I’ve recently been trying to get back into shape. My backs been pretty sore from the types of exercises I was doing…or from the move I’m not sure. I just wish I had more will power when it came to sweets.
My sister suggested I eat away my problems. I’m actually considering it right now. I haven’t had anything to eat all day…eating a bag of chocolate covered gummibears sounds pretty good right now.
Saturday night was awesome. Although we didn’t have as many people turn up to the event as planned, the music was great and everyone had a fun time.
I know that I will definitely be checking out some of the bands after last night. There was a good variety of music. Punk, Alt’, Indie, Country. A little something for everyone, which was great. I’ve got to say checking people’s I.D. was a fun, but very cold. Glad I wasn’t the actual bouncer though. There were some characters who has a little too much to drink…and had to leave.
It was great how the bands got the audience dancing and jumping around.
After it all, my sister and I were really hungry so we order pizza around 1:30 before they closed. I made sure to apologize and tip the guy, cause I’ve worked in the food industry. I understand. I still feel pretty bad…but we were hungry and well…pizza and wings were calling my name.
Now, I have to turn my attention to the many assignments I have due…oh this is gonna be a fun week.
Till next time,
I managed to get in a little editing the other night. Was up past midnight typing. It was fun. I wish I’d done some more today, but instead I decided to be lazy and lay about. I did do some reading, but it wasn’t exactly productive, as it wasn’t for school. At least I enjoyed myself. I cooked up a steak for dinner tonight. Had a nice salad with it. I’m trying to eat better. More preparing meals at home, and less ordering pizza. Hopefully I’ll hit the gym more often as well. I think my laziness is linked to some other things…and not being as active as I used to be is probably contributing to it.
Well, the editing is really coming along. I’m pleased with it so far, though I wish I would do larger chunks of it…increase my one or two chapters a day to four or five. I type and read quite fast, so if I really wanted I could finish transferring it all in a couple of days. Thing is I’ve been feeling a big sluggish so I’m taking my precious time. I don’t know, maybe this is just a temporary thing? I feel a bit lazy now but I’ll be energetic and ready to work in a couple of days.
Anyway, I’m going to start settling down for the night. Seems, my sleep schedule is slightly back on track. No more staying up till three in the morning. I’ll try to get some more editing in tomorrow evening. I’ve got to get strict with myself again before more school assignments pop up.
Till next time,
By O. Ryder
I realized that I didn’t own a hairdryer when my sister’s wet towel brushed against my skin last night. It was cold. It soothed the pain in my bear arms but I moved it away, onto her lap. Whenever someone wore a towel on their head I imagined the Virgin Mary.
She looked at me, big eyes glaring. “I just washed my hair.” Always glaring.
In that moment I felt stupid. Glaring eyes often made me feel as though I’d done something stupid.
Always glaring. Always stupid.
I felt uneasy as she pressed her back into my pillow. The olive green towel reminded me of my sweater: how it hung on her and how her gold strands clung to it as she rested against me.
I wasn’t attracted to blondes, I told myself. She was pretty but plain. I liked dark hair. I liked dark hair and warm eyes. No glaring. Never glaring.
My sister elbowed me. Woke me from my trance. Told me Dad wanted to talk.
My eyes left the green and my hands found the phone. I wondered why I had been in such a daze. Wet hair was soft, I thought. I haven’t worn that sweater in a long time.
I talked. He talked. He hung up.
Whenever we spoke lately he felt as though he was keeping me away from something. I just had trouble finding things to talk about. I wanted to hear warmth in his voice.
Everything died in the Fall. The plants, the insects, Granddad. Even some of the Angels died in the Fall.
Love blossomed in the Fall, but made me feel dead.
I was not fond of the weather. It was deceiving. Deceiving Canadian Fall.
The weather was as schizophrenic as our identity. Some said they felt it was bipolar…perhaps…perhaps.
Always glaring. Always falling. Always stupid. Always dead.
I wondered how anyone could rest their head in such a messy room. It smelt of burnt popcorn, wet towels and cologne.
And those golden strands had smelt like summer.
She was the Summer. I the Fall.
For once I had fallen, she had fled. As the warmth does when death comes.
She was Life. I Death.
Despite wishing, I represented the end.
“I love this sweater.” she said.
I said nothing.
She wrapped her fingers in mine. It felt uncomfortable.
I remembered the wet green towel. My sister was asking for the phone back. I placed it in her hand. I watched the television. You could get lost in the television. No thoughts. Always glaring. Always stupid. Always wishing.
