Moving Day

Well I finished packing sometime around 3am…and woke up at 6. I couldn’t seem to sleep. I’m full of all this energy right now. I’m just waiting for 10 o’clock to hit so that I can start moving into my new apartment.

My roommates parents just had the luxury of seeing me in my pajamas. Messy hair, baggy sweat pants and all. I didn’t know they were here. When I heard someone come in this morning I assumed it was my roommate by themselves. Ha…oh well. Isn’t the first time I’ve stumbled upon guests while still in my pajamas. Although wearing one of my Dad’s company shirts is a little awkward. I mean I did some temp work there before…but I don’t have any intention of working in the medical field.

My bedroom walls are bare. No colour in sight. I had drawings and posters all over the place, and now it’s just blank grey space. Oh well, it can be someone else’s canvas now. I’ve always wanted to paint and draw all over a wall in my house. Perhaps when I have my own place and won’t have to pay damages because I drew a random dinosaur on the wall.

I’m sooo hungry right now. I mean, lately I’ve been only having one meal a day. Yesterday I managed to get two meals in. Lucky me. I decided to go for one last poutine before heading home for the summer. Definitely a wise decision. Unfortunately all I have left to eat is apple sauce…but I packed away all my spoons. All I have is this cup of water…and an entire bag of candy. Sadly, my stomach can’t handle eating candy first thing in the morning.

I’m praying it doesn’t rain while we’re moving all this stuff, and loading up the car. I wanted to try to organize what was going home and what was staying here but I decided not to crowd the hallway with all of my stuff.

I honestly cannot wait to go home. All I want to do is sit down and write. I don’t know what day I’m gonna head back to work…I mean, technically I don’t want to go back but I need the money. Somehow I ended up blowing $100 the other day. Yah…apparently splitting the bill when I’m with my younger sister means that she pays $30 and I pay $100. Bye, bye birthday money. Least I still have $275 for my trip. Depending on how many shifts I get at work, I can probably earn that money back pretty quickly.

Seriously though…if they pull any of the stunts they have in the past I’m going to resign. I’m not putting up with the nonsense anymore. I can only bite my tongue for so long. I don’t want any unnecessary stress. I need this time off from school to finally come to terms with a lot of the stuff that’s happened over the past year. There’s a lot of stuff that I didn’t have time to properly deal with, that I need to take care of.

Well, it’s finally 9 am, so I think I’ll start getting dressed. I want to get my keys as soon as possible so that I can start moving the smaller stuff before my folks come to help. I don’t think they need to help me carry pillows and dishes around. Man…it’d be nice to have a car though. That’d make life easier. Who knows maybe I’ll end up with one by the end of the summer. I highly doubt it…with my bank account….maybe once I make some serious money.

Kind of sad that at my age most people don’t have cars, but by the time my Dad was my age, he had gone through 3.

I really wish I was editing right now but I don’t have time. I knew if I rummaged through my backpack and pulled out my rough draft that I’d be going at it, and the morning would zip by. I didn’t want to end up sitting on my mattress trying to type up three or four chapters and then have my Dad banging on the front door wondering where the heck I am.

Well…I guess I’ll start getting ready.

Till next time,

–R.

Buds, Music and 2 am Pizza

Saturday night was awesome. Although we didn’t have as many people turn up to the event as planned, the music was great and everyone had a fun time.

I know that I will definitely be checking out some of the bands after last night. There was a good variety of music. Punk, Alt’, Indie, Country. A little something for everyone, which was great. I’ve got to say checking people’s I.D. was a fun, but very cold. Glad I wasn’t the actual bouncer though. There were some characters who has a little too much to drink…and had to leave.

It was great how the bands got the audience dancing and jumping around.

After it all, my sister and I were really hungry so we order pizza around 1:30 before they closed. I made sure to apologize and tip the guy, cause I’ve worked in the food industry. I understand. I still feel pretty bad…but we were hungry and well…pizza and wings were calling my name.

Now, I have to turn my attention to the many assignments I have due…oh this is gonna be a fun week.

Till next time,

R.

