Nanowrimo

Since, I already finished writing my novel, I think I’ll continue with my editing during Nanowrimo. I’ve also been debating working on my other writing projects that I’ve temporarily put on hold due to…well…business.

I’m tired. I don’t like to admit it, but I am. I have three practices a week for two different things. One practice runs 7 hours. My legs are sore from training. I have placement in between two of my practices, and my only real free day is Sunday. Now I have to begin preparing for another assignment and I have a test this week. Probably tomorrow. I didn’t check. I still need to study. I wouldn’t say I’m under as much stress as I was last year but I’m definitely still busy. I enjoy the things I’m doing…mostly. Part of me just wants to graduate already. Some days I want time to slow down and others, I wish it would zip by. I’d love it if I could fast forward to the end of April. However…I’d still be training and practicing but I’d be doing something I enjoy.

I have so many things that I need to get done. I’m running a school club, going to rehearsals, training, studying, writing, editing…I’m supposed to be exercising outside of my training too. I have a practicum starting today so there’s that too. I’m just praying I get a good group. I want to be as helpful as I can.

Now I have a stomach ache…for some weird reason. Was it the apple I ate or the brownies? I shouldn’t eat brownies for breakfast. I know better. I need to go grocery shopping. Can people get stomach aches from being stressed? I should think about what I want to have for lunch later so that I don’t end up eating a whole bunch of junk. I’m thinking I’ll make burgers for dinner tonight. I like burgers.

I feel like I’m trying to juggle all of the different areas of my life. Responsibilities, hobbies, school, work. I always think back to what my dad told me, which is that a person doesn’t have to do just one thing. However, I know that because of what I’m doing I need to separate these things. I can do them all, and enjoy myself but because of one of my career paths, I need to be careful of the choices I make.

If I didn’t have class today I’d just sleep. Yesterday I forced my sister to tag along with me while I looked for new track pants. I never ended up buying any. They were all over priced. I got a good chicken souvlaki pita though. I really just needed to get out of the house. I felt like I wasn’t able to do anything for myself all week. I also realized that I’d be busy two weekends in a row this month and figured I might as well do something while I have the chance.

I’ve been missing out on fun stuff, like open mics and school events. It isn’t that I’m not having fun in my classes or at my practices…it’s just that…I don’t know. Like, I can’t even go home to visit my folks on the weekend anymore because I have to train on Saturdays. When I go home, I feel like I can relax and I don’t need to worry about anything at all. I’m free to lounge around the house, or go for a run or hang out with my friends.

The last time I hung out with my friends was in May. May. May. May….

Wow….

I guess it’s because I don’t have classes with my school friends. The only person I have to hang out with is my sister. Not that it’s a bad thing…we get along. It’s just kind of lonely. I miss sitting in the pub with my buds, eating mac n cheese and talking about stupid, pointless things. Stupid pointless conversations may not be worth repeating but they sure are good memories. I occasionally try to visit one of my friends at work. My other friends already graduated because they were a year older…and one of my closest friends dropped out and due to all the stuff they’ve been through since then I don’t think they’ll be coming back anytime soon. Things are just…weird.

I’ve actually wished that I had enough money so that I could pay my way through school and not have to worry about grades. Right now some of my classes are making me feel…kind of…blue. I guess I feel blue a lot these days, even though I try hard to be optimistic. It’s not even that I’m sad or depressed…it’s more that I just feel like if I could fall asleep for two days straight it would be awesome. I’ve had days were I’ve showered and dressed and I’m ready to go out and then decided I’d rather stay home and do nothing. I just change back into my pjs and go to sleep. I’ll lie in bed for hours.

I’ve tried setting earlier alarms, and waking up at the same time everyday. I’ve tried organizing my tasks. Maybe I just need a vacation?

Vacations are nice.

Well, I hope that Nanowrimo is going well for everyone. I’ll be doing my best. Exams are coming up very soon so I’ll probably be getting ready for that. Joy. So fun. I actually like exams just…thinking about marks right now is stressful. I’d rather pretend I’m not even in school right now…but what good will that do? Running away from things that seem stressful has never helped anyone.

Next time I’ll try not to whine some much,

–R.

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Working and working…and working

The break is officially over, and I’m back to work. Even though I worked during the break, I was spending my time doing the things I loved. Now, I do love certain aspects of the courses I’m taking, I’m just at a point where I feel as though I should be done. I know that’s not the case. I know that I need to do my best work, and push on through this semester and the next. My marks matter. This isn’t the time to be goofing around. Still, I do at times feel too relaxed. Perhaps it isn’t that I’m relaxed, but I’ve finally gotten the hang of things.

I’m already making plans for the end of the year. I see everything lining up. All of the hard work I’ve done is paying off.