I just started watching a new show called Orange. It’s under the 2016 Summer Anime list, if anyone is wonder. It got me thinking about this project I did back when I was 16, where we had to write a letter addressed to our past selves. I can remember giving my 13 year old self a huge lecture on how I should have been more out going and less occupied with what others thought about me. At 16, I thought that I knew everything. My parents still say that I think I know everything, and that I enjoy correcting people (mostly my mother). My mom thinks I’m egotistical due to the fact that I’m a musician. I couldn’t deny it because there are days when I spend hours just looking at myself…and I do take a lot of selfies (I don’t share them anywhere).
To be honest I think what happened was, after being a moody 13 year old with a low self-esteem, I went to high school and decided I no longer cared if I wasn’t with the in-crowd. As you can see, I’m no longer ashamed to admit that I watch anime. One of my closest childhood friends from when I was 3 or 4 was from Japan, and so they used to buy me animes on VHS. No I don’t call myself an otaku. Yes I also read manga, but I enjoy comics in general (Archie anyone? Gotta love Jughead). So basically, to get back on topic, I realized that just because my hobbies have always consisted of writing, watching anime and music didn’t mean that I had to hide it from people. I figured, if people liked me for who I was then that was great. It was stupid trying to lie about what shows I watched and what sports I liked when I wasn’t really into any of that. While all my friends played football (American), I was more interested in pretending I was a Jedi knight…or petting the stray cat that liked to visit us at recess.
So I suppose my 16 year old self had a reason to be so harsh towards my 13 year old self. The thing is, looking back now, being 13 and 16 was equally stressful and I went through experiences that…well at the time made me feel like the sky was falling. Now that I’m considered an adult (who drinks mountain dew instead of beer and uses a starwars cup while using the worlds best Spiderman bookmark), I think I can say that I’ve realized that each part of my life is a new challenge. It seems hard at the time but once I get over it, it feels like it was a breeze.
From my first time being extremely jealous to my first date. My first experience with death to my first time holding a new baby. From bad grades to bulking down. From writing an entire novel without chapters or page numbers to becoming more organized and actually planning things out. The big and the small, all molded me into the somewhat adult I am today…although all the 16 year olds I work with think I’m the same age.
So, I’m not sure what I would say to myself at ages 13 or 16…or even to myself ten years from now when I’m 30. Wow…I’ll be 30 some day. Hopefully I have my life in order by then. To be honest I feel like I got myself where I need to be now. I try not to lie awake at night regretting the decisions I’ve made in the past. I try not to ponder the future too much either these days. Kind of makes me feel a little down…knowing that certain people won’t be with me anymore. All I can do is keep going forward. If YOLO taught me anything in high school it was that I should spend more time laughing and less time fighting. I should make time for friends and family. I should go into a career that I know I will love and will give me the most fulfilment. I shouldn’t jump the gun on decisions, and I shouldn’t put them off too long either. I shouldn’t think too much, and I should know when to take the time to think. I should step outside of my comfort zone, and I shouldn’t be afraid to stand my ground. If this were a letter to my past self or the person I’ll be when I’m 30…I’d probably say “You’re doing great. Just remember right now is a challenge but once you get over this hill, you’ll find the next will be a little easier to climb.”
Well, I’m up so I thought I’d do a little research, drink some lemonade and let my thoughts run wild (as they do constantly).
I keep debating on whether or not now is a good time to work on one of my two novels (one is in a binder and one is on my laptop) but I’m worried once I start, my mind will become more active than it is now and I’ll have trouble getting back to sleep. What’s worse is that I’m craving a popsicle and I’m trying to lose weight. Midnight snacking is probably the worst thing I can do to myself right now…but I really want it. They’re just sitting in my freezer, waiting….
Anyway, to avoid indulging in sweets and letting my hour run the other day completely go to waste, I should probably try to fall asleep again. At least staring at the screen and colouring with my Crayola markers helped me relax my thoughts a little. Perhaps thoughts are like dogs…they get really hyper when they hear somebody coming to the door, or when they hear words like walk, and so they suddenly are jumping all over you and running around trying to get your attention. That is exactly how thoughts are…at least mine. They’re like “Did someone say walk? Walk reminds me of outside, which reminds me the weather is really nice today. Did you notice the way the sun was just sitting on the lake this morning? Ooh! That would be fun to write about! Oh did someone say pizza? I want pizza! Pizza tastes sooooo yummy! Like…pizza,” and they don’t stop until you offer them a nice old belly rub or a scratch behind the ears.
