Thanks for Being So Patient

I’ve been trying to draw these images for days…I’m getting a little frustrated because I can see them in my head but then when I illustrate them they come out looking opposite of what I want.

Hopefully I can get a few decent images…I’m almost thinking that if I draw them in pen or marker off the bat then I won’t be so picky.

Thank you for being patient. I’m doing the best I can.

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55 thoughts on “Thanks for Being So Patient

  1. Is this frustration a new experience for you? Are you a seasoned writer but not a seasoned artist? I see you say you are a young writer…already published or still aspiring?

    Are you a perfectionist like me (when you say “picky”)? I’ve tried drawing right away with pen and marker. I can do decent sketches with a pen. I can make some shaky caricatures with a Sharpie marker. But, I still haven’t found the confidence to draw without a good pencil (4B) first and plenty of white eraser. πŸ˜€ I too know the grief of not being able to produce the images in my head to satisfaction. I have picked up a book on trying to draw with the other side of the brain; I am to give that a try sooner or later. Knowing me, later. πŸ˜›

    Who is impatient?

    • It’s new. I’ve just been so busy with my job that when I do have the time to work on my images, it feel as though I’m rushing to finish them. I think that’s why they haven’t been turning out how I’d have hoped. I’m still trying. I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my own work…mainly my writing over my drawing though. I tend to edit things a dozen times before actually showing them to anyone. That’s why I’ve been forcing myself not to read over any of my work until it’s finished. That way I’ll be forced to edit it all at once, rather than break it apart. Whenever I edit and write at the same time it screws up the entire novel.

      • Are you rushing because you have a deadline given to you? Or, do you feel the need to rush because you don’t like how much time is passing without getting them done? There is a difference.

        I am soooo sick of my perfectionism. But, I suppose, if some of us were not perfectionists, or if we all didn’t have some measure of perfectionism, we would not strive to improve our “aim.” If an archer rests his bow simply because he has mastered the bull’s eye contests, what becomes of him/her? Why not find a new target?

        Me, too. Well, I haven’t shown much of my writing to anyone, yet. And, what I have shared doesn’t seem to accomplish much other than a few people I don’t know as well giving praises without detail. My family seems afraid to read my work. Yet, I will and have looked at just about everything they do. I have a bad habit of critiquing their work, though, and they don’t like to be critiqued. Strangely, I am divided with my own work. I want their critique because it shows they really looked into my work…but I also share their sensitivity to being criticized…just not as strongly. But, I trust my family with my work more than I do someone I don’t meet with regularly.

        I’ve edited my first book at least 20 times in the past 3 yrs. I keep finding spots to improve or change my feeling about what I wrote. Sometimes I question what I was thinking and how people might perceive what I wrote. I periodically get worried about acquiring a bad reputation.

        Maybe. Yet, to edit an entire novel (of more than 200 pgs.)?…that is a task in itself. I would still think it wiser to edit by chapter or some other division. I am still struggling with a four-part novel series of mine… And, I have not finished the story I started back in 1994. The strange thing about that one is how psychic I was…

      • I started writing my first novel back when I was in the 7th grade. I made around 50 rewrites on the first book and it’s apart of a six part series…so I get what you’re saying. I actually put that series on hold. I may come back to it, I may not. I decided in the 10th grade that I should move on and start working on one of my other novel ideas. My dad told me that instead of editing my own work I should have my sister read it instead. That way I would waste so much time trying to improve it. There is always room for improvement but there is also a point where we need to realize when to put things aside and make room for new things. My problem isn’t deadlines really, it’s simply that I wanted to get a lot of things done this summer and I barely got any of it done. I’m even behind on my blogging. I think the best thing for me to do is to create a task calendar. It works for when I have to get assignments done for school. I suppose it could help with my writing too. I’m glad that you’ve shared your experience with me! It’s extremely frustrating when you want things to be done perfectly and yet when you finish them you still see room for improvement.

      • Can you trust your sister with editing your work? I would prefer to sit down and discuss things point by point with whoever edits. I don’t trust anyone to just edit on their own. Not my work, anyway. And, I’ve seen my share of sloppy editors.

        A six-part series is what you started with? My original novel idea started out as more of a singular screen play. But, the more I played with it, the more I wanted to expand and divide it into parts, as well. I suppose trying to tackle a mountain without conquering the first cliff is too much to take on. [Another way of saying “take baby steps” or “break up the big goal into smaller ones.”]

        Bah! Behind on blogging? What is that? Again, if it’s not putting money in the bank, isn’t it just a hobby? You can’t fall behind on a hobby. It’s there to ease your spirit and mind whenever you need it. But, if we get stressed out because we don’t get more time… Well, I will say this. At my last job, I was unable to do anything creative for some time. And, THAT got on my nerves. But, if I had a better balance in life, I would not have gotten upset.

        Go ahead and try a calendar. But, like New Year’s resolutions, if you don’t stick with it, you may just hate yourself more.

        I think us writers/creative types could benefit from more personal exchanges like this. More time spent discussing frustrations will surely help clear away the cobwebs.

        Wouldn’t it be lovely to have a room you could paint forever or a sculpture you could shave down forever (like some trim bonsai trees)? Whenever you feel like doodling or changing something, you could go in that room and add it to a wall.

      • I’ve actually dreamed of having a room like that in my future house. I’d love it if I could paint on the walls and make something that expresses how I feel. Thank God I have my music for that until then. Without my music I think I would explode. I write songs in my head constantly and if I like them, I jot them down. I’m currently my sisters editor and what we do is exactly what you described, we sit down and discuss everything she has in parts. We work on a bit at a time until we both find something that is satisfying for not only ourselves but also for the “audience” she’s targeting. I put audience in brackets because honestly, we write for ourselves a lot of the time and that’s what seems to work. My sisters won some awards for her work already. She’s a comic book artist. I’m her number one fan! She deals with similar frustrations when it comes to her work, however for her it is more of the set up of her stories and the editing. That’s what I help her with…because that’s how I edit with her, I expect her to edit the same way with me. She’s honest with me about everything, especially my work so I know that she would make the best “first draft” editor. I’ve considered getting someone else for later edits but for now my sister is my go to person. My parents would also work, however my mother only reads non-fiction and my father has never been much of a reader. I used to have a lot of writer friends in high school but now I find some people are a bit shy when it comes to telling others that they’re creative writers. I haven’t met any in university… it’s quite sad actually. I was invited into my schools creative writing club though. I couldn’t attend the meetings last year because it was so far from the campus, but I think I’m going to attend this year so that I can get the support and motivation that comes from being around others who share your passion.

      • A comic book artist? I am slightly infatuated.

        I suppose, then, you two are a good editing team. Though, you are writing actual books/stories, and she is putting together visual stories with minimal text.

        As for your parents, gosh, that sounds familiar. My mother wouldn’t know what to do with my stories…nor would my father who, like yours, reads only when prodded by his wife.

        I’ve never had many friends…especially creative ones. I think my perfectionism has gotten in the way. I find it hard to imagine such a group. And, when I do, I want to cry because I have yet to make it a reality. Just as I dream of making movies or video games.

      • I think that writing groups are fun however I rarely bring any of my material. I prefer to do writing workshop exercises because then I have something fresh to share and I can learn something new. I’d rather not have someone I barely know, or trust reading my work. I’ve had friends of mine who have asked other people to read their work and give feedback…and those people were not at all encouraging. They didn’t even try to say anything constructive. Their comments were ridiculous and discouraging and sadly I feel it was because they to were writers and they didn’t wish to see others excel in the same field. It’s people like that, that discourage me from allowing others to read my work.

