“Cough, Cough, Cough, HICCUP! Ow….”

I’ve lost a ton of sleep recently due to this stupid cough. To make matters worse, I had the hiccups the over night…and one doesn’t know pain until they’ve hiccuped and coughed at the same time. I feel like I’ve been doing some serious ab workouts for the last 24 hours.

I tried to take a nap earlier today to catch up on some sleep but I kept coughing…so instead I had left over turkey and stuffing and have been watching cartoons. I made some tea…it’s kind of helping to sooth my throat. I’ve also been sucking on those Fisherman’s Friend lozenges. My Dad had a ton at home so my Mom gave me them to take back to my place.

I can’t wait to move out of here. Only a few things left to pack. I can’t believe it’s over…four years went by pretty quick. I guess it was the same with high school. It all kind of zips by and the next thing you know you’ve gotta find a real job so that you can pay your bills.

I wish this stupid cough would go away. I really wanna be able to get a good nights rest. I didn’t fall asleep until 1 am last night…and even then I kept waking up coughing. Not to mention I have a group project that involves me talking to do and my voice keeps coming and going as it pleases.

As for my writing and stuff, as soon as my exams are finished I’m back to work. I’ve taken too long of a break from my projects. There’s a lot I want to do. I feel like I can write some stuff out a lot better now that I’ve experienced more…I mean at least the stuff I’ve experienced in my 22 years of life. I’ve only really been an “adult” for a little while. I’ve still got my training wheels on…I probably will until after I have kids. Honestly I don’t think being an adult gets any easier, parents probably just get really good at faking that they’ve got everything under control. That’s my theory.

Yep…until exams are done I’ll probably do more drawing. It’s relaxing…and honestly it’s just a nice way to unwind after a long day. To draw…ink and colour while listening to some of my favourite tunes…it always puts me in the best mood.

Anyway I can’t stop coughing so I’m gonna end this post here…and pray that I feel better soon. This really hurts….

–R.

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Hopes and Fears

In our lives there will always be hopes and fears popping in and out of our heads. Some nights they dance about as I try to shut my eyes and scatter about the room as I toss and turn, trying to settle my mind. When I wake up I’m in a daze before they come rushing back.

I try to wake up feeling excited versus anxious, about the things to come. I try not to think of the ever-growing list of things I need to do for the day and take my time getting ready. Still by the time I realize I’m running behind schedule, these hopes and fears are there waiting by the door. I try to keep them locked up but they must have figured out how to climb through the window.

No matter. I can always stick my headphones in and ignore them. The music will drown them out…although I do like the hopes very much, so I let them dance while I walk to the rhythm of the morning. They’re warm like the sun and brush gently across my skin. They make my heart pound heavily, but the heaviness is nice…it lets me know that I’m still alive and as I get lost in my hopes I pull out my phone and suddenly fear sinks its teeth into me.

Being late, not having things done, forgetting something back at home…all of the little fears that poke and pick at me throughout the day. Sometimes it’s easy to ignore them and other times I can’t. I think about kicking them, or stomping on them…but at the same time being so carefree isn’t always a good thing. Things need to get done. I have places I need to go, people I need to meet, work I need to finish…and the ever-growing list of little fears pushes me to get them done. My heart races when the fears start to slither about. They slip between my ankles, wrap around my throat…they nearly suffocate me…and yet I’m still alive.

My hopes  tug at me and my fears start to pull back. Both clawing at my arms and legs and face. I can’t seem to decide which way to go, so I sit in the grey…and I wait. I procrastinate. I pretend everything is nothing, and that nothing is everything. It’s a numb place to be, and very boring…there’s no music or colour. There are no hopes and no fears…so I let them back in and let the battle begin, until night-time comes again and I begin to dream.

A Comfortable Chill

I’m slightly cold…but I’m comfortable. It’s a comfortable chill.

My foot is falling asleep and my thoughts are swimming about like trout in a lake. My pillow tries to warm my body but because my shirt is so thin, the cold seeps through my back and into my skin. My breaths are cold too when they enter me but warm when I release them…and my lips are soft but dry. The spits cold too.

The cold is slithering within me…and I want it to stop moving about so I can feel warmth but I know the warmth will make my eyes heavy, and I’ll pray to sleep.

 

Ugh…I Have a Cold.

I’d like to apologise for not blogging as often in these last couple of weeks. I’m still getting over a cold and am trying to adjust to being back at school again. Yah, I’m so done with this cold. I’d like to go an entire day without coughing or sneezing…and I’d love to be able to actually breathe. Hopefully it’ll be gone tomorrow. I’m feeling a lot better today.

As for my writing, I’ve done a couple of songs and poems but I haven’t done work on my novel since my sketches. Researching for this is extremely important to me. I might force myself to put something on paper after my lecture today. I’d really like to get back to work…though I’ve got school work to do and that’s unfortunately more important than my own personal projects *sigh*.

Anyway, I will try and post more often once I’m feeling better…and hopefully I’ll have a novel update for you or a tip to share.

Well…here’s a life tip for you, if your hat still smells like campfire, find some loose change and toss it in the washing machine. If you don’t wear it, you’ll get a nasty cold and won’t want to do anything with your life until it goes away. Also, always be sure to have a box of tissues handy. Those things are actually really important…we really take tissues and toilet paper for granted. It’s only when you need them and they aren’t around that you realize how much you need them in your life.

The colours on …

The colours on my mug didn’t really turn out. Next time I’m going to use black.

This is where you insert the really sad violin music, which shall accompanied by a gentle, cool breeze blowing snow across the empty street, where young Ryder stands alone whispering, “Why?”