My cousin recommended that I do all of my travelling and such now while I’m single, and not tied down to a fulltime job. There are a few places I’d like to go. It’d be cool to spend a month here or there. There’s so much to do and see. I doubt I’ll actually spend a month somewhere, but if I really enjoy my time there I might go back.

I really want to stay home today and sleep. Don’t worry I didn’t spend my weekend partying. I’ve been fighting off a stupid cold for about two weeks. I have a headache…again. One day I’m great and then next I just want to crawl under my covers and sleep for 12 hours. I hate when I sleep through the entire afternoon. I’m not going to let myself do that as often anymore. I finally fixed my sleep schedule. Class isn’t that long…I just…it’s cold outside and I don’t have a proper coat to wear at this time. That’s probably why I haven’t been feeling so great. Also…I’d just rather work on my novel. I know that sounds pretty bad but I have so many things I’m doing here at home that I don’t feel the need to go anywhere else. Except I do need to go pick up a book I ordered. I leave my house when it’s cold and travel across the city for books. Other things…nah.

I think I’m going to do some reading before I head to class. Maybe I’ll feel more awake when I’m finished.

What am I going to eat for lunch…?

noway

Yugi-Oh

its-not-u-its-me

 

“It’s okay friend. You have pizza pockets.”

Thank God…but I don’t think I have time to go home in between my classes.

“Then you will starve. This is why we don’t eat apples for breakfast.”

…You suck.

“Ha…what you say is what you are.”

Grr…

What just happened to my blog post?

–R.

Novel Update

I’ve got about four chapters left to edit. Yeah! I honestly would’ve finished last night if I didn’t look up at the clock and go, “Oh…it’s 1am.”

It’s going well. I’m very pleased with the results. I noticed most of the spelling errors occur in the last few chapters haha, probably because I got excited about being near the end and finished transferring them all in the same day. Still, despite that I’m really enjoying the story.

My next step after this is to make all the corrections on my laptop, and let others read it. Honestly, I’m having a lot of fun with this novel.

I also spent almost all of yesterday working on another project of mine. It’s a group project, and it’s great. I’m so happy with how it’s turning out.

Well, I’d like to get some stuff done before I go make myself some breakfast.

Till next time,

–R.

Red Balloon

Today as I was walking home from class, I spotted a red balloon tied to the sewer by my house. I wanted to take it home…but I realized I may become the victim of some horrifying early Halloween prank.

Living near a university campus means that this time of year people can get a bit…scary. The amount of pranks people pull, especially when they’re in their first year, is ridiculous. I’m not one for scaring random strangers and chasing them around wearing clown masks.

I still keep thinking about that balloon. I want it. Like…who just leaves a perfectly awesome balloon out in the cold like that?

Inktober

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I don’t usually share my drawings on here, but this is a really quick sketch I did of my niece sitting by the river. I know…that river looks great.

Last year I did themed character drawings for different months and holidays. I have one where I did a costume party, and what outfits my characters might where. It was really fun. Two of them dressed up as Mario and Luigi. I like to draw my character’s wearing shirts with aliens, or Nintendo characters. Depends on their personality. I like giving them wild hair colours too, like blue or fire truck red or green. I’ve just been doodling on my notes recently, so I don’t have many new drawings to show off haha…but I’ll work on some here and there.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day.

–R.

Novel Update

I finished. I finished the first round of editing, and transferred my novel from paper and pencil, to the lovely Times New Roman font on my laptop. It took a long time to type that up…from December 23rd, 2016 until October 13th, 2017.

My goal now is to do a complete read through of the hardcopy, which I printed off and stuffed into a binder I hijacked from my sister. I want to finish reading it all today. If I can do that, then that’s awesome. If not, that sucks but I’ll get it done. I’m in the last leg of the race here, I don’t want to start slacking off.

I was motivated to finish it, and I did. It felt so good watching it come out of the printer. Fresh ink. I ran out of paper twice. I didn’t care. I’m really pleased with myself. It’s been such a long time since I’ve actually completed one of my projects. I feel like I’ll have finally broken the pattern that began back in high school, with this novel. I’m going to finish the things I start from now on. There’s no reason for me to put things off.

Well…I’d better start reading. I haven’t eaten anything yet today and I barely slept last night but I don’t care. I’m so pumped. I did jumping jacks while this baby was printing. I’d kiss it but I don’t wanna be creepy.

My folks already find it weird that I carried the rough draft around with me and clutched onto it…and yelled at people for tossing my bag around whenever it was in there…and all the barking and hissing I did whenever anyone went into my room and moved my stuff….

Anyway, I’m going to get to work…and I’ll have a snack or something too. Ha…that’s probably a good idea.

Till next time,

–R.

(The following didn’t post for some reason…I apologize).


I’ve now edited several chapters…I believe 11. So I’m getting there. Since schools gotten really busy for me, I’ve set my goal to have the entire thing edited by the end of next week. I have no classes next week, so I’ll have lots of time to read and edit.