      • I suppose doing fresh material might be a nice throwback to art classes I left behind. But, would I really do anything with what I wrote there? Maybe. Or, maybe it would just be a dusty blog that remained un-polished and un-published. I imagine I would prefer getting down to serious business and working out what I really want to complete, first. I guess I like your idea…but mine as well…so I am torn. I am Natalie Imbruglia.

        Sometimes the person you barely know can surprise you. I would say go with your gut. If the “stranger” does or says anything to raise a red flag, keep away from that one. But, if they seem to press all the right buttons and are willing to sit down with you without sounding arrogant or insincere, give ’em a try. Just don’t let a “stranger” take a copy with them (yet).

        Well, I would have to see the comments. But, I think some people receive constructive comments as negatives simply because what was said didn’t offer any praise. A comment like: “Your work stinks.” would be a lousy negative, sure. But, if the person said, “I see lots of areas that need improvement,” that’s not so bad as it is vague. The next step would be to say, “What areas? Can we discuss them?”

        I was horribly discouraged from going to art school by one lousy tour. I may have been so overwhelmed by some things that I exaggerated the comments I received on my portfolio. But, in that moment, I was furious and devastated by what I saw and heard.

        Yes, I suppose some “pompous” writers might treat competition that way because they feel the air of success is getting thin. I’ve heard actors may do the same. I think it’s just one of the emotional tides of life that deals with that basic concept of have and have not. No, it’s mine! I want it all! You can’t have some.

      • Well with my friend I remember the girl who had read over her work simply made comments about the characters. I read the same story and I thought the character’s were brilliant but the girl who had read it complained that because my friend’s character was Asian they shouldn’t have white hair and red eyes and that their name shouldn’t sound “white.” That sort of feedback wasn’t at all helpful to her. The girl just mocked her characters and ideas. The girl herself was writing a novel…but I read a bit of it and honestly, I wasn’t a fan of her characters. I wasn’t a fan because I found their personalities were very flat. I didn’t tell her this because I figured if she thought my friends amazingly 3dimensional character’s were bad because they weren’t “believable enough” then she probably wouldn’t understand why I was saying her characters didn’t have enough depth.
        I sadly made the mistake of having someone else take my work home with them back when I was 14. I regretted it afterwards and my parents were extremely upset with me. I ended up giving up on that series. I may go back to it one day…but for now I’ll continue to do what I’m doing. I’m happy with what I’m working on right now. I made a lot of progress today and I felt…joy while I was writing. I can always tell when a scene is good because I get emotionally involved. I actually laughed while my character’s were laughing and got a bit choked up when something touching happened…okay to be honest, I did cry. I’ll admit it. I’ve never had a scene like that before but I think it was nice because my heart was in it. I don’t like to give up on things…but with that old series of mine…it had to be done. I spent years on it and now I’m getting a lot of other things done and I’m having a great time doing it!

      • Did you disapprove the bitter girl’s book before or after you were hurt by her critique of a friend’s? If after, your opinion was skewed by your temper.

        The one who didn’t like an Asian character with white hair and red eyes was just expressing her opinion of what she didn’t like. How she said it could have been better. But, it had a strong negative impact on her appreciation of the story. I have had moments when I dislike characters like that. I’ve read 20 books in a mystery series with a detective who has a lousy name. And, many of the witnesses have lousy names. But, I put up with it.

        Sounds like you’ve been very wordy all your life! So many series! I remember wanting to make comic books and only completing a few pages before moving onto another…or just the covers.

        I gave my first books to my dad’s sister because she was the only one who wanted them so badly. But, after I gave her a few, I started to keep them for myself. Unfortunately, my mother threw out a few.

      • I disapproved beforehand. It was the same girl actually. I just found that she gave negative feedback to everyone…whether it was on their writer or even during school presentations. It wasn’t even constructive half of the time. I think that she probably felt it was her duty to be the one to give negative feedback…however she did it in a way that just seemed…well rude. She’s always been rude in general. I don’t dislike her. We had many mutual friends, however I wasn’t able to connect with her because I just found her to be very unnecessarily rude to others and what I didn’t like was that she knew she was being rude, Both she and I had read my friends novel. She was simply saying that the characters descriptions and the setting made no sense to her. However everyone else who read the book was shocked that she didn’t like it because we all thought it was exciting, fun and very creative. My feedback to my friend was that she needed to stop naming her character’s Jack lol…but it’s her favourite name. Another one of my friends names all of their lead characters after themselves. Which again…I don’t really get it but if that’s your thing then it’s your thing. I’m someone who strongly believes that a characters name should be representative of who they are. That’s why I’ve spent years collecting lists of names that I like and what their meanings are.

      • I don’t see how someone so despicable can have mutual friends with you.

        I have a tendency of naming certain characters the same name(s), too. πŸ™‚ You’ll see many A and J names in my stories.

        People who name characters after themselves, I think, have an identity “hitch.” As if they can’t be creative enough to use a different name. You see actors do the same when they act in TV or movies; they play parts with their name. Like Cherie (or Cherry?) Johnson on Punky Brewster played Cherie/Cherry.

      • I hate when actors play characters with the same names. Like on the show Drake and Josh. It’s obvious they wrote the roles for them I guess…but it’s still slightly irritating. Well some of the mutual friends that we had, I no longer talk to them now that we’re done high school. We didn’t have enough in common in the first place I guess.

      • I think it’s refreshing to play a character with your real name. I think, maybe, it’s that actor or actress’ way of saying, “I can’t play anyone other than who I am.” Versus other actors who seem to play one type of character in EEEEVERYTHING and cannot get away from that…yet they are always a new name. Like Adam Sandler, Jack Black and Ben Stiller. Those guys, particularly, have a hard time stepping out of the same shoes. You could say it’s just as irritating to waste character names on such actors.

      • I agree! I feel sorry for actors that are dragged into that box of “one role.” They may have extreme talent else where and yet people actually get angry when they see them in something that doesn’t suit their “usual character.” You’re exactly right in saying that it’s a waste of names. Both situations bother me when I think about it. I think that’s why Shia Labeouf decided to stop doing the Transformers films. He said that he didn’t want to be known forever as Sam Witwicky (I have no idea of how to spell his last name). I realized with those films though, that Shia played a guy named Sam and Megan Fox played a girl name Mikaela. I find that slightly annoying in films and television as well, unless of course it’s a comedy sketch. However with movies it tells me that they picked the actors potentially before the script was even written, and it also tells me that these actors were also most likely chose for their popularity and or looks (especially in the Transformer’s films) and not based on their ability to act. I’m glad both Megan and Shia left the films because honestly…the characters did nothing for their careers. Megan was the hot girl and Shia was that nerdy kid who gets the girl. Roles they’ve both played in the past. Nothing new…I don’t know why I chose this example but I guess it’s because it was something that stuck out to me the last time I saw the film.

      • What is wrong with the character names from those horrible Transformers movies? I blame the director, not the actors…maybe the casting director, too. I forget the names of the original humans from the cartoons, but the movie names sounded close. Though, if there was a girlfriend in the cartoons, she rarely appeared.

        I think the actors left the films because of the director and the risks taken. Shia is also rather restless/hyper, it seems, in general. So, sticking with such a chain of movies seemed unlikely even if they promised wealth.

        Picking actors before a script is written sounds very foolish if the actors are not part of the writing staff.

        Megan Fox surprised me with her intelligence on a late night talk show, but she still seems to make some odd/terrible choices for film roles. I am not sure if she lied about her drawing skills or comic book fandom.

