“Cough, Cough, Cough, HICCUP! Ow….”

I’ve lost a ton of sleep recently due to this stupid cough. To make matters worse, I had the hiccups the over night…and one doesn’t know pain until they’ve hiccuped and coughed at the same time. I feel like I’ve been doing some serious ab workouts for the last 24 hours.

I tried to take a nap earlier today to catch up on some sleep but I kept coughing…so instead I had left over turkey and stuffing and have been watching cartoons. I made some tea…it’s kind of helping to sooth my throat. I’ve also been sucking on those Fisherman’s Friend lozenges. My Dad had a ton at home so my Mom gave me them to take back to my place.

I can’t wait to move out of here. Only a few things left to pack. I can’t believe it’s over…four years went by pretty quick. I guess it was the same with high school. It all kind of zips by and the next thing you know you’ve gotta find a real job so that you can pay your bills.

I wish this stupid cough would go away. I really wanna be able to get a good nights rest. I didn’t fall asleep until 1 am last night…and even then I kept waking up coughing. Not to mention I have a group project that involves me talking to do and my voice keeps coming and going as it pleases.

As for my writing and stuff, as soon as my exams are finished I’m back to work. I’ve taken too long of a break from my projects. There’s a lot I want to do. I feel like I can write some stuff out a lot better now that I’ve experienced more…I mean at least the stuff I’ve experienced in my 22 years of life. I’ve only really been an “adult” for a little while. I’ve still got my training wheels on…I probably will until after I have kids. Honestly I don’t think being an adult gets any easier, parents probably just get really good at faking that they’ve got everything under control. That’s my theory.

Yep…until exams are done I’ll probably do more drawing. It’s relaxing…and honestly it’s just a nice way to unwind after a long day. To draw…ink and colour while listening to some of my favourite tunes…it always puts me in the best mood.

Anyway I can’t stop coughing so I’m gonna end this post here…and pray that I feel better soon. This really hurts….

–R.

“Play is just as important as reading a good book.”

As someone who works with children, it irritates me when I hear adults say things like, “A child couldn’t understand this.” Especially when it comes to books. I have always been an avid reader. I read comedies, tragedies, histories, whatever there was to be read I would read it. Happy or sad, it didn’t matter as long as it was well written. The words resonated me, and even if there were some words that I didn’t fully understand, the feelings stayed with me. Children are very empathetic. They are capable of understanding emotions, and are able to place themselves into other people’s positions quite easily.

I think the reason for this is because children play pretend. When we play pretend we enter into a life that is not our own. It’s a lot like reading a book, honestly. Only adults think that books are more sophisticated and, grown up. I’ve always felt it was the same thing. Writing, and playing. What do actors do? They play at being someone else. Writers imagine many lives, and feel many emotions, think many thoughts. Is this not what children do when they play pretend?

I have played games with my five-year old niece. In one of her games the king died. I was surprised while watching this little girl play as the queen, who was saddened by her husbands passing. The queen was too upset to leave her bed. She was lonely. If a five year old, can understand this without having any idea of what death really means, then why do adults think children are incapable of understand the notion of death?

My niece knows that when someone dies we don’t see them anymore. This is all she knows, and yet, this little girl can take the scenario of not seeing a person you love anymore, and associate it with loneliness. How does one feel when they are lonely? Sad? Depressed?

Even in some of my classrooms I have read aloud to my students and listened to them rant about how rude the characters are in the story. I’ve had children say, “They need a spank on the butt!” My niece will say it as well, when I read her Cat in the Hat.

Children are not given enough credit. They are observant and their world is complex, much like our own. A child’s world is much like a puzzle. They slowly put the pieces together as they grow. The figure out where things belong over time. They are not incompetent. Children are extremely capable of grasping tough subjects such as war, and death, and loneliness. Do not underestimate a child’s abilities. Play is just as important as reading a good book.

–R.

I’m disgusted with the fact that I spent my childhood learning about world peace and the importance of being kind to one another, because as I grew up I reality decided to slap me in the face. It’s disgusting… all of this violence is just disgusting. It makes me want to puke.

— R.


Rough…

These last few days have been pretty rough. Today I had an exam and there have been a lot of personal family issues going on….

It’s just been rough. I usually bottle everything up inside. I’m a person who keeps to themselves when it comes to stuff like this. Especially with family situations, I feel like I suddenly need to act tough and compose my emotions around others. I realized this after my grandmother passed away. I never knew that I had this strong side to me. I’ve always been the cry baby out of my siblings…I mean I got teary eyed while watching How to Train Your Dragon (haven’t watched it since due to being laughed at). I’m surprised at my own ability to suddenly take on a different role. At times where I myself might be feeling upset and scared, I automatically smile, laugh and go on like everything is perfectly fine so that when those around me need someone strong to hold them up, I can be there for them. I’m not sure if this is exactly healthy…but I do it. I do it all of the time despite how I’m feeling.

Sometimes stuff happens in life that just kicks you in the gut and all you can do is ignore the pain and keep on pushing because the world keeps spinning. Time won’t stop because you’re faced with something that seems impossible…and heart wrenching…and completely out of your control. Life goes on and on and on and that’s it.

I hope I can make it through the rest of this week without completely breaking down. If I’m going to punch my pillow and blast music into my ears then I’d rather do that at home than while I’m here at school.

I hope the sun’s out tomorrow morning…just for a little while. I look forward to seeing the sunshine pouring into my windows.

I can’t stand being in the dark right now…all this grey and black and gloominess isn’t doing me any good. I really don’t want to be away from my family right now. Honestly I want to go home. I know I’m only here for a few days and then I get to be with my folks till September but I’m one of those people who needs to be around their family when stuff is bothering me.

Sorry for making another emo-ish post. I’ve been writing some pretty gloomy stuff lately. I seem to write happier things when I’m collaborating with my sister. She’s a funny kid.

How do you push through rough times?