I’m going to do my best to fall asleep again. I promised myself I’d only exercise and study these next two days. Plus I need to eventually pick up some birthday gifts…if I end up working on my novels or doing concept art or storyboarding I’ll end up doing that for more than half the day and I won’t end up getting done what needs to be done. I just get really immersed in my work…and get lost in La La Land as my grade one teacher called it.
Good morning/night everyone. Wishing you all the best today!
Yesterday my folks came up to visit me just because they were bored. We went out for dinner and I got this sandwich which they all think looks super gross…but its amazing.
It is a waffle chicken sandwich. I described it as “maply, spicy and mayoy.” to which my sister responded “Maply? Really, maply?” but it did taste like maple syrup, and then there was the hot sauce on top with the mayo and the chicken.
It was delicious!
After my mouth was on fire. I like spicy food…so I actually created a character who enjoys spicy food like myself and a character like my sister who hates spicy food. Then I made these characters go out to a restaurant that only serves spicy food. Fun times.
You may or may not see that scene in the future. I just made the comic short for fun, but these characters are apart of my graphic novel series.
After we got dinner we went out for ice cream, and as usual I was the last person to finish eating. My dad thinks it’s because I sing while I eat if there is music in the background…or I just talk to much. Even when I was a little kid and I was quiet even around my family I still ate really slow.
Right now I’m eating slowly because I’m blogging and eating. It’s kind of hard to spoon yogurt into ones mouth while typing. I kind of need to work on my eating habits though. I’ve skipped meals a lot lately. It’s seriously unhealthy.
Anyway that waffle chicken sandwich isn’t gross. It’s delicious. I had it once before at a different restaurant and it wasn’t spicy. It just had this maple flavoured mayo sauce and I think it had bacon and lettuce on it. It was almost a BLT but with chicken…and waffles.
Still, I highly recommend. Don’t dis it before you try it!
I was going to exercise this morning after I had breakfast…but now I just want to crawl back into bed and take a nap.
At least I had yogurt and an apple for breakfast. I figure if I just eat healthier I’ll stop feeling so tired. I’m trying to either walk an hour a day or do some kind of cardio exercise. I put on weight before Christmas, since I’m living by myself now and I don’t have my mom asking me if I wanna go for a run…and my school closed the track for the winter.
I’m not a big gym person honestly. I prefer doing my workout, outdoors. I like running trails if I can but since I’m not familiar with the trails here I ran around the school track. It’s nice and big anyway, and you can see the forest from there. In the fall it was really great. The scenery here is beautiful.
I just want to stop feeling so tired. I’ve got a headache today probably because I haven’t been taking very good care of myself in the last couple of months. The last time I went out for a run was when it was pouring rain. People must’ve thought I was nuts to be out in that weather…but I got up and dressed without checking the weather outside. Once I opened the front door I decided to throw on a sweatshirt and go out anyway. I had the mindset that I was going to exercise that morning, and that’s exactly what I did. I was in the rain for about three hours though. That wasn’t my smartest decision. It was fun though…running around in the rain, listening to music.
I really need to get that mindset again. I suppose I could do those mall walks like my mom’s been doing, but I’d rather not bus to the mall in this weather. I don’t want to get stuck somewhere and have to call a cab.
Perhaps I could walk outside in the snow on campus? Might as well. It’ll give me an excuse to go find my new class. I just have to be careful of any ice.
I seriously wish I brought my weights with me. I keep forgetting them at home…but I barely use them anymore, now that I’m not doing sports. My dad bought them for me when I was fifteen because I was playing travel soccer and needed to build on my upper body strength. I used to have muscles…now they’re like well not as toned muscles. At the moment I’ve only got to lose like 15lbs which isn’t a big deal. The only thing that’s stopping me from doing so is myself. I should just wake up everyday with this, “I’m going to exercise” attitude.
Least for now I’m eating a lot better. Having my fruits and veggies. I feel a lot better when I’m eating yogurt than when I’m eating chips, that’s for sure.
Well this post has nothing to do with writing but…I mean when my body doesn’t feel good then it sure is hard for me to focus on other things. I think I need to take some advil or something. I thought if I ate my headache would go away. Maybe I need some water? Oh well….it’ll go away eventually.
Enjoy your week everyone!
I was nice enough to clean the bathroom by myself this morning and it’s already messy again! Seriously you guys?
How do you make that much of a mess in like…4 hours!? How!?
I’m just going to…pretend like I saw nothing. I’m going to go about the rest of my evening…enjoying this delicious food and trying to get some more homework done.
Not exactly looking forward to my one class tomorrow. Oh well. It might get better…it might not.