        I would like my money back from seeing those films. I liked the concept of “the fallen,” though. I also liked the police car and tank villains as well as the option to have Bumblebee be denied normal speech. However, when Optimus says they learned how to speak from some website(s) (which they had less time to do than it took him to transform)…and Bumblebee pees coolant on that one guy…that turned me off.

      • Yah the movies were just…really immature honestly. I liked the cartoons WAY better. I know Megan Fox was fired after speaking badly about the director. She hasn’t gotten many great opportunities since…at least from what I’ve seen. I don’t really follow any specific actors. As for Shia I agree with you, he’s not the type to stay in one role forever. I think that’s why he’s directing now and working with all sorts of different artists versus just playing “that kid” in films. I think he gets casted that way because of his role on Even Stevens. He was caught in the “Louis” role for a long time but he’s an incredibly talented actor despite being casted in the same role. Yah…the movies seriously turned me off of the whole franchise. The last one was just…pointless. I felt really let down. I loved watching the cartoons with my baby cousins. I even played this game in the car where I’d try and figure out if I could spot autobots and decepticon’s…. I guess that’s pretty nerdy! But it was a scary game when it was a decepticon because those cars chased our car on the highway and I’d tell my dad to drive faster. xD My little sister would get so scared. I miss being a kid. I think I’m going to teach that game to my kids. As long as it doesn’t become distracting while I drive…. But yah the movies seriously let me down. The Xmen films however…better than some of the cartoons. The newer ones however…I don’t totally know how I feel about them.

      • I’ve never heard of Even Stevens, so I can’t say that about Shia.

        I think my biggest problem with the movies was the director trying to radically change the original material. But, this seems to be a trend not solely blamed on one person. Other movie-making organizations seem to be twisting original material/books and 1980s franchises, too. The GI Joe movies didn’t win me over, either, though Sienna Miller was an awesome Baroness (which surprised me).

        You mean you pretended real vehicles were possibly Autobots or Decepticons and tried to point them out? I’ve actually thought about the same on occasion when I see an odd group of cars and/or trucks on the road. I also saw one pickup with Autobot decals on the windows; I presume the driver was a big fan.

        I initially liked the first X-Men films (the Patrick Stewart ones) enough to look at the action figures. But, looking back at them, I didn’t like them as much. I feel the same way about the Wolverine extensions. I thought X-Men: First Class was okay except for the…how do I describe it…”teenage frivolity.” I first saw Jennifer Lawrence in that film and loved her performance. I liked Jinx/Jynx in “Days of Future Past.” I don’t remember enough of the film to recall if I really liked it or not.

      • Yah I wasn’t a fan of the G.I Joe movies either. I didn’t bother watching the second one actually. Yah, that’s exactly what I did. That’s why it scared my little sister a lot. She thought that the Decepticons were coming after us. I’m not a fan of the Wolverine extensions either. I didn’t mind the cartoons I guess…but film wise I haven’t been too keen about them. I agree with the first class films. I haven’t seen the second yet but I’d like to. I just enjoyed seeing a side to these characters that I’d never seen before. Jennifer Lawrence seriously surprised me with her performance as Mystique. I was glad to finally see more context behind her, other than this seductive blue lady. I think that’s why I also liked the cartoons. I got to see a wide variety of character backgrounds rather than just the typical Logan/Wolverine story.

      • I borrowed the second GI Joe from the library (in part because I didn’t get to the theater in time when it was there). I hated it from the first ten minutes. But, there were some good parts in the film. Of course, I am a sucker for ninja/kunoichi, so I enjoyed those bits. That one actress who now is playing Bobbie on Marvel’s Agents of Shield, Adrianne Palicki? She was nice in that movie. πŸ™‚ But, I would have done some different casting. I laugh at Bruce Willis’ role, but he was an interesting choice.

        My only problem with the Wolverine movie/s was when he rescued kid versions of the White Queen, Cyclops, etc. from a prison after he had encountered the White Queen in a previous film. I guess timelines got flipped around or I just got confused…which seems to be Logan’s excuse for losing his mind. Well, there was also the odd casting of that one guy to play the later version of Sabertooth who looked nothing like the one you see in the first film and had some lame lines. But, I thought they handled the childhood and World War portions of the story well enough. And, Gambit was an actually decent part of the Origins film. Silver Fox was stunning.

      • Oh that movie was from Wolverine’s past and how he came to lose his memory. I think I have that movie…I know which one you’re talking about. The time lines are seriously screwed up. It’s best to view that film as separate from the other Xmen films that were made around the time…at least that’s what my brother told me. It does make it a little easier to understand. Wolerine’s got a really intense backstory compared to some of the other characters. I think that’s why they ended up doing First Class. What I find weird is, although some of the cartoons and comic versions of the series mix things up to tell a different version of the story (for example having everyone in high school minus Storm, Logan and Xavier), when you put all of them together it makes things a lot easier to understand. What I think is really bizarre is that Sabbertooth is Wolverine’s brother in that particular film but it is never again addressed in any Xmen movie or cartoon that I’ve seen. They’ve never been made to look a like either. Like…in one of the cartoons that I watched this summer they said that Mystique was Nightcrawler’s mother. I suppose it’s possible but I don’t know if that’s actually from the comics or just something the cartoon writers added to make things a little more interesting.

      • I think his backstory is so intense because someone (or a number of someones) decided to like him so much and make him practically immortal unlike the rest of the cast. He might have been the first of the modern vampire inspirations (you know, all these teen “heart throb” vampire and “highlander” anti-heroes that strike dramatic poses, talk shit that’s supposed to be sexy and go around killing people anyway). Someone saw him trending and decided to include him in just about every stage of recent history.

        Even the cartoons get a lil screwy. They put Logan here and Storm there, and they’re a bit different from how you last saw theme. But, they try to sound the same. I begin to think writers just start getting permission to do whatever sells. I know there have been complaints over the years (since I can recall as far back as 1990) about backstories/origins being changed over and over, trying to excuse other universes/parallel worlds.

        I don’t recall him being Logan’s actual brother. I thought he was just “brother in arms,” the guy Logan ran from home and, later, ended up in Project X with.

        Yes, Mystique, as far as I know, IS Nightcrawler’s mother. If you do a lil research, supposedly the red “Nightcrawler” you see in the First Class film, paired with Kevin Bacon and the White Queen, hooks up with Mystique after the film, and the child they have is Nightcrawler. But, in the 90s cartoons, they say Sabertooth was his dad, I think. And, Rogue is Nightcrawler’s brother separated at birth. [Or, the red “Nightcrawler” is Nightcrawler’s dad, and Sabertooth is Rogue’s dad…and Mystique “got around.”]

      • I had this weird idea in my head based off the cartoon I watched this summer that Nightcrawler’s father was Magneto? It was the impression I got from it. I can’t exactly see Mystique with Sabbertooth based off of the versions that I’ve seen. Their personalities don’t really go together. It would be interesting if Rogue was Mystique and Logan’s child. That would be completely crazy but mutant power wise…I guess it makes sense. Rogue in some versions can take the powers, memories and abilities of those she comes into contact with along with their actual lives, whereas in other versions she just sucks the life out of people and they don’t really show the extent of her power. I find it difficult to by into the parallel universe thing for any franchise. It’s extremely difficult to try and force connections between the universes and it makes things confusing. A great example of confusing parallel universes would be the Kingdom Hearts franchise. I’m still trying to figure out the first bit of the parallel. Then they go and add like 6 more parallels to the story. Of course there are those Disney and Pixar theories as well. I find some of those are stretched a bit. I get the that the Disney Easter eggs are fun but at the same time saying that certain characters are the great grand children of other characters and what not is pretty ridiculous. Like how people are now trying to connect Frozen and Tarzan. The time periods are completely different. I don’t see how the writer or whoever can make that kind of statement. In my opinion, based off of the period that the films are set it, it is impossible for Tarzan to be related to Elsa and Anna as their brother. If they said that he was their great, great so forth grandson it would be more believable. The multiple backstories and universes for all of these franchises are just way too complex. I agree that they’re just doing it because it makes big money. They don’t care about whether or not it connects or makes sense, they only care about the big bucks.

