Good News

So yesterday I received  news that I got the job I’d applied for…but not only did I get the job, they gave me a position higher than the one I’d applied for because of the references I gave them.

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I’m really excited for the training and the experience. I know that this is going to be a great opportunity for me, and will benefit me in the near future.

I also managed to add in a scene to my novel that I’d been trying to work out in my head for a couple of weeks now. It took a while but I got it to fit. I also managed to get some really good feedback on it, and edited it accordingly. I really enjoyed the scene honestly. I think it’s pretty intense, and adds more perspective to the situation at hand. Before, the situation didn’t seem as urgent but now it’s like “Oh no! We gotta do something!”

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Yah, I’m feeling pretty blessed right now. Things were pretty rough a while back and in merely a couple of hours all that stress just disappeared. Soon, I’ll be going on a trip to the city, where I’ll be…doing a lot of nerdy stuff, but hey it’s my thing. Some people collect wine, some people are sports fanatics…I like cartoons and anime.

If you like anime or you just like more action thriller type shows I recommend 91 Days. It’s seriously underrated and I’m definitely going to watch it again.

Anyway, I’m supposed to be editing write now but I’ve had a pretty bad headache since yesterday so I think I’m gonna go back to bed for a little bit. Maybe a half hour or so…cause right now despite being in a great mood my body is telling me I need to take it easy. Maybe I can convince my sister to go for a walk later. A bit of fresh air might help. I have a ton of stuff to get done today though…regarding my new job that is. I’ll have it done this afternoon…just have to set up my scanner and what not. I know it’s out of ink though. My printer/scanner is stupid. If it runs out of ink…say it runs out of the yellow one? I can’t print in black and white. I can’t print at all. I can’t scan either. Scanning an image onto my computer has NOTHING to do with printing and using ink. I never said, “Scan and photocopy.” It’s seriously getting on my nerves. I really don’t want to spend anymore money. It was hard enough trying to save up for this trip…never lend people money. It’s nice to help people and all…but I really don’t think I’m going to lend money to anyone again…especially not family. For some reason family members like to take advantage of your kindness…and abuse it more than friends do. Most of the friends I’ve had who tried to abuse my kindness…we aren’t friends anymore. The moment I stopped being nice, they got upset. Oh well. Anyway, don’t lend people money, and don’t get mad if they don’t in a months time because they obviously never had any intention of giving you your money back. Just…trust me.

Yah…I need to curl up into a ball and sleep for a bit. I considered having a light breakfast but I don’t even want to get off my butt. I hate sleeping in. I feel like I’ve wasted so much of the day when I do…but I really need to lay down.

Till next time,

–R.

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You Feel Me?: Conveying Emotion in My Work

At the moment, I am currently working on an essay.

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“Where did all this homework come from!” (Image from Golden Time).

 

Fun right? Well, the information I’m gathering is kind of interesting. I also think my topic and thesis are cool…so that’s a start.

I did update my novel the other day with a really humorous chapter. I don’t think I’ve ever actually laughed that much while writing. I don’t know if it was because it was late at night and I was tired, or because it was actually funny. I’d like to think it was actually funny. I’ll find out when I edit later.

Whenever I actually feel what I’m putting down, I know that I’ll be satisfied with the final product. That’s why I don’t like to write about things I don’t know about…it isn’t that I refuse to do so, but I feel like it isn’t genuine and I don’t like to force emotion into my writing. I want the emotion to be real. If I’m not feeling anything, then I don’t think it is worth keeping. It took me a lot of trial and error when writing romance between characters when I first started.

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(Quote from 2D-Kun. Golden Time).

 

I know that there are some twelve and thirteen year olds out there who are in relationships, and claim to know everything there is to know about love. I wasn’t one of those kids. I’m not afraid to admit to it. I had people I liked, but I’d never dated anyone. My first experience with heartbreak was when I was sixteen…and it wasn’t because I was dumped.

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“Boo hoo! My heart hath been broken!” (Found on Google).

 

I wasn’t in a relationship at all.

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“Stop. Get some help.” (Image From Golden Time).

