Confidence, Caution and Publishing

Hola,

I haven’t blogged in a while because I was on vacation. I had taken advantage of being able to schedule blog posts before I left. I’m also recovering as I came down with a fever during my vacation.

So…I’m sort of battling with myself right now. I have the opportunity to have my work published in a collection, however, I’m not sure what it is I want to submit and if what I submit will be accepted. I also am uneasy about having my name on my work…as I always write using a penname. I guess I just don’t want people to judge me.

It has to be work I haven’t previously published…and I don’t know if what I have is honestly any good. I suppose I’m lacking confidence. I can only say that I’ve written two short stories that I’m actually satisfied with…and as for my poetry, I’ve been told it’s good. I find that it is sometimes very corny or very depressing though.

I’ve never really known myself to be so…insecure. I just don’t know how I feel about this. I don’t doubt that my work will be selected…it’s just that the work I choose to submit will have a reflection on me as a person, and that is what concerns me. I don’t always write about myself, especially when it comes to my poetry. More recently, yes, I have been writing more personal poems, however they are not under my real name. My nickname is R, yah, but only my family would recognize that.

Perhaps I’m over thinking this…I haven’t actually entered my work into anything since I graduated from high school. It’s been three years. I mean…I’m going to be publishing my novel soon. I’m going to have to publish my work eventually. I just feel…uneasy. I want to do it, but something is preventing me from making a move. Maybe I’m being too cautious?

–R.

Hi There!

Wow, it’s been a while. I’ve been pretty busy since my exams finished. I’ve barely used the internet. I’ve either been editing my novel, sketching, writing music or running around visiting relatives.

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Oct. 16th, 2016. O. Ryder

I suppose that taking a break from social media is alright. Being “connected” all of the time can be tiresome. Sometimes I prefer to be left alone. I don’t want people messaging me 24/7. It’s more fun actually having a face to face conversation in the flesh than sending a snapchat to my friends.

Writing Update: I’ve begun editing the first draft of my novel, and I am now working on the fourth and fifth chapter of the other novel that I’m working on. I like to continue writing during my editing process. I feel as though I need to remain productive, because whenever I have completed a project, I always think to myself, “Now what?” since back then I usually spent an entire year focusing solely on one thing at a time. This low-key multitasking is actually really nice. What I do is I create the structure for other projects, while I am writing others, and then once I’ve begun editing my main project I have other things to work on as well. This is so that when I have completed my main project I am already set up with another project. I’ve found this method effective, however I know that it isn’t full proof. Obviously ones main project could change partway through, however it is a good way to battle against things such as writers block.

 

Life Update: I won some money in the lottery. $22.00. I’m a rich kid now.

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Bear in the Big Blue House

 

I will blog again soon!

— R.

More Nanowrimo Updates

Last night I was up until 3 am writing. I honestly couldn’t stop. I must’ve spent the entire evening working. I guess not working on anything other than essays for a month let all my creativity and imagination build up. I haven’t been able to keep my hands away from a blank page all week. Its incredible.

So its 10 am now. I don’t really know how much sleep I got, nor do I really care. I’m a night owl and a rooster. Up all hours of the day if required. I enjoy sleeping, but whenever I sleep in I feel as though I’ve wasted my day.

The plan right now is to do some character designs, as I’ve finally fleshed out another group of characters.

I’ve got homework to get done today as well, so I’ll probably alternate between the two. Hopefully I don’t get absorbed into my writing and forget about the important work I need to do.

 

What is this Post?

I think I may have a cold, due to my serious lack of sleep and exercise in the last week. I’ve just had no time to catch up, and I keep waking up at weird hours in the morning.

I feel like I have to sneeze but can’t. My throats sore and I kind of feel like…a zombie. Like I feel like going “braaaaaains” but instead of eating brains I’m eating an apple…which is like the fruit of knowledge right? So basically the same thing.

I don’t know what I’m saying. Ha, ha! Okay bye for now.

— R.