      • That’s the thing about Mystique. She is a bit of an enigma. And, while, as a guy, I would be rather selective of who she hooks up/has relations with…I am not her puppet master. So, whoever is writing her story is kinda treating her like a casual dater who is having kids with different fathers before slipping away into the night. Of course, as you see with Nightcrawler in the second X-Men live-action movie, the kids start out as orphans. I am not sure how Rogue was adopted.

        I seem to recall some reference to Magneto being his father, too. But, I more recently heard Magneto was the father of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch who are technically Avenger recruits though they were given different likenesses in both groups of movies.

        I think, like with grouping superheroes, the Disney Empire is trying to make everyone a fan of every character by linking them together. Hey, ya like her?! Well, check out this guy, her distant cousin! Yeah! Buy all of them! They’re family! See?! Barbie rides the dinosaur guy and marries the jungle boy who plays with Kung Fu Panda–oh, wait, that’s not our kid…YET! Ms. Marple? Yes, boss? Call Dreamworks and tell them we’re buying them so Barbie can hang with Kung Fu Panda.

      • Yes Magneto is Quicksilver and Scarlet’s father. That was in the version I saw over the summer. It made sense with Scarlet’s powers. Quicksilver not so much. Plus Scarlet and Quicksilver looked nothing a like as you mentioned. Lol. Yah that’s exactly what I picture them doing. All of these different ships and random links between characters are just for marketing purposes. They don’t even seem to try and make it connect. They’re just making these random statements. Hopefully Barbie never meets Kung Fu Panda. I like Barbie movies although Barbie is extremely corny and the typical good girl character. The Ken’s in her films are always hilarious. Honestly Ken is probably my favourite character. Not to mention my niece is obsessed with Barbie right now…it’s the only thing keeping her away from mentioning Frozen. I can’t sing anymore Let it Go. I’d rather sing some song from a Barbie movie and plus the older films had lots of classical music in them along with the animation. I really appreciated that. I like musicals but I can’t stand films that do them wrong. Character’s don’t need to sing all the time. That’s why O Brother Art Thou is my favourite musical film. They sing where real people sing so that no one notices that it’s a musical! My family’s been watching it for years and they all hate musicals. Probably because I obnoxiously sing along to every Disney film we own on purpose. My sister only sings to Aladdin with me…funny I haven’t heard anyone trying to connect Aladdin and Jasmin to anyone? That’s bizarre.

      • No, I was referring to the difference in one set of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch from another. One version in the Avengers, the other in X-Men. As for the siblings looking alike, neither do Nightcrawler and Rogue. Different mothers, perhaps. Or the luck of the mutant gene draw.

        You…like…Barbie movies? I am just going to pretend I didn’t read that.

        Yea, Let It Go is getting so played out, I just say Idina Menzel when I want people to stop saying something. If they don’t know what that means, I have a lil laugh.

        I am anti-Barbie, by the way. And, I could go on a while with my reasons. So…

        I am not a big musical fan. I sat through Cats…which was okay. I hated Oklahoma. I guess it depends on the story, the casting and the acting.

      • I like the old Barbie films mainly because of the music and the animation. I animate videos…or I did. I stopped working on them as often because my tablet is being a jerk. I also like to write songs so I really pay attention to that sort of thing. I find the actually character of Barbie to be a little…she’s so… I’m having trouble to think of the word but basically she just doesn’t seem authentic. She’s really plastic. No pun in tended. She just seems so fake to me. She’s not real…but compared to other doll to film characters, she’s got to have the fakest personality…or really no personality at all. I have a little sister and a 3 year old niece so I’ve watched many, many, many princess sparkle time movies. I don’t mind the princess phase though. It’s way better than the “no!” phase and the “Oh my gosh stop talking to me!” phase. I’m glad my sister’s new love is her Nintendo DS.
        I’m the only one in my family that likes musicals but like you said it depends on the casting. I didn’t like the film version of Les Mis’. I hated it actually. It…was…just… all star casts annoy me, especially when they can’t sing. Why would you hire a bunch of people who can’t sing in a classical style to be in a musical where the music is written for classically trained singers. They butchered every song. I refuse to watch that movie again. It’s like Frozen and Let it Go to me. I won’t sit through it. I refuse. My niece names everything Elsa and Anna. Everything. She named a tree in our house Elsa and a little like…potted plant thingy Anna. I was like, “How about another name?” and she said, “Um Hans and Christof?” I was way better with names as a kid. There was Chad, Charles, Brock, Anika, Michael, Harvey, Linna, Fiona…Hopper. My mom gave Hopper away when we moved without telling me and he was my second favourite stuffed rabbit. He was orange and white. I guess when I was being born everyone got me stuffed rabbits because my birthday falls around Easter. My favourite animals are bears, so my favourite toy is a bear. I’m hiding it in my room but I caught a glance of a stuffed animal in my roommates room so I’m not that embarrassed about it anymore. My parents freaked out when I pulled it out of my bag. Their like, “You’re too old for that! You’re almost 20!” I don’t care. My room looks so empty without my bear. I don’t know why I’m talking about my stuffed animals but…okay. I have this weird feeling that my mother’s about to give away my stuff again while I’m at school. :-/ I wish she wouldn’t do that.

      • How nice you grew up with a tablet that could animate… The closest I had to that was a DOS program called Turtle. You typed in commands, and this lil triangle drew a design. You could save the file to watch it redraw the image over and over.

        No, she is plastic in every way:P I could say more, but I’d risk being lewd.

        Paying attention to animation skills and songs for notes is fine. But, Barbie?? Why not….well, just about anything else. But…to each their own. We all work with what’s on hand.

        I thought Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe were decent in that film. Maybe the singing wasn’t the best. But, they did well with the parts.

        That’s because your niece is at the stage of development my nephew is at, where he names every young woman he sees “Momma” and every older woman “Nana” and every older man “Granpa” and every teenage boy “Grimmy” (don’t ask). It’s just how little ones learn association of basics before learning the specifics. It’s like you learning the parts of the body but not yet taking an anatomy class that gives each bone and tiny cell a different name.

        There are plenty of adults who keep stuffed animals. Certain astrological signs are said to be quite attached to youthful items. And, some people do enjoy winning them at carnivals. So, no reason to be embarrassed about that. You just don’t go around calling your stuffed bear Binky around strangers. Ya know?

        Your parents are just…parents.

        Why did I think you were older than 20? I dunno.

        Yea, moms do that……………..grumble.

