The Fall

the-fall

The Fall, O. Ryder. Sept 26th, 2016.

The Fall

By O. Ryder

I realized that I didn’t own a hairdryer when my sister’s wet towel brushed against my skin last night. It was cold. It soothed the pain in my bear arms but I moved it away, onto her lap. Whenever someone wore a towel on their head I imagined the Virgin Mary.

“It’s cold.”

She looked at me, big eyes glaring. “I just washed my hair.” Always glaring.

In that moment I felt stupid. Glaring eyes often made me feel as though I’d done something stupid.

Always glaring. Always stupid.

I felt uneasy as she pressed her back into my pillow. The olive green towel reminded me of my sweater: how it hung on her and how her gold strands clung to it as she rested against me.

I wasn’t attracted to blondes, I told myself. She was pretty but plain. I liked dark hair. I liked dark hair and warm eyes. No glaring. Never glaring.

My sister elbowed me. Woke me from my trance. Told me Dad wanted to talk.

My eyes left the green and my hands found the phone. I wondered why I had been in such a daze. Wet hair was soft, I thought. I haven’t worn that sweater in a long time.

I talked. He talked. He hung up.

Whenever we spoke lately he felt as though he was keeping me away from something. I just had trouble finding things to talk about. I wanted to hear warmth in his voice.

Everything died in the Fall. The plants, the insects, Granddad. Even some of the Angels died in the Fall.

Love blossomed in the Fall, but made me feel dead.

I was not fond of the weather. It was deceiving. Deceiving Canadian Fall.

The weather was as schizophrenic as our identity. Some said they felt it was bipolar…perhaps…perhaps.

Always glaring. Always falling. Always stupid. Always dead.

I wondered how anyone could rest their head in such a messy room. It smelt of burnt popcorn, wet towels and cologne.

And those golden strands had smelt like summer.

She was the Summer. I the Fall.

For once I had fallen, she had fled. As the warmth does when death comes.

She was Life. I Death.

Despite wishing, I represented the end.

“I love this sweater.” she said.

I said nothing.

She wrapped her fingers in mine. It felt uncomfortable.

“Wanna cuddle?”

I remembered the wet green towel. My sister was asking for the phone back. I placed it in her hand. I watched the television. You could get lost in the television. No thoughts. Always glaring. Always stupid. Always wishing.

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I Went On My First Date….

So…I went on my first date today and it was awesome and I still don’t know if this is real life and like I got a kiss on the cheek and like I’ve been smiling non-stop for weeks and I can’t stop and like yah….

I’m too happy to sleep….

— R

Friday Mornings with Ryder. “You Wanna Date?” ft. Orion.

“Alright. Puff up that chest. Keep that head up. Good, now make sure you’ve got your shirt on frontwards…we don’t want another one of those incidents. Good. Good.”

I blankly stared at myself in the mirror. “I didn’t sleep last night.”

“Forget sleep! Who needs sleep! This isn’t about you sleeping this is about you being confident and awesome and going out there and saying, ‘Why hello there’.”

I groaned. “Dude…can’t I just like not?”

“You wanna date?”

“Yes.”

“Then don’t be such a little–.”

“OH KAY! Sheesh…no need to be so hard on me. I’m still figuring this stuff out okay?”

“Well figure this stuff out faster Ryder! You’ve only got so much time!”

I dragged my feet back to bed. “Wake me up when the sun’s actually in the sky.”

“The sun waits for no man!”

“Yah…that’s why I’m waiting for the sun.” I sighed. Then I sighed again and rolled onto my back. Then I rolled onto my stomach again and propped my chin up. “I can’t sleep.”

“Love will do that to you.”

“I’m not in love. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I snapped.

They chuckled. “Then why were you so excited for Friday?”

“Because. I have lots of exciting things to do on Friday.”

“Like what, you don’t even go out for drinks in the evening like normal people. What is wrong with you? Who sits at home and watches cartoons until bed?”

“We do that Orion. We do that.”

“Yah well…I want to do something different this weekend! Let’s get ourselves a date!”

I rolled onto my back again. “I dunno bruh.”

“It’ll be FUN!”

“It’ll be fun…it’ll be fun. Go by yourself.”

“Why are you in denial? Stop denying your true feelings!” cried Orion.

I sighed. “Because I’m not going to let myself get caught up in my emotions and have my heart torn out again. Remember last time?”

“Last time was different. This time it’s for real!” Orion shouted, shaking me. “Doesn’t it feel different?”

“Remember how I felt like throwing up yesterday?”

“Yes?”

“Stop shaking me…my stomach feels gross.”

“Oh great! Getting all gross on the weekend! How could you! You planned this! You planned this Ryder! I’ll never forgive you!”

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“Hey Ryder, your alarms going off.”

“Hooray…” I moaned, pulling myself out of bed. “I’m going to blog now.”

“But…but YOU NEED TO PLAN FOR YOUR DATE!”

“I don’t have a date! Do you see me dating anyone!? NO! I’m going to blog like a respectable person and then I’m going to get dressed and blah, blah, blah, blah!”

Orion frowned. “Fine. Be that way…jerk.”


Enjoy your Friday folks.

I’ll be getting ready for class now…since I’ve got nothing better to do. I love my life.

Peace!

–R.

Novel Update: And Off Topic Ramblings

Hello everyone! I hope that you’ve all been having an excellent week so far.

I got a lot of writing down the other day. The story is moving along quite nicely. I feel as though the transitions have been smooth so far…but of course I’ll know for sure once I begin editing.

…Okay this is off topic but I just gotta warn people…don’t do sit ups after you eat. I now have a really bad stomach ache.

Back on topic (ouch!), I find that writing about things such as love and romance in my novels is tough for me. I mean…I’m more of a fiction, sci-fi, historical, adventure kinda writer… I just have romance as a subplot because…well I like my characters to be as close to human as possible, you know? Thing is, I’ve never dated. I’ve never kissed anyone. I’m 19 years old okay? I don’t need to be rushing into anything. That whole high school dating thing never really got to me… my only “kiss” was on the cheek and the only time I was close to dating someone I was to chicken to make a move so I lost a good friend and a potential date. Woo! Way to go R!

As my sister would say, “You darn messed up!”

So…I had to write some romantic scenes and boy did I blush. I don’t know why, but I get really emotionally attached to my characters. I literally had to remember how I felt at age 14 when I got kissed on the cheek by my best friend…and crush at the time. It was awkward. I elbowed them in the face…. Yah…. That’s probably why I haven’t been kissed by anyone since. Maybe they all have a secret club or something where they’re like “R elbows people in the face! Don’t kiss them!”

Maybe if you didn’t sneak up on me, I wouldn’t have elbowed you? Ever think about that?

Anyways I spend enough time watching chick-flicks and Say Yes to the Dress and all that other junk. I really don’t mind it but it bothers me how all of these people are so focused on this ONE DAY. It’s not the wedding that’s important it is the life that you and your significant other will have together. I don’t understand why people can’t grasp that? It’s probably one of the big reasons why people are having issues in their marriages. They wanna go back to that “special day” when really every day should be special because you’re together, working as a team.

Well…that was off topic. It’s wedding season, and I’m planning a fictional wedding between two characters. I guess it’s not that off topic.

So, I got some writing done. Survived the two little romance scenes. I don’t know how well I’m going to create a fictional romance when I haven’t had a real romantic relationship. I’m doing my best.

Happy writing to you all! Enjoy the weather this weekend

I’ll be working…every day. Gotta pay for school somehow right? Man…education shouldn’t be this expensive. I should be able to pay for every year of school easily after working 3-4 months in the summer. It’s ridiculous.