3 Years on WordPress

So apparently I’ve had this blog for three years now. Wow…that’s pretty cool. I’d like to go back and read what was posted while I was finishing high school and compare it to the types of things I post now.

I know for a fact that a lot of my writing has changed since then…especially when it comes to how I format my work. A while back I came across some of my older work, which I’d like to share at some point as I was too shy to share it with anyone back in the day (saying that makes me feel old).

What’s cool is that today is also my little sisters birthday. She’s eighteen now. Wow. That’s weird. I started this blog when I was 18. Time sure flies by.

Happy Birthday Sis.

Love you,

–R.

Life Update

I apologize for not posting anything in such a long time. There has been a lot going on lately regarding my family, so since I’ve been home I haven’t done much more than a bit of quick poetry.

I’m finally getting back into the swing of things, however of course I’ll be working soon so that may throw me off a bit. Not too much though, if I push myself. Luckily my parents are around to shove a pencil into my hand whenever I’m lounging on the couch or drifting off into my head.

Anyway, there’s a lot going on at home right now so my posts might be all over the place for a little while until everything has settled down…if things settle down. Thankfully I’ve been in a fairly good mood. I’m just trying my best to stay positive and hope for the best.

As I mentioned before I’ve got some exciting news to share…but for now it’ll remain a secret. So shh! I’m a little worn out from everything that’s been going on so I’ll be heading off to bed for now.

Have a merry Monday everyone…and if you’re not a fan of Monday’s just pretend that it’s Thursday (you still have things to do the next morning, but you’re another day closer to the weekend).

— R.

Novel Update

On Saturday I got a lot of writing done and I was finally able to complete the chapter I’d been stuck on. I can’t even remember what had stumped me in the first place but I managed to continue where I had left off. Not once did I believe I had writers block and it’s my professor’s advice that helped with that.

My creative writing professor said that writers block does not actually exist until you begin believing in it. She explained that once you say something it comes to being. She told us that if we become stuck or we are struggling in a certain area of our work that we should simply work on something else. She explained that this was better than not writing at all because as long as someone is writing they are unable to say that they’ve got writers block.

Although I’m not fully sure about the mid-section, where I continued that chapter I am 100% satisfied with the way it ended. It allowed me to move certain characters into position for the climax as well as set up important events.

I thought sharing my professor’s words on writers block would be great because while I was stuck on that chapter, I’d been working on other projects, such as my class portfolio and not once did the idea of writers block pop into my head: I was always writing.

I will update again soon. I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend!

— R.

Quick Writing Update and…Reading Week YES!

Whoa, I just got a whole ton of work done in the last four hours. That honestly makes me feel amazing…however now that I’m finished I don’t know what else to do.

I guess I’d better go look over my other work and see what I want to place into my portfolio for Friday. I’ve been picking and choosing…kind of going back and forth on a couple of pieces. I’m almost thinking I’ll write something new or type up some of the raw stuff I’ve got scribbled all over my note books. We shall see.

Thank God reading break is next week. I feel like today is Friday and I’m ready to just crawl into bed and watch anime, Murdoch Mysteries and Fresh Off the Boat. Too bad I don’t have cable…but my parents have cable. It’s funny, during reading week you’re supposed to read and get lots of work done but every time my friends and I come back we’re all like, “Oh gosh I have so much homework to do. I did absolutely nothing over the break!” Not this time. This time I’m going to buckle down and read the novels I’ve been assigned for the first (maybe even second) week back and I’m going to do a lot of writing…try and experiment with different types of poetry like I used to do back in high school. I am going to do stuff other than catch up on T.V., sleep and eat delicious home cooked meals. I’m also going to exercise because…I keep trying to go to the gym but then I make up excuses. For example, “It’s too late. I’m too full. Too crowded today. I just want to sleep.” anyone else relate?

Feels good to get work done. It feels good to progress…also feels good to relax.

Reading week, I’m coming for you buddy.

I’m Alive!…Evil Machines of Evil?