      • My brother is in his 30’s? So I might make references to things from his age group. We’ve got a 12 year age gap.
        I pay attention to all sorts of animated films. Like The Iron Giant for example…or Danny Phantom. Anime. Whatever. I look for what I like and what I dislike and try and find my own style.
        That’s true. I showed my niece a picture of her when she was just learning to walk and she said, “Awe! That baby is so cute!” and then my brother asked, “Do you know who that baby is?” and she looked at the picture for a while and said, “That’s me as a baby?” I remember she used to look at pictures of me when I was a baby and she’d say “That’s me!” and I would go, “Nope. That’s me.” She had a phase where she assumed she was the only baby in the world. So what you’re saying makes a lot of sense.
        I’m so used to people thinking that I’m between 13 and 16. I’m still 19 but I’m 20 in a few months. It’s pretty freaky thinking about it. I don’t feel 19. I don’t think I’ll feel 20 either. Maybe I just assumed that I would be more mature than I am now. I’m still very much like a child…but I’m a child who is capable of being responsible for myself. Most of the time.
        My mom did that with my puppy when I was 12. I bought the dog with my birthday money and had saved up for years. Then my mom gave the dog away after promising that she wouldn’t until we talked about it. That was the cruelest thing she’s ever done. Honestly… I’m still not over it. I know my dad had allergies but seriously? I paid for the dog. It was my dog. I paid for her. I trained her. I named her. I picked her out at the farm. Then you give away MY dog? My mom make a joke that she’d get me a new dog when I moved out. I haven’t forgotten. I’ve reminded her every year since then. Unfortunately my roommates have a no pets rule because last year the one kid who had a puppy let their dog trash the apartment all the time. I still want my dog…. I had a stuffed Labrador that looked just like my puppy and I slept with it every night until I got over it. Thing is my best friend moved away when I got the dog and I was pretty lonely because I didn’t have any friends in my class. I hated elementary school. Hated it. Yet I want to teach it. I don’t know how I got into this sob story about my dog. Sorry!

      • A 12 yr gap between children in the family??

        I think Mom had a hard time figuring out how to convince you the dog had to go. So, she went the easy way parents harp on kids about. They will tell you not to do it, but then they do it.

        I hated high school. I should have hated elementary school because of the bullies I endured. But, those were the “golden years” when I actually had some sort of friends and a few crushes I felt capable of grasping…until I lost touch with everyone and everything.

        No, it’s good. But, you could have emailed me about it, too, and then we’d probably be pen pals. πŸ™‚

      • My brother has a different dad, that’s why we have such a big age gap. My mom and dad got married when my brother was 10? I think…. I liked parts of high school. If I had gone to school with majority of the kids from my elementary school I probably would have hated it. I don’t even know if I would’ve made it through those 4 years honestly. Those kids drove each other to the edge all the time. You never knew who was your friend. It was just horrible…. it wasn’t until after high school was over that I learned who my true friends were.
        Yah she probably didn’t want to deal with the convincing half of it. My mom is funny with things like that.
        My first year of university was lonely and depressing but so far this year is going well. Speaking of pen pals, I’m delivering my pen pal letters to a local elementary school today. I’m pretty pumped for it. I’m just trying to keep myself busy with clubs and things so that I don’t get that lonely feeling again. I don’t even wanna think about last year…but oh well. This years going great.

      • It’s a program connected to my university. We write letters to local elementary school students to help them get better at reading and writing. They’re between grades 1 and 4 I think? I’ve got gr. 2’s.
        We deliver them in person sometimes and when we do we do a bunch of fun activities. We played a bunch of tag games the other day which was fun. I haven’t played tag in years.
        Yah I’ve always had a hard time making conversation with people. It’s always been easier for them to talk to me first because I usually over think what I want to say. Thanks to my summer job I’ve gotten over it though. Now I’ve got two friends and they’re awesome. πŸ™‚

      • Interesting program.

        If you deliver the letters in person, that’s not exactly being pen pals…

        I don’t think I would be much fun at tag…

        Baaaah! There’s that “over thinking” again. We don’t over think. We just think more than others do. It’s like some of us are Troodons, and some are Triceratops.

      • Lol well we only deliverer in person twice a year. It’s so the kids know who they are writing to and who they are getting letters from.
        xD Yes I love that! We think more than others do! I’m going to start saying that from now on.

      • You could send photos with your letters once or more, and they could keep that photo on a board or wall with your name by a mailbox (where your letters would arrive). That way they’d remember who sent what, too, without a personal visit.

        Good. Because it is really hurtful to ourselves to think we think too much. Just as some, like me, have high metabolisms and eat more food faster. I am a bit like a plant that absorbs a lot of water. My busy brain sometimes requires a lot of food. But, we shouldn’t be whipped for thinking more diversely. Everyone has their unique quirk. It just seems to be an eternal struggle for us all to accept each other.

      • Yah that’s a really good idea. Maybe they used to do that? I know the programs been on for about 20 years.
        That’s true. It makes me feel like something is seriously wrong with me when I “think too much” about a situation. Then I will try not to think about it and it feels like I’m going to explode because it keeps popping into my head. I think of more people thought of it as “thinking more than others” then all of us big thinkers wouldn’t beat ourselves up all the time.
        I think with acceptance, I’ve learned to just take people as they are. Don’t try to change them and don’t criticize them for the choices they make. Just let them be who they are. Even if you’re not their biggest fan, and you know they’re a total jerk, least you accept that they’re a jerk. Once you accept it, it’s easier to deal with. You’re like, “Okay this kids a jerk. That’s who he is. Not gonna get all offended by what he does or says.”
        It works for me most of the time.

      • I think our “excessive thinking” simply comes from less time spent in the company of others. It seems we are monks without shaving our heads and sitting by temples. If we got out and socialized regularly, our thoughts might be divided between the thoughts of others and ourselves. Instead, we have an “infection” of “what ifs” bubble in our brains. We become our own audience.

        I have had to fight with my family because of this. I can’t just be mad at bullies and the like from school days. It’s my family that has as much trouble accepting my way of thinking as the rest. So, I’ve had to get mad and put them in their place, occasionally, which isn’t fun or nice.

        That’s tough for me (and my family). Just accepting people…we can be so critical and opinionated. And, there is a thread of “control freak” in the family, always correcting and adjusting others like directors for a movie or play. Yet, I would never hire an actor and make them change their weight or appearance for a project. That’s sick. Yet, so many do that.

        I usually am the one who comes off as a jerk, lately….going back as far as high school, though I always felt like the meek nerd being picked on by the jerks.

      • I’m glad that you view our way of thinking as a beautiful thing versus negative. I’ve spent years being criticized mainly by teachers for the way I think…because I didn’t fit the curriculum. My interests have always varied and often I surprise people with the different things that I’m into. I’ve had my friends and family try and push me out of my comfort zone but it was something I had to do on my own. I would try so hard not to get upset by it but it bothered me. Now that I’ve finally learned how to make small talk with other people I can finally interact with them. However I still spend a lot of my time inside of my own head. Even while speaking with someone my mind is working away at some idea.
        My dad surprisingly has begun to see our way of thinking as a positive thing. He believes that people need to begin to disconnect from the technological world and start spending time with themselves. He feels that we’ve become consumed by the thought that we need to be “connected” all of the time to the point where many of us can no longer think for ourselves.
        Sounds like a dystopian sci-fi movie….
        I’ve always been the quiet one. Quiet, but not meek. People assumed I was meek until I spoke. Apparently when you’re quiet people think you’re really smart. However as the saying goes, even a fool can seem wise when he keeps his mouth shut.
        My dad quotes that a lot.

      • It’s beautiful if we work together and make something of it. But, if all we do is remain separate and idle, what good are we? I sometimes feel like an arcade game waiting for someone to play me. My graphics are moving and making noises, but I’m not revving my engines or going anywhere.

        I would like to slap any teacher who criticizes you for the way you think. That’s harsh. I’d expect a teacher to get frustrated and discipline you but not complain about the way you think out loud.

        That reminds me of that year of English classes in which I had to tune my writing to please the teachers (2 in one year). I still hear the one saying I had no “style” and threatening to flunk me.