It was that experience that opened my eyes to this flaw in my writing. I stopped trying to write about those types of intimate relationships, because I finally had some understanding of how they actually worked. Instead I wrote what I knew. I knew about liking someone, but not wanting to ruin my friendship with them. I knew what heartbreak felt like, and realized that I am capable of jealousy…an emotion I hadn’t truly felt before to that degree. When I started to write the things I knew, I was actually feeling the emotion in my words.

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I didn’t have to pull a rabbit out of a hat to write about these things because I understood the feelings I wanted to convey. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to write about different aspects of relationships. Either things I’ve experienced, or that people close to me have gone through. Sometimes, I’ll admit, using another persons experience is difficult but it is still better than trying to conjure up some plastic emotion that you have no clue what to do with.

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Boo from Monsters Inc.

 

Just because you write fiction doesn’t mean that you can’t be honest.

 

Anyway, I’d better get going. I still have a few more articles to look at.

Till next time,

–R.

Letters to Myself

I just started watching a new show called Orange. It’s under the 2016 Summer Anime list, if anyone is wonder. It got me thinking about this project I did back when I was 16, where we had to write a letter addressed to our past selves. I can remember giving my 13 year old self a huge lecture on how I should have been more out going and less occupied with what others thought about me. At 16, I thought that I knew everything. My parents still say that I think I know everything, and that I enjoy correcting people (mostly my mother). My mom thinks I’m egotistical due to the fact that I’m a musician. I couldn’t deny it because there are days when I spend hours just looking at myself…and I do take a lot of selfies (I don’t share them anywhere).

To be honest I think what happened was, after being a moody 13 year old with a low self-esteem, I went to high school and decided I no longer cared if I wasn’t with the in-crowd. As you can see, I’m no longer ashamed to admit that I watch anime. One of my closest childhood friends from when I was 3 or 4 was from Japan, and so they used to buy me animes on VHS. No I don’t call myself an otaku. Yes I also read manga, but I enjoy comics in general (Archie anyone? Gotta love Jughead). So basically, to get back on topic, I realized that just because my hobbies have always consisted of writing, watching anime and music didn’t mean that I had to hide it from people. I figured, if people liked me for who I was then that was great. It was stupid trying to lie about what shows I watched and what sports I liked when I wasn’t really into any of that. While all my friends played football (American), I was more interested in pretending I was a Jedi knight…or petting the stray cat that liked to visit us at recess.

So I suppose my 16 year old self had a reason to be so harsh towards my 13 year old self. The thing is, looking back now, being 13 and 16 was equally stressful and I went through experiences that…well at the time made me feel like the sky was falling. Now that I’m considered an adult (who drinks mountain dew instead of beer and uses a starwars cup while using the worlds best Spiderman bookmark), I think I can say that I’ve realized that each part of my life is a new challenge. It seems hard at the time but once I get over it, it feels like it was a breeze.

From my first time being extremely jealous to my first date. My first experience with death to my first time holding a new baby. From bad grades to bulking down. From writing an entire novel without chapters or page numbers to becoming more organized and actually planning things out. The big and the small, all molded me into the somewhat adult I am today…although all the 16 year olds I work with think I’m the same age.

So, I’m not sure what I would say to myself at ages 13 or 16…or even to myself ten years from now when I’m 30. Wow…I’ll be 30 some day. Hopefully I have my life in order by then. To be honest I feel like I got myself where I need to be now. I try not to lie awake at night regretting the decisions I’ve made in the past. I try not to ponder the future too much either these days. Kind of makes me feel a little down…knowing that certain people won’t be with me anymore. All I can do is keep going forward. If YOLO taught me anything in high school it was that I should spend more time laughing and less time fighting. I should make time for friends and family. I should go into a career that I know I will love and will give me the most fulfilment. I shouldn’t jump the gun on decisions, and I shouldn’t put them off too long either. I shouldn’t think too much, and I should know when to take the time to think. I should step outside of my comfort zone, and I shouldn’t be afraid to stand my ground. If this were a letter to my past self or the person I’ll be when I’m 30…I’d probably say “You’re doing great. Just remember right now is a challenge but once you get over this hill, you’ll find the next will be a little easier to climb.”

— R

Quick Writing Update and…Reading Week YES!

