Recently I’ve been trying to decide on what I should submit for publishing (for our schools yearly book), however my original idea…has some how vanished into thin air. I was going to submit a story, one that I had not posted onto my blog that was reviewed by my peers…however I’m unable to find it anywhere. So now I am considering my poetry, but like I mentioned before depending on what I submit, I don’t know if I want to have my name on it. Especially since one of my professors will be reviewing the submissions…and well, he’s a tough guy to please sometimes. He’s said it himself. He’s picky when it comes to writing…but he’s a writer himself.
So, I’m thinking of going through some poems that I’ve written, that haven’t been posted anywhere online. The submission cannot have been published before, and I don’t want to be called out for plagiarism because I submitted something I had written four years ago, and posted on one of the many writing websites I’ve been on over the years.
I’m worried that I may not submit anything at all out of fear…fear of what I’m not sure. I don’t know why but when it comes to contests or submitting to collections, I become uneasy. Is it that I suddenly doubt myself? I don’t think so….I think my main issue is that I enjoy my privacy. By having my name on the work I submit…others who know me would see it. Some of the things I write are very personal, whereas other work that I do is say…from a characters perspective. I’ve had people say at times that I write a lot of sad poems, but I also write a lot of happy ones. The thing is that the sad poems I had shared with them were not about myself, so I felt comfortable letting people read them. Whereas the happy poems I’d been writing at the time were…embarrassingly personal. I doubt anyone else will have access to them for a very, very long time.
To think this has me up at midnight. I should be sleeping…but I haven’t been sleeping well. Normally I’m working on something at this hour…writing, drawing…. Not tonight. Tonight I’m thinking. Constantly thinking.
I really want to submit my work, but I’m unsure of what I should share. If I could I’d choose a poem that someone else had read and liked. It would make this process so much easier. If I could just find my story I wouldn’t have to deal with this. Then again I don’t know if it fits the requirements. I feel like it might fall into the category of genre fiction, which isn’t allowed. Then again…it wasn’t meant to fit a particular genre. I just wrote it. Honestly, it was completely out of genre for me. I’ve never written anything like it…and people really enjoyed it. They were surprised by it. Oh well…I’ll think of something. I mean, I could always try writing some new material, but the deadlines this week. I feel like it’d be better not to waste time.
I’d like to have the satisfaction of actually telling people my work has been published versus just talk about all the writing I do. It seems kind of pointless to go on and on about something, when you have nothing to show for it. I’ve been writing stories since I was a little kid. I’d like to be taken seriously. Yes, I write for fun but…I don’t just see my writing as a hobby. I want to be a published author someday. At the rate I’m going, hopefully I can say that very soon.