        I still am that way about my comfort zone; and it feels quite pathetic. Yet, if people got to know and liked my comfort zone, I suspect I could be quite the cozy comfort cat. πŸ™‚

        I haven’t had any remotely genuine friends–the kind that call and hang out with you regularly–for a while now. But, there were rare moments when the ones I did have way back when tested me. And, it usually resulted in me getting hurt. I botched my nose one year. And, another year, I tried to do stunts on my bike while exiting a cemetery. That did not go well. Some friends, ay? At least the one female friend I had didn’t mind playing nurse. πŸ™‚

        I am not sure I am any good with small talk… I tend to probe deeper topics and get carried away sometimes.

        That’s gotta be rough and slightly annoying to others: you being in your head while they’re talking. I do that, too, and then get upset because I both missed what was said and didn’t respect the person with whom I was speaking. It’s really bad during movies. I might miss 15 minutes or so of a plot because one line sends me thinking.

        Ha, so Dad’s support comes from his prehistoric dislike of modern tech. It’s the old story of the previous generation of gods suppressing their children.

        I question the “connecting” when it deprives eye contact while providing excessive access to visuals and information, some we don’t need.

        And, yea, I now use a calculator too much after years of being disciplined by teachers who insisted I use my head. πŸ˜›

        Me, too. When I finally would get mad like the Hulk, people took notice. But, then it went away, and I was the meek one, again.

        Is that why my family and teachers thought I was smart? Because I kept my lip shut?

        As I got older, I noticed my level of smarts depended upon wearing glasses, almost like Clark Kent. Without glasses, I was a joker. With glasses, I was Bill Gates. People treat me with more respect while wearing glasses but also expect more of me. I’m working on that cure for dysfunction, people. Just be patient.

      • I wear glasses too and everyone expects me to be smart and mature. I don’t understand it at all.
        With small talk, I just never knew what to say…but most of the people I’ve begun making friends with this year, I spoke to first. I’m glad I did… last year was so lonely I almost couldn’t bear it. I enjoy spending time on my own but I also need to have physical contact with others. I had people I texted but texting and hanging out are so different.
        My family ridiculed me because I told them I was struggling to make friends. They didn’t understand what the problem was. I felt more alone when they wouldn’t listen to how I was feeling. I felt rejected and isolated…and I hadn’t felt that way since I was a kid.
        It was overwhelming. I snapped once the year was over after yelling at my mom about the situation. My dad didn’t want me to go to school far away because I’d never been away from my family before. My mom encouraged me to leave. She wanted me to be more independent.
        This year I can say that I’m doing a lot better….but last year by the time school finished I was still feeling overwhelmed and bitter. I was afraid of spending another year alone…and after telling off my mom because she couldn’t understand my emotions I ended up hyperventilating in my room. I usually hold in my emotions and explode but…that time was scary for even me. I guess I should’ve listened to my dad but if my folks had just took the time and let me talk, instead of commenting and making me feel like a loser then I think I would’ve felt better.
        …and of course it didn’t help that my family was going through stuff.
        Last year was really tough. I’ve never felt so…trapped.

      • Even at my age, my family isn’t the most compassionate when I feel the need to divulge something that might be considered a weakness or odd thought. Sharing hobbies and interests doesn’t go well.

        I don’t ever want to feel the way you just did, trapped and alone.

      • No you don’t. It’s the worst feeling in the world. It’s just about as bad as getting your heart broken…then again I don’t know too much about broken hearts. What I felt in high school was a mixture of regret and jealousy. Still it sure sucked.
        At least I’ve learned something…and now that I’m in a new year I’m able to start over and try again. That’s the difference between high school and university I guess. People don’t go around butting into each others business and it isn’t hard to meet someone knew. It just took me an entire year to figure that out. I want to avoid feeling like that for the rest of my life…but I also don’t want that feeling to stop me from doing things as well.

      • Are you really starting anew? Because, though things changed every school year, the lousy stuff that happened the previous year still kinda stuck around…like the lousy nicknames and other labels I was given. By the time I graduated, I kinda felt like a beat-up car covered in bumper stickers from election years over the past two decades.

      • Yah this year is definitely a new start for me. Because I never really got into the party scene or the first year university…craziness, I didn’t meet a lot of people. So the only people who know of me are the ones who lived on my floor in residence.
        They may still think of me as this quiet kid who doesn’t go anywhere. Maybe they think I’m a snob? Who knows? Who cares?
        I’ve got lots of great people in my courses that I’ve become close with, and people from clubs as well.
        I’ve always been known as the quiet kid. I got used to being excluded back in elementary school and when high school came around I was fed up with all of it. It was a new school, and only like 10 of us from my elementary school went there. I was still known in high school for being quiet but because I tried harder to break out of my shell I was known for other things too, like being fast and writing stories and music and getting a new book every day from the library, and being really good at solving riddles…oh and the master editor of essays. xD
        This second year kind of feels like high school…without the drama.
        I didn’t know how to make small talk until working in a restaurant. My father even said struggles with small talk so I know where I get it from. I mean if I never randomly talked to the person next to me in class back in September I would’ve missed out on a really cool friendish person…well person I am dating but…yah. I don’t know how this dating thing works. No ones calling anyone girlfriend or boyfriend yet so I assume that friends is appropriate?
        I do try and say hello to people and I try and smile at people as well because…I know people think that when you’re not very talkative that you’re judging them silently or something stupid like that. A family friend actually thought I was a scary child because I never spoke. She finds quiet people terrifying.
        I get what you mean with the beat-up car because I can be pretty hard on myself…but I know if I don’t make an effort to get to know people then no one will want to bother with me. I just can’t let myself get sucked into that horrible cycle of isolating myself and feeling depressed. I enjoy spending time by myself but I also need to interact with people. I have to have balance or my head swells with all sorts of thoughts until I feel like I’m going to explode…oh wow I’m gonna be late for my class! But yah so…so far this year is a lot better. There are times when I do feel a little weird because someone purposely acts like they don’t know who I am, but I’m the kind of person who, if you’re going to be all rude and immature then you’re not worth my time. You know? OKAY TO CLASS!

      • I don’t think you’d be saying “Who cares?” if you didn’t care. So, don’t drive yourself crazy repeating that.

        Yeah, I was a master editor, too…but my other noted “habits” were not entirely true or nicely mentioned…

        Of course, you should start as friends and work toward the BF/GF thing. No rush.

        Well? Aren’t you doubting or expecting others to judge you as crazy or thinking too much yourself because they don’t say what they think?

        I am glad no one thought I was scary for being quiet…that would have made me feel worse…or turned me into something scary.

        Yes, I know all about the “head-swelling” abyss of despair and confusion.

        Yea, don’t miss class because of this place.

      • It’s funny I thought “if I’m saying who cares then I obviously care?” while I wrote that. I guess what I mean is certain things I’m able to brush off. They wont necessarily scar me for life.
        Honestly I can’t imagine someone talking bad about me without a reason. I just started to realize when I got much older that certain people do not like being around quiet people. Some find it scary…although I don’t know why? And other people just think quiet people “have nothing to say.” which is not true at all. I can talk a lot if given the opportunity.
        Yah I used to…er I still do this but…I used to love pretending that I was like this creepy child with serious angst. Which I’m not at all…I’m pretty optimistic about most situations. I enjoyed those cool, tough guy characters as a kid. The ones that didn’t talk much and glared at everyone…and got detention depending on the show. It wasn’t because I wanted to be bad…honestly I think I’m too good. I guess you can’t be too good but sometimes I WISH I could just punch certain people out but I don’t because I don’t wanna hurt them…and my mom told me if I got into another fight I’d be in serious trouble. Last time I kicked a kid I was in 10th grade. I got into a lot of fist fights as a kid…because I liked to take on the persona of a tough, cold, kinda stereotypical persona. It was fun though. I liked the role. I just…didn’t like getting in trouble because my friends and I would be playing a game where we actually beat each other up. Like we’d play Star Wars and some awesome made up ninja games and stuff. I liked to play the character that was a good guy but was sort of like Batman. Where you’re getting justice outside the law. Yah…I don’t know why I always seemed drawn to those types of characters. Most people would want to be the lead hero or something. Maybe it’s because even though those characters were seen as quiet they were also really tough, wise and often edgy. I wouldn’t say I’m edgy but I could be if I practiced or just was in a really bad mood.
        I was only 13 minutes late for my class. There’s only like 8 of us because its a seminar. We laughed and talked about vodka. So I didn’t miss much. English classes are fun.