–R.

Power Outage

So the power was out for a couple of hours. Thought it’d be out all night. My plans to order in a pizza failed since it seems like all the pizza places have closed down for the night. Bummer. Guess I’m cooking…I think I may have a flu bug. I was starting to feel better yesterday, and then today…yuck.

I still have a bit of homework to finish…cutting and pasting and what not. Plus the written portion. Yep. A bit of work but I estimate that it won’t take me any longer than 30 minutes. I’ll be glad when I’m finally finished though. All I want to do right now is wrap myself up in my blankets with a warm drink, and read till I fall asleep. I don’t even know how I have energy right now…I feel awful. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. I should’ve just listened to my Dad and went to the clinic. This is why we listen to our parents kids. They know what’s, what.

…This is also why we don’t leave our assignments until the night before. I’m really having a rough time here. I hope this week goes well. Things just seem seriously out of whack lately.

–R.

Novel Update

I’m nearly finished. I’m so happy. When I reached a certain passage in my novel I was like, “Whoa…it’s at the end. It’s happening.” I’m kind of hoping I can push myself a little to stay up and just breeze through those last two or three chapters. I’m ready to print this baby off and do my full read through.

My goal is to have it read in a single day, that way I can edit and make notes…see if everything adds up properly and I don’t have any loose ends. I did my best when typing it up to fill in any gaps, and tried to keep the writing style consistent throughout.

I can definitely say that there are areas where the writing is a lot stronger…some points where I experimented a little bit stylistically and it either was fantastic or I had to rewrite the entire paragraph. Overall I’m pleased with how things are going. I’m just pushed myself to sit down and type this morning because I know that I’m going to be a little busier now. Yah…I know I’ve got a bit of a cold or whatever and I haven’t been feeling so great…but I’m gonna stay up and write. I don’t have any classes tomorrow or any sort of serious things that I have to do so I can sacrifice a few hours of sleep. I’d be up reading anyways. I mean…I read myself to sleep every night.

Well I’d better get started.

Till next time,

–R.

Exercise and Meal Planning

Since moving into my apartment, I’ve been trying to plan my meals ahead of time. In September I made a menu where I wrote out different dinner ideas for the week. I chose to do meals that could easily be alternated with one another because I know that there are days when I just don’t feel like eating certain things. I’ve only been doing this with my dinners so far because honestly I tend to do whatever during lunch. Usually I just make a sandwich or something simple.

So far I’ve made chicken stir fry, homemade pizzas, roast, turkey…just things like that. Unfortunately beef has been really expensive recently…and I’m on a tight budget. Today I’m going to have hamburgers. They’re kind of my back up foods…stuff that I can cook right away or heat up are for my busier days. That way when I get home after a long day I’m not tempted to order in.

Since Canadian Thanksgiving is this weekend I didn’t bother picking up a ton of groceries. If I’m lucky there will be some leftovers for me to take back on Sunday. Before I go back to school my parents usually prepare a bunch of chilli, curried chicken and stuff like that and then I freeze it. It usually lasts me a little more than a semester. Unfortunately they forgot…and I forgot. So I don’t get to eat any of my Mom’s awesome chilli or curry until I go home for reading break. It’s a bummer. It picks up my spirits whenever I eat a nice home cooked meal prepared by my folks. My Dad’s the best cook though. He used to run a restaurant when I was really young but had to give it up cause he was working there, the hospital, going to night school and had three kids, two of which were between ages 0-2. I don’t know how he managed to do all of that. He’s a hardworking guy. I’m honestly really proud of him and my mom. They go way out of their way to help me out sometimes. I’d be lost without them. Sometimes when I’m cooking and I forget how to prepare something or I’m having oven anxiety…it’s a long story…then I call them up and annoy them. I feel like I’m probably the neediest kid. My siblings call me a suck up. It’s true, I’ll admit it. I kiss butt big time, but everything I say is genuine. I just feel like a good way to show people you care about them and appreciate them is by complimenting them and saying thank you. Everyone wants to hear something nice once in a while. Or at least I do….

Anyway, my original goal when creating this menu was to try to improve my diet and stop eating out as much. So far it is working. Yes, I have ordered the odd pizza here and there but not every single week. Now I just need to implement the exercise half.