Rock n’ Rollin’

It seems like I’ve come down with something…the weathers been switching around so much my body hasn’t had a chance to adjust, and or recover from the bug I had two weeks ago. I also haven’t been sleeping properly.

This weekend I’m going to be involved in a Battle of the Bands competition. I’m working the event…cause of my role in our schools music society. My punk and metal loving friend will most likely attend. As for my other friends…I should probably push them to come. I really just want to see some familiar faces, outside of the staff and draw in as many folks as possible. I mean, the event is free you guys. You can win money. Why wouldn’t you go? It isn’t like you have anything better to do…except maybe that 2500 word essay that’s due Monday.

Yah I have some essays I need to get working on…hopefully I can get rolling today. We’ll see.

Till next time,

–R.

School…bleh

I’ve had exams all week. Soon though, I’ll be able to go home and relax. Hooray!

I’m ready for this semester to be over.

I don’t have any writing updates right now, just because I’ve been pretty busy but I did manage to write an entire response question on my exam as a poem. That was fun. No worries, my professor will like it. He’s a really cool guy. I’ve had him for about three years now. If you write your exam upside down he’ll give you bonus marks. He’s honestly a really great teacher, and a super nice person.

Also shout out to my friend and neighbour for returning my student card! I’m so grateful. I left it behind after my exam the other day and she grabbed it for me. Squad has my back.

I’ll have some updates when I’m done my final exam. So stay tuned!

Welcome to November!

I’m grateful for the week I had off from classes, because without it I feel as though I’d be a complete mess right now. I just kept saying to myself, “It’s almost reading break. It’s coming. The end is near. Just three essays, two exams and you’re free!” and somehow I managed to survive.

I kept getting sick during that time. I think I was so stressed and overwhelmed that my body began to react. I had constant headaches, and nausea. Never happened to me before…but after all of the stuff I’ve been through since last April…boy. I’m lucky I didn’t just snap and tear my hair out.

I managed to do a lot of writing and artwork over the break. I even got to work on my music, which was a lot of fun. I enjoy goofing around with my piano and guitar when I think no one is home…my sister screamed, “Shut up!” after about fifteen minutes. I was jokingly singing Chandelier…but it turned into a screamo edition and I sang “I want to screeeeeeam!” instead of “I want to swing.”

Anyway, you probably didn’t need to know that but basically I’m doing a lot better. I don’t feel like I’m a zombie anymore, I haven’t had any nausea or headaches, and things have been a lot less stressful back home. Plus, now school is settling down a bit…it’ll be busy again in a week or two but at least right now I can pace myself and get my head in the right place.

I guess I’d never been so stressed out in my life. I let it all build up from April. I refused to let myself crack…and then finally I just broke down. Which sucks because here and there I was finding myself slowly crumbling after trying to build myself back up. That’s why I’m glad that I had a week where I didn’t have to worry so much about school, or friends or anything and I could just catch up on sleep, draw and write and relax. I needed that break. I know if I had kept trying to push myself I’d have completely shut down. I usually try to be a very optimistic person but that side of me just vanished. I feel a lot more like myself these days. I’m goofing around with my friends again, I’m reading in my spare time (even though all I do is read for class), and I’ve set some goals for myself that I’d like to meet by my last exam date in December.

So, November I welcome you with open arms. I’m in good spirits despite the cold weather and the rain. Although I tend to write a lot of very depressing poetry in the winter (according to my creative writing professor), I will try to write something…warm and fuzzy. Not corny. Warm and fuzzy. Like…a nice blanket or a fluffy animal or some sort.

This was longer than usual.

Till next time,

— R.

 

Journel 11 – 2014

Speak to me with softness for your throat is tight. Look at me with kindness though you hate me inside. Pretend for me that this tension between us doesn’t exist. Smile with me, even if you are bitter.

For I don’t know that you are offended. I don’t see that I’ve done something wrong.

So for yourself please move along and act with glee. Your happiness is most important to yourself as well as to me.

 

End of the School Year

The school year is coming to an end. It feels like September was last week, and I was this slightly nervous kid worried about making friends.

This year I have been blessed with many great new friendships, amazing professors and an endless amount of laughter. I’m looking forward to next year and all the excitement and adventure it will bring.