      • Sometimes using a fist is better than grabbing a gun. In a world where guns seem more convenient than words, I’d rather we use our fists and feet than do any instantaneous fatal harm with less chance of survival. Just my POV. And, sure, I could do everything in my power not to use my fists and feet…but some imps ask for it.

        So, you being tough is copying some character you saw in a Japanese cartoon?

        I would never indulge a “game” that involves getting beat up (except maybe wrestling with a girl/woman). πŸ™‚ I was and still am quite paranoid/defensive about being hurt. I don’t think it sensible to purposely let someone knock me senseless and potentially do permanent damage. I have taken my share of “licks” from stupid accidents.

        Wow, sounds like a really important class. [Sarcasm] Ladies and gentlemen, I give you modern education. What a waste.

      • Oh yah that class was very effective. xD
        All week my peers have been completely out of it during our discussions. It’s getting close to exams so I think its good we’re just having fun before people start losing it on themselves…there have been a few suicides this year at my school so I’d rather people laugh and have a few care free moments before all the pressure officially kicks in. 😦
        Not just Japanese cartoons, really any movie where there’s a tough guy. I used to think they were really cool and I’d picture myself like acting like them. I don’t know why I’m drawn to those types of characters because personally I don’t go around glaring at people and giving them attitude. In my family if you do that you get in a lot of trouble lol. My folks are not fond of saucy behaviour.
        I do agree with your point of view. I honestly think that using a gun is a cheap way of “fighting” someone. I don’t even know how that would release any of your anger or aggression. When I kick something like a soccer ball and I put all my frustration into it once I make contact, all that frustration flies out of my body. I feel calm again. I’m not trying to kill the soccer ball, but people need to hit things sometimes. It just happens.
        Like my friend asked if I were more passive and I realized that I am to a certain point. I bottle things up until I can’t hold it in anymore. Then I explode…which either scares people or makes me beat up on myself. I don’t like to show my negative emotions publically, unless I am frustrated with the treatment of another person. Growing up I remember my buddy got punched in the face by another boy in our class and my friend got on the school bus and was trying not to cry. I felt so angry that the next morning I went up to the kid and was like, “Why did you punch him?” and the kid told me to F off. I like to be that jerk that smiles at people and says, “You have a nice day” when they’re rude to me. I find nothing pisses people off more than when you’re still smiling after being insulted. Funny thing is one of our teachers over heard the conversation and told the kid off. I actually saw the kid while I was working this summer. He said hi to me. We never had ill feelings toward each other. I just couldn’t understand why people kept picking on my buddy. He likes to gossip and he’s kind of a jerk sometimes but he’s not a jerk to the point of needing a good smack. He’s more of a jerk in a younger annoying brother sense. You just give them a look and tell them to shut up…. I should see how he’s doing. Haven’t talked to him since last December or something. xD

      • Whoa!… suicides at school? Bad juju…

        I am not sure how to feel about some students having so much carefree amusement while others are freaking out that badly. It just brings back nightmares.

        I am not sure if I should worry about you pretending to be tough guys or fall in love with this acting “skill” of yours. I am wavering on the notion that you’d be a fun partner on Halloween and in theater shows.

        In my family, “saucy behavior” just comes with the territory. It may be the Italian blood that turns them into loud-mouthed bulls.

        Well, as much as I hate guns, if I had to use one, I’d go with a pistol/handgun over a rifle or something bigger. I think some of your “tough guys” in movies use ridiculously big guns. And, you see them often with action figures, which make some cool toys ridiculous. I can see how a gun could give someone a thrill or a jolt of energy that they–in their minds–see as a form of release. It’s sort of like a bow and arrow with more punch coming back at you than leaving your grip. I suspect anyone who enjoys the recoil of guns has a bit of a masochist in them. It’s just the idea of bloodshed and fatal damage that scares me. I’d rather use a stun gun. But, even those scare me a bit.

        The problem with using hands and feet is that you risk more injury to yourself. You see guys punch someone and recoil in pain. Not only can you end up in pain from punching, but you may get punched back and have to cope with the recovery time. Sometimes, you might throw a punch to satisfy your need and get punched unexpectedly in return, only to regret punching because of the harm done to yourself. [Ow, my nose…says Owen Wilson.]

        I have been enjoying kicking kids’ toy/sport balls immensely lately. I need that physical/emotional release badly. I feel like Superman. I just want to punt something into space.

        Yea, I could sit down with you and discuss the bottling/exploding, scaring/beating yourself up business for days…

        Well, some people just use fists instead of words because they don’t have the former. Just as some people talk too much when some would prefer they use action instead of words to show more integrity.

        Can I say I just wish we could sit down regularly and talk our brains out? Cuz I think I need a counselor/therapy session…and we’re sure going at it here. πŸ™‚

        If I ran into my old “jerk” from school days, again, I’d still prefer not to talk to him, again. After 11 years of putting up with him, I am done.