See, over the summer I tried to work out three to five times a week, even if I could only do like 10-30 minutes. I managed to gain a lot of upper body strength, and was able to take off some weight. I was also taking lunches into work. I want to be in good shape again. My last three years of university I was stressed out over several different things, and last year…was a mess. I want my final year of my undergraduate to go smoothly, and I feel like the best way to get myself started is by getting my body back into shape. Whenever I talk about exercising with my friends they give me weird looks. I’m a normal weight for my height and age so they just assume because I look a certain way that I don’t need to work out. For me it isn’t just about losing weight. It’s about being strong and healthy both physically and mentally. Back when I was playing soccer my head was clear, I was fit and strong and felt like I could do anything. I was never afraid I might, “hurt” myself when climbing trees or goofing off with my buds (you can laugh at the Canadian now). In April I never would’ve attempted to lift heavy stones or carry anything that looked like it could crush me. Since I’ve been doing my own little training, strengthening my arms and what not, I just pick stuff up. It doesn’t even bother me. I’m not longer afraid to give piggy backs to the kids I work with because I’m afraid I’ll drop them after a minute. I was back to having piggy back races, lugging around sleepy kindergarteners after recess and helping my Dad lay down stone in the yard. I’m feeling stronger and stronger every day. I want to continue to grow stronger, in every area of my life.

Anyway, I’m going to go start making my hamburgers. I think I’m going to cook an extra one because then I’ll have something for tomorrow or Wednesday’s lunch. I’m pretty hungry. I skipped out on lunch today because I…I just had a rough start today. Cut my entire leg up…went to the wrong location for my lab…found a dead bird…. Then my sister’s friend got me Starbucks. That was awesome of her. She barely even knows me. So now my days getting a little less…bleh and more woo! I describe…things weird sometimes. I promise, I don’t write “The sky was bleh but she felt woo!” in my novels. If I did that make for a pretty interesting read.

Well, until next time,

–R.

The Ramblings of an Over Tired Writer

I’ve been really tired lately…and I know that it’s probably my own fault. I don’t sleep. I crawl into bed at night, and I read. I don’t know when I end up going to bed most of the time. It’s pretty bad. I hate feeling tired.

I can’t keep my eyes open and I’m bleeding for some odd reason. Who knew such a small cut would gush out so much blood? It stings too. I felt like a baby trying to clean it out.

I want to go back to bed. I want to be a responsible adult. Decisions, decisions. If I go back to sleep who knows if I’ll be up and ready to go by twelve or eleven o’clock? Besides, I’m already dressed.

I honestly can’t fall asleep without reading these days. Even if I’m tired, I stay up and I read for an hour or two. If I don’t I just lie there and stare at walls, or memorize the patterns on my pillow case.

Writing about not sleeping is making me feel sleepy.

I really just want to stay home but I know if I do I’ll regret it. I’m that person who will think on a decision for hours upon hours. That’s probably why I’m always lying in bed thinking. Sometimes I just end up in a mood where I don’t really feel like doing anything at all. Then I’ll sleep for half the day and later beat myself up for wasting time.

Last night before falling asleep I was thinking about how great it would be if I never got tired, and I could just be awake all the time. I’d get so many things done. I seem to always want to do everything around 8pm. You’d think I’d learn that it’s easier to work during the day time.

Maybe I will go back to bed for an hour? At this rate I really don’t feel like running around trying to get stuff done before my lab. Not to mention I can’t really keep my eyes open. I need to fix my sleep schedule. I really need  set bedtime. I have morning classes. I’ll need to be in class at 9am for the rest of the week. Thank goodness I don’t have many classes this semester.

I think I’m just burnt out after working two jobs all summer and from last school years mess of events…. I was beyond stressed. I don’t know how I got through all of that. I guess being stupidly optimistic about things is a good trait…always trying to see the bright side of every situation. Still…I can’t help but feel that all traits have binaries. There’s a good and bad side to everything. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately when creating characters. I realize that the their strengths are  also their flaws. For example, say there’s a character named Alfonse…just because I wanna give them a name…anyway Alfonse is a very passionate and dedicated person. Although those sound like good traits, they can also be bad. Sometimes passion drives us to do things that we later regret…and sometimes we dedicate ourselves to things that in reality weren’t worth all of the blood, sweat and tears we put into it. Optimistic people are always trying to keep things bright and full of energy but when it isn’t good to always turn a blind eye to your current situation. Sometimes we are given certain challenges so that we can grow. If you keep avoiding everything, or sugar-coating your situation, you won’t grow and it will slowly become something that you’re unable to control. People who are empathetic, tend to carry too much on their shoulders. They’re constantly trying to fix things while they fall apart themselves.

I don’t really know how I went from talking about sleep to my strange thought process…but these are the types of things that pop into my head whenever I try to fall asleep. Even now, before I close my laptop and throw a blanket over my head, I’ll probably end up thinking “Why did I go back to sleep? I could’ve finished all of this stuff by now. Why did I waste all this time? I hate when I do this….” I’m glad I don’t take any medication to help me sleep. I’m a light sleeper…but I love to dream…that is when I do sleep. Dreams are interesting. I guess if I’m dreaming then I am awake even when I’m asleep. I see things. I go places. I get a lot done. Sometimes I’m sad when I wake up from a good dream. It’s like you live this different life and then BAM, you’re back in reality.