Although school ending is a little bitter-sweet, I am looking forward to going home to see my family and friends.

I’ll be working on a pretty big project this summer, and when its done I’ll let you all know what that is. I’m extremely pumped about this…still slightly shocked but I’m definitely excited. So updates on that will be happening once I’m finished exams and have all the details ironed out.

I’m still plowing through two more assignments, but after Wednesday I’ll be finished, and will have more time to be creative, read my books and blog, and do all that fun stuff that I’ve had to put aside for a couple of weeks. Of course I have exams I need to study for but personally, I already feel well prepared for those. I love writing exams. Other people think they’re stressful and I see them as a chance to show myself (and my teachers) everything I’ve learned throughout the year and to put that knowledge to the test. Perhaps its because I’m working towards becoming a teacher myself? I don’t really think about grades when I work on an assignment, I mainly think about how much effort I’m putting into my work and if I’m producing something of good quality. Yah, weird I know…but I just don’t let grades define how I think about myself. A number does not define my self-worth and it does not define my intelligence. Sure, I get bummed out when I do a poor job on an assignment but I usually know if I haven’t done my best work and therefore take it as a learning opportunity. For example if I write an essay the night before its due, I don’t expect a 90%. If I procrastinated and put it off until the last possible minute, then it is my own fault and I need to learn not to do that again.

Well, that’s enough teacher-talk…or student-speak. I like alliteration.

Anyway, I just wanted to share how I’m feeling right now with school ending and with this absolutely fantastic project that I’m doing the last week of April.

All the best!

— R.

For Your Convenience

You might think that it’s cool to ignore me for  several weeks at a time, until its convenient for you but its not. You’re just so busy all the time, getting your hands into everything that you miss out on things that are way more important than the twenty things you have to do before eleven o’clock at night. Plus, while you’re out there keeping your calendar filled, you neglect the people and instead complete the tasks.

I feel a little bad, because I have a feeling that you assume I’ll be around when you’ve got time in your busy schedule. I won’t be. Sure, I’m a patient person but I’m not waiting around for someone who doesn’t give me the time of day.

Perhaps you think I didn’t “support” you as much as I should’ve. Well, I supported. Not once did you give any support back. I doubt you even took much interest in learning about what I like to do, since you seem to forget entire conversations in which I told you about myself, however I’m still able to recall what it is you’ve got to do on that busy schedule of yours. Luckily I didn’t get attached to you, or else this would be a huge mess.

Anyway, I’d kindly like to get on with my life, like I’ve been doing since January, without you popping up every couple of weeks asking me for favours. I’m not here for your convenience. If I do something nice for you its because I don’t want to seem like a huge jerk and not because I have feelings for you. Actually, we didn’t even spend enough time together for me to actually figure out how I felt about you. I don’t even know if we’re supposed to break up since you’re the only person I’ve dated, but since we weren’t “going steady” I’m assuming that I’m free to do as I please without breaking the news to you. It’s not like you had time for me anyway, because hanging out for an hour apparently takes up too much time. It should be pretty obvious that there is basically no relationship here what-so-ever.

I’d really like it if you could just stop. Its cool that you like to work and what not, but when you’re too busy for your friends and ultimately too busy for your education and other obligations then something is wrong. I wish you the best, and hope that you’ll learn to leave some blank spaces on your calendar. I’m don’t hate you and I’m not angry either, I just don’t want to be someone’s convenience anymore. I shouldn’t have, had to of been putting in all of the effort to make this work.

Well, have a good life and all. I’ll probably see you around in classes and stuff…hopefully you have time to show up.

Seriously…I don’t hate you and I wish you’d stop acting like I did you wrong. We weren’t even close to being in an actual steady relationship and we’ve barely interacted since December. It’s March now. I don’t know what I should feel guilty about?

Anyway, peace out. I have things to do like eat yogurt, drink lemon-lime Gatorade and go meet some cool kids at the library.