      • Lol yah the tough guy thing is kind of weird. I do like to act and stuff…but I kinda keep it a secret from my friends. My family knows I like to. I just find that whenever I tell my friends that I’m good at something or into something they suddenly want me to perform and then I freeze up.
        Lol Owen Wilson xD.
        I find now that I’m not doing sports it’s a lot harder for me to get rid of stress…and I think stress makes me tired. A few weeks ago I just couldn’t get out of bed so I ended up skipping class all day. I felt guilty about it but I seriously couldn’t get myself out of bed. It was really weird. I’m trying to start up some sort of work out routine that I can do so I can loosen up a little. I’ve just had assignment after assignment for two months now…and its really draining my energy. I’m behind on homework too. I keep putting it off to work on my assignments…but I have exams soon so if I put off my homework then I’ll have to study twice as hard which will make me stress out more.
        Today I decided to go have fun and walk around the book store and the mall for a couple of hours. I went by myself because sometimes I just stare at book shelves and don’t actually pick anything up. I just like the quiet space I guess. I feel…at home around books.
        Plus I needed a new pair of jeans and a sweater. Unfortunately I spent more money than I planned. At least I had fun. I had fun all weekend actually. It was a good break…but my little sister has warned me that my dad says if I’m out until 2am again there’s gonna be trouble. I’m a responsible kid. I told him I was going with a friend to a party. I told him where it was. I told him when it started. I think my dad was more concerned about me being out that late since I never go anywhere and he knows I’ve been to a nightclub only once. I get it. I honestly do…but the fact that I told him what I was up to, unlike most kids my age who don’t even call their parents to let them know they’re okay (which my brother does and he’s 30), means I don’t want them to worry. So why would I do anything that would make them worry?
        I think my dads starting to realize I’m not a little kid anymore and he’s getting scared. Ever since I started dating he’s been acting funny.
        Like when we were buying my bed for my apartment, we got a double bed and my mom joked and said, “Oh no better not get a double bed. You know what kids do when they have extra room in bed!” and my dads face was like “Yah maybe we shouldn’t. Don’t need none of THAT happening.” and I was like “Guys, I’m not gonna do THAT. No worries.” and my little sister burst out laughing because she’s…very, very mature. I wish my mom would stop making me feel awkward about dating though. My dad and I have similar personalities. We don’t talk about certain things…and my mother just likes to pick at us until we do. Once I spill something to her she automatically tells everyone. In kindergarten I had my first crush. I told my mom. She told everyone on our street because “it was cute.” So all my neighbours kept saying, “How’s your cute little friend at school?” “I hear you have a crush!” She did this to me every year…and she figured it out even if I didn’t tell her who it was. What was worse is when she told my dad because he’d just make up his face and look at me and I don’t know what that look means…but it kinda scares me.
        My dad just…doesn’t seem to like the idea of me dating. Maybe he wants me to focus on school? Thank god my sister and him are close because I wouldn’t know what he was thinking. My friend even asked me, “Hey what time are you planning on going home?” and I said, “Not sure but I’m taking the bus home so I don’t wanna be out to late.” and my dad sent me a bunch of text messages saying take a taxi home. I’m not spending money on a taxi when as a student I get to bus for free!
        Taxi’s are for emergencies. Like if you’re stranded in a snow storm or you have to go to the hospital but you’re well enough to like…not need an ambulance.
        Plus I don’t drink alcohol so it’s not like I was going to get wasted at the club. I don’t get why he’s acting like this?
        It seems like everyone around me believes I don’t know anything about the real world. Even my sisters friends who are in high school, think I’m naΓ―ve. But their definition of being naΓ―ve is people who don’t smoke pot and don’t drink alcohol. Which I think is stupid. I don’t drink because I know how my body reacts to caffeine. I’ve had food with alcohol in it, and have gotten kind of drunk off it…which sucked. I didn’t realize that when you eat cakes with alcohol that you can’t really measure the alcohol in each slice. I had a massive head ache all day…and my mom laughed at me. Oh and I couldn’t stop giggling like an idiot. It was good cake. I like cake…. my folks make it every year for Christmas and it always smelt good as a kid so I had some in 12th grade. Now I know…but yah the non-stop giggling.
        Yah…I don’t want my parents to be so concerned about me, especially my dad because my dad tries so hard to hide that he’s worrying about me but my sister and my mom always rat me out…plus its so obvious. I know I’ve never dated before and they don’t want me to get hurt, or get myself into trouble but I don’t tune them out when they give me advice on relationships and finances… and unfortunately I know what an unhealthy relationship looks like. I’d never let anyone treat me like that, and I would never treat someone else that way. I guess I wish they’d trust me a little more.
        This is probably what’s stressing me out…not my assignments. Oh boy.
        Lol yah it would be fun to just sit and talk all day. xD I enjoy our conversations a lot.

      • Wow, we just keep writing novels. How about you contact my via my Contact Me page and we take this to email?

        Is it stress making you tired or stress making you reluctant to do anything because you don’t want more stress? If stress is making you tired, that means you are spending too many hours awake with it and losing sleep. I think I have had my share of both. Some days, the thought of stresses keeps me in bed. Other days, I spend so much time fretting or feeling angry/anxious that I lose sleep.

        How does a person skip so many classes? I used to feel guilty calling in sick and then extra stressed trying to make up the homework.

        I wish I could exercise with you. I think having a workout buddy would be a big help to us both.

        I don’t even want to read about your school work load because it brings back old panic.

        I totally understand the appeal of walking among bookshelves…but I always feel self-conscious/guilty in a place of business…or even a public library. I feel like I should be buying or doing other business there instead of just wearing the carpet.

        Ah, the days of freezing up before classmates as a kid…it’s been a while. I do still do a bit of that when coworkers or family tease me about something I did. And, I don’t like them pressuring me to perform.

        It’s rarely a good idea to spend more than you plan. More often than not, it spells trouble for later.

        Yep, once you start attending parties and dating, normal parents are going to turn into prison guards. It’s their way of making sure you don’t have kids with the wrong gene pool. It goes back to species before we were humans.

        How old are you, again? 18?

        You can’t tell a parent you’ll never do something once you reach college or drinking age. [In Spain, I think the drinking age is 12.] At that stage, you’re capable of anything. Some kids “rebel” even younger. I had kids in my elementary class who had slept together.

        Yea, here’s my advice when eating or drinking with strangers: Always ask what is in the food/drink and never leave your plate or glass unattended lest someone slip something into it.

        I had one drink on a trip that I thought was just fruit punch. Turns out it had vodka in it. I couldn’t finish more than a few sips on my empty stomach and still had to give the waiter a tip….that was lousy and stupid of me.

        Getting help with finances is fine. But, you’ll soon realize getting tips on dating/relationships should not come from anyone. It’s something you need to work out yourself. But, hearing tales of the experiences of others may be useful.

        So, yea, email. And, breathe.

      • I’m 19 but I’m not big on those types of parties and I don’t drink. My mom told me about not leaving drinks and food unattended as well. She had some jerk spike her drink when she was my age, so she’s been telling my siblings and I that story since we were like probably 6 or 7 years old. Probably at the same time as the whole, “Don’t get into a strangers car” speech. I went through my rebellious stage earlier…and yah some people I know from elementary school had slept around but more so in high school. Only two of my friends had been doing that sort of thing and the rest of us kind of just ignored their bragging because we didn’t see the big deal. I still don’t see the big deal in “getting laid” but apparently it’s this awesome thing. I suppose after being lectured about waiting till marriage and seeing examples as to why I should definitely wait, I’ve been turned off of the whole, “getting laid” thing.
        My rebellious phase was honestly me sitting in the basement or in my room writing novels all day and not communicating with my family what so ever. Oh and reading books and not speaking to anyone as well. I also considered changing my name at one point due to an argument I had with my parents. I don’t know why but between ages 12 and 14 I was extremely unhappy and really moody. My family was supposed to move around that time and I was actually excited because I hated my school and only really had one good friend at the time. I still don’t like some of the people from that school. I just found them all to be snobs and they ignored me for several years without reason. I’ll keep this short since this’ll be in emails now lol. I guess it’s long at this point. Yah…my folks keep insisting I visit them now so I have to finish an essay by tonight….no blogging today probably 😦

      • You are lucky you “don’t see the big deal” (and if you still have not). In my high school, I was one of maybe five who didn’t “see the big deal.” And, I was ostracized…humiliated for it. It seemed everyone else had crossed those lines and saw no big deal in experimenting while I was afraid one of them would stick me with an STD if I crossed their weak lines.

        It may sound like a corny parent saying (at least around here), but the “awesome” part of “getting laid” should be what comes before it, knowing you are in love with someone you will fight for and stick with a long time. But, that’s idealistic in this world, it seems. And, many who turn on religion will say it’s foolish. I am not entirely sure, but there seems to be a correlation between getting laid and turning on your religion, essentially becoming an atheist.

        I do not think marriage is as important as making a commitment to stay with someone. Maybe once people re-learn the importance of commitment they will honor the old ways of marriage, again. But, presently, it seems, so many people treat marriage they way my high school class treated classes…with a lack of seriousness. My classmates took what the Catholic religion call Confirmation so lightly and completed the course just to get their parents off their backs…only to break every rule of the moral code later. They were not serious religious followers. They were not committed to anything…except maybe experimenting.

        Your rebellious phase sounds like a prison sentence. If I was you, I imagine my classmates would talk ill of me constantly. “There’s that dungeon girl, Quasimundane.”

        Well, I went through that phase between 14 and 24. So…

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