place in the winter time, so this is perfect. Also, I expect it to be slightly longer than the other, simply because I is more of a…series I suppose. The first book in the series is almost complete, but there are more to come. I’m just keeping it all in one place to make my life easier.

Since I’ll be on winter break after exams, I might also gain some inspiration for other books I’ve been itching to work on. Seriously, I have binders and files filled with things I have to write…even just random pieces of paper scattered between my apartment and my parents place. All of this is stuff that I’ve collected from God knows when…but probably since the 6th grade, since that’s when I was writing films, plays and television skits. I’m one of those people who gets a lot of ideas…I spend most of my time up in my head than I do in the present, but I don’t believe its effected me negatively, since the result of that all of these stories, drawings and other things that I do.

Now if only I could work out as often as I write. I’d be a tank. Oh well, baby steps. I think I’ve lost a bit of weight.

I’m extremely hungry right now, so I’m going to go. I haven’t had anything to eat all day. I’ve been busy…I know not healthy. Same thing happened yesterday. Didn’t eat till 4pm. Bad plan.

Till next time,

–R.

Listed on the Syllabus

Essays, reports, labs, presentations…all of them piling up right before the final exams (or in some cases midterms…if you’re lucky). All of these things popping up outta no where!

“They’re listed right here on the syllabus.”

“Where?”

“Page two. Here, where it says, ‘November such-and-such, Assignment Due.'”

“Aw…yah…I see it now. Yah…it’s there. It didn’t just magically appear outta thin air. But I didn’t get the outline for the assignment till last week. I barely had any time.”

“You had time to go and grab poutine.”

“Yah but–”

“And you had time to see Doctor Strange.”

“Yah but–”

“And you had time to order a pizza and play video games until midnight.”

“Yah but I–”

“You have no excuse. You just procrastinated. You put it off too long. And now, you’re stressed out.”

“Wish we could turn back tiiiiiiime…to the good old daaaaays…”

“Shut up! No singing! Sit you butt down and do your work!”

“But I’m hungry.”

“Yah…me too. Let’s go get food.”

“But…I have to do my assignment.”

“Eh…you’ve got till Thursday. There’s plenty of time!”

“It’s Tuesday….”

“Just…pull an all-nighter.”

“Last time I did that…I didn’t do so well on my assignment.”

“Do you sit around and complain all day? Jeez, I’m leaving.”

“Okay bye….”


The line, “Wish we could turn back time to the good old days,” is from Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots.

Anyway, this dialogue just sort of happened all on its own. Hope it made you chuckle a little. I have a habit of inserting song lyrics into actual conversations I have with my siblings…and myself. Since this dialogue is me talking to myself. Happens a lot…yet, why question my sanity?