Hello everyone, I am still alive. I was feeling under the weather. Got a bug or something…I don’t really know what was up with me? I’m feeling much better now. Still feeling the exhaustion but at least I don’t have a fever anymore.

Hooray!

I realized that it really sucks to be an adult because no one is there to nurse you back to health. If you’re sick, then all your friends tend to be sick at the same time and they’re all busy watching Netflix and drinking soup.

I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t watch Netflix. Someone needs to explain to me why it’s so glorious. What can I watch there that I can’t watch online somewhere?

I guess it would reduce the risk of viruses but what if Netflix got hacked and then everyone’s televisions, phones and computers were effected! Then they turned into evil machines of evil….

What…? Ha…evil machines of evil. That’s right, I writes bookseses…es…es?

My brain is still catching up with me. I don’t know what’s been going on in the last couple of weeks. Everything kind of just happened.

Hope everyone is feeling healthy and staying warm and cozy. Have a glorious weekend!

I will do my best to update once a week as usual. I was working on a huge homework assignment while I was all feverish and…wheezing. Still got another one to get done for this coming week. Lucky me! Yah….school. Great.

I’m sure I’ll survive.

— R.

 

P.S I do not actually think that Netflix is trying to enslave humanity. It’s just a theory. I do not need to be admitted into an institution. I apologize for that train of thought.

 

Friday Mornings with Ryder. “You Wanna Date?” ft. Orion.

“Alright. Puff up that chest. Keep that head up. Good, now make sure you’ve got your shirt on frontwards…we don’t want another one of those incidents. Good. Good.”

I blankly stared at myself in the mirror. “I didn’t sleep last night.”

“Forget sleep! Who needs sleep! This isn’t about you sleeping this is about you being confident and awesome and going out there and saying, ‘Why hello there’.”

I groaned. “Dude…can’t I just like not?”

“You wanna date?”

“Yes.”

“Then don’t be such a little–.”

“OH KAY! Sheesh…no need to be so hard on me. I’m still figuring this stuff out okay?”

“Well figure this stuff out faster Ryder! You’ve only got so much time!”

I dragged my feet back to bed. “Wake me up when the sun’s actually in the sky.”

“The sun waits for no man!”

“Yah…that’s why I’m waiting for the sun.” I sighed. Then I sighed again and rolled onto my back. Then I rolled onto my stomach again and propped my chin up. “I can’t sleep.”

“Love will do that to you.”

“I’m not in love. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I snapped.

They chuckled. “Then why were you so excited for Friday?”

“Because. I have lots of exciting things to do on Friday.”

“Like what, you don’t even go out for drinks in the evening like normal people. What is wrong with you? Who sits at home and watches cartoons until bed?”

“We do that Orion. We do that.”

“Yah well…I want to do something different this weekend! Let’s get ourselves a date!”

I rolled onto my back again. “I dunno bruh.”

“It’ll be FUN!”

“It’ll be fun…it’ll be fun. Go by yourself.”

“Why are you in denial? Stop denying your true feelings!” cried Orion.

I sighed. “Because I’m not going to let myself get caught up in my emotions and have my heart torn out again. Remember last time?”

“Last time was different. This time it’s for real!” Orion shouted, shaking me. “Doesn’t it feel different?”

“Remember how I felt like throwing up yesterday?”

“Yes?”

“Stop shaking me…my stomach feels gross.”

“Oh great! Getting all gross on the weekend! How could you! You planned this! You planned this Ryder! I’ll never forgive you!”

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“Hey Ryder, your alarms going off.”

“Hooray…” I moaned, pulling myself out of bed. “I’m going to blog now.”

“But…but YOU NEED TO PLAN FOR YOUR DATE!”

“I don’t have a date! Do you see me dating anyone!? NO! I’m going to blog like a respectable person and then I’m going to get dressed and blah, blah, blah, blah!”

Orion frowned. “Fine. Be that way…jerk.”


Enjoy your Friday folks.

I’ll be getting ready for class now…since I’ve got nothing better to do. I love my life.

Peace!

–R.