Hey everyone,

I don’t really like to rant on here, but I didn’t want to go ranting to my friends and family about this for a second time this week. This whole situation has just been bugging me, and I needed to get it off my chest before I started cracking down on my essays and prepping for exams. Better to clear the mind than to keep it cluttered, and this is coming from the kid who got called “Pack-rat” in grade one for having the messiest desk.

Have a great week. Enjoy the sunshine.

— R.

 

Fourteen Pgs. of Character Notes…And Writing Tips for Detailing Characters!

Fourteen pages of character notes. Wow. I don’t know how that happened but I’m glad it did.

I always try to give as much depth and detail to my characters as I can. I believe that the more I invest in a character, the more attached I will become and that attachment is what makes that character seem more real (that’s a lot of mores). Its great because my characters go from being an idea to becoming like a close, life-long friend (until you know…that scene where they get silenced by the pen aka they die).

It’s a fun process honestly, even though I’ll admit it takes time. Despite the time it takes to do it is a lot more fun than just naming a character and throwing them into your story. A name is only a fraction of a person, there are many other things that make us who we are.

A lot of the time I like to draw pictures of my characters: the facial expressions they might make in different scenario’s, what clothing they might wear, what their hair looks like, their height, the colour of their eyes.

It can be really helpful, but of course I know that not everyone likes to draw. What I used to do on my drawings was create a list beside my character. The list usually looked like…

  1. Name: Bob Robert Bobbinlee
  2. Age: 22
  3. Likes: cows, cats, cookies and cake
  4. Dislikes: anything that doesn’t start with the letter C (is for cookie)
  5. Family: Mama Bobbetta, Father Bobert, Juliettabobo Boblee, Bobafett
  6. Friends: Cookie Monster, Elmo, Pinkie Pie and Ash Ketchum (yes I was talking to my 4 year old niece recently…any watching Pokémon)

What I’ve begun doing now is creating this same list in a table on Microsoft word.

Its pretty easy to do, you just go to insert, then click table…etc.

So now I keep my images and my charts separate, giving me more room to add written details about my characters. This is especially helpful when I have side characters. Usually I don’t know the personality of a side character. Some times I might just have some character who until named is called “Book Store Clerk.” The first thing I like to do is to draw this character out (or imagine what they might look like), then I take that image and I create a detailed character chart, similar to the list above but in chart form…and because it isn’t on the same page as my drawing I can add even more detail.

Using the same example from above:

Name Bob Robert Bobbinlee
Age 22
Appearance Hair: Crimson

Eyes: Crimson

Height: Average

Special Features: Tattoo of the letter C

Personality Hot-headed, sweet-tooth, perfectionist, crazy about cats and cows, creative, incredible cook
Family Mother: Bobbetta

Father: Bobert

Siblings: Juliettabobo, Boblee and Bobafett

Friends Cookie Monster, Elmo, Pinkie Pie and Ash Ketchum

 

Partner (or partners for them playa’s) Cloe Ver
Pet Cactus the Cat and Carver the Cow
Hobbies Reading, eating and baking cookies and cake, chillin’ like a villain with his squad…I mean crew.

 

Occupation/Education Book Store Clerk

 

Fears The letter Z…because he isn’t sure if it should be Zed or Zee even though he’s Canadian. He just…doesn’t know.

 

Dreams Publish a Children’s Cook Book

See, its that simple, and even though some of these details won’t end up being in you story, they are details that are significant to who your character really is. Once you know this much about your character they begin to take on a life of their own, and as an author I have to say that is one of my favourite things that happen while I’m writing.

Whether you like to draw or not, this is a method that I highly recommend. It’s easy to set up and once you get going it can be a lot of fun. Before you know it you’ve got fourteen pages of characters and this amazingly long chart!

Also, if you are a tech-savvy person you can even scan a drawing of your character and place the image into the appearance box on the table. I’ve never done this but I’m definitely going to give it a try. The idea just came to mind.


 

I hope that this post was helpful!

If you’ve never tried to do this sort of detailing with your characters I highly recommend it. Its both fun and rewarding.

If you have any different ways of detailing and developing characters (or you’ve written a post with another writing tip) feel free to share in the comment section. I’m sure, myself and many people would appreciate it!

Happy writing everyone!

— R.