Whoa, I just got a whole ton of work done in the last four hours. That honestly makes me feel amazing…however now that I’m finished I don’t know what else to do.

I guess I’d better go look over my other work and see what I want to place into my portfolio for Friday. I’ve been picking and choosing…kind of going back and forth on a couple of pieces. I’m almost thinking I’ll write something new or type up some of the raw stuff I’ve got scribbled all over my note books. We shall see.

Thank God reading break is next week. I feel like today is Friday and I’m ready to just crawl into bed and watch anime, Murdoch Mysteries and Fresh Off the Boat. Too bad I don’t have cable…but my parents have cable. It’s funny, during reading week you’re supposed to read and get lots of work done but every time my friends and I come back we’re all like, “Oh gosh I have so much homework to do. I did absolutely nothing over the break!” Not this time. This time I’m going to buckle down and read the novels I’ve been assigned for the first (maybe even second) week back and I’m going to do a lot of writing…try and experiment with different types of poetry like I used to do back in high school. I am going to do stuff other than catch up on T.V., sleep and eat delicious home cooked meals. I’m also going to exercise because…I keep trying to go to the gym but then I make up excuses. For example, “It’s too late. I’m too full. Too crowded today. I just want to sleep.” anyone else relate?

Feels good to get work done. It feels good to progress…also feels good to relax.

Reading week, I’m coming for you buddy.

Blabbering

The school year is grimly inching towards us–especially for those of us who have to pay for the own bills now– and I’m trying to psychologically prepare myself before I move into my first apartment…with actual roommates that I barely know.

It’s just weird. Like…whoa. I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like. It’s one of those things you just have to experience.

Like kissing. You’ll never know until you’ve kissed someone.

I still don’t know…unless being kissed by my three-year old niece counts? Maybe I’ll save my first kiss till marriage? That sounds like a challenge. I could probably do it too. I’m not a huge fan of physical affection.

Anyway! Back to whatever it was I was blabbering about. Oh yah, apartment.

So I don’t know what I need to live in my apartment other than food. Food is required for survival. Ha, ha…okay honestly, I don’t know if there is anything I need to purchase beforehand? I’m sure my parents have some idea of what I need but I don’t got a single clue Scooby Doo.

I just hope that this year I can master making friends and that I get along well with my roommates. I think that my job has seriously helped me overcome my shyness. In the past I’ve always had a hard time approaching people but now I seem to be able to make small talk with people who I barely know. I hope that I can apply this outside of my work environment. I’ve always wished I could become more social. Last year I was extremely lonely…like extremely. That is no way to spend your first year away from home. I had a lot of friends the first month of school and then they all got busy…or just didn’t care to get together after orientation week (oh well). At least I’m someone who enjoys being alone. Although it made it extremely hard for me to work on my novel because I was feeling unmotivated due to my lack of social interaction. This year my goal is to make some really good friends. I wanna meet cool, fun, smart people. People who like to be themselves and won’t judge me because I have cartoon characters on my socks… and who won’t assume I’m an otaku because I like manga and anime. My best friend growing up is from Japan. He lives in Japan. He got me stuff from Japan. I got into anime. I picked up a few words. That’s it. I’m not an otaku. I know that being an otaku is an insult. I ain’t stupid.

I don’t know why I went on about that. This post is pretty random. I’ll end things here just to prevent anymore weirdness.

Alright, bye for now!

— R.

P.S I know that blabbering isn’t a word but it totally should be.

Orion Dreams: Attack on Titan…

Have you ever heard of Attack on Titan?

I watched the show once last year with a friend, and had a dream last night that I was that guy Eren as a kid. In this dream, I was packing things to take from our house for my mother and sister, before the titans broke through the walls. Then I laid down on the couch in my house (where I live when I’m not at school) and shut my eyes, holding my old teddy bear that I’ve had since I was a baby.

When I woke up and saw a blue wall instead of a green one, and my heart started racing. I was lying as though I was holding my bear and I started feeling around for it. Then I realized it wasn’t there and began panicking even more, kind of like how I used to as a kid when I took it everywhere with me. Finally when I realized my bed sheets were the wrong colour, I sat up and looked around. That was when I came to the realization, “Oh yah…I’m not at home….titans aren’t real.”

It was scary…