This is a blog post…I think…? I don’t even know what this is but it has colours! HOORAY! Colours are the best! This title is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG: A blog post by a 22 year old kid who hasn’t slept in a while and is sick and had to do exam and is now done school hahahahahaaaaaa…pizza.

Just finished my exam…gah. This cold is really starting to get on my nerves. I could barely think straight and unfortunately I had to be that jerk who sniffles and coughs every other minute. Yikes…I’m just glad it’s over.

That’s it for this semester. I can work on MY stuff again. No more teachers, no more books…oh right I’m pretty much a teacher now huh. Guess I can’t say that. I can barely remember how that saying goes.

There are these really awesome mugs at Chapters right now that are for teachers and I really want one, but like I’m just starting teachers college. I mean…I’m a teacher in training right? I can totally have a mug. I taught singing lessons before…and I do tutoring and stuff. I’m basically a teacher already. I think I should get a mug for my graduation present. This is a hint. You know who you are. Graduation. Mug. Chapters. The one I held up and shoved in your face and was like “YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR PARENTS TO BUY ME THIS” even though we have the same parents. I mean YOU kid. It is your duty to make sure I get that mug okay? Don’t fail me friend…or you will be demoted back to normal sibling status.

Everyone else reading can ignore that…ha…ha…ha….I haven’t slept properly in like two weeks and had to wake up early this morning for my exam even though I couldn’t sleep all night. I think I’ll have lunch and go to bed now. This post is just getting sloppy eh?

Oh no my inner Canadian has been unleashed! EHHHHHHH!

I have problems….I think this stupid cold thingy is messing with my brain or something. I’m laughing waaaaay too much. This is how I type when I’m talking to my buddies. I don’t have many friends actually. My best friends consist of my siblings and my six year old niece. I’m very popular…with elementary schoolers. I’m the teacher that draws stuff. Cats, people, cars, pizza…I’m that teacher. They think I’m lying that I’m not a famous artist. I’ve never won an art competition. My sister did. Twice. She writes comics. She’s a cool kid. She might be 10% cooler than me which is hard to admit…but I’m really nerdy and spend my time eating cereal and watching cartoons…while she watches people livestream stuff. Livestreaming is cool I guess…but people always stream when I’m in class for some reason. Least the people I care to watch. I’m totally almost a full fledged adult cause I can cook for myself…like real food…like I can make steak and potatoes and stuff….and I know how to clean stuff both properly and the cheat way that you clean when your parents are suddenly dropping by…and I do laundry good and I can like buy groceries and stuff. I’m like almost an adult. I just don’t want to be that adult like yet. Like being an adult is so much work. Like I’m not supposed to start every sentence with like. And I can start sentences with and because that’s bad grammar but you know what I have a degree thingy now that says I know how to read and write good so HA! I can start sentences with and and but and all the three letter words of disapproval that would’ve gotten me really bad marks if someone was marking them and stuff. And I can say STUFF! WOO! School is over. SCHOOL IS DONE…and…and guess what? GUESS WHAT!

I have pizza.


Um…so the author of this blog has totally lost their marbles…and will be needing a mental break for like the next 24 hours before…as in they should eat, sleep and get their sanity back for the rest of the day. This is what happens when you’re over stressed and then the stressful stuff is finally over.

–R (the still sane portion…the other half of me…my alter ego…yah they left the moment they remembered that they made pizza last night and have leftovers)

Why is everything so colourful…?

Okay. Bye.

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“Cough, Cough, Cough, HICCUP! Ow….”

I’ve lost a ton of sleep recently due to this stupid cough. To make matters worse, I had the hiccups the over night…and one doesn’t know pain until they’ve hiccuped and coughed at the same time. I feel like I’ve been doing some serious ab workouts for the last 24 hours.

I tried to take a nap earlier today to catch up on some sleep but I kept coughing…so instead I had left over turkey and stuffing and have been watching cartoons. I made some tea…it’s kind of helping to sooth my throat. I’ve also been sucking on those Fisherman’s Friend lozenges. My Dad had a ton at home so my Mom gave me them to take back to my place.

I can’t wait to move out of here. Only a few things left to pack. I can’t believe it’s over…four years went by pretty quick. I guess it was the same with high school. It all kind of zips by and the next thing you know you’ve gotta find a real job so that you can pay your bills.

I wish this stupid cough would go away. I really wanna be able to get a good nights rest. I didn’t fall asleep until 1 am last night…and even then I kept waking up coughing. Not to mention I have a group project that involves me talking to do and my voice keeps coming and going as it pleases.

As for my writing and stuff, as soon as my exams are finished I’m back to work. I’ve taken too long of a break from my projects. There’s a lot I want to do. I feel like I can write some stuff out a lot better now that I’ve experienced more…I mean at least the stuff I’ve experienced in my 22 years of life. I’ve only really been an “adult” for a little while. I’ve still got my training wheels on…I probably will until after I have kids. Honestly I don’t think being an adult gets any easier, parents probably just get really good at faking that they’ve got everything under control. That’s my theory.

Yep…until exams are done I’ll probably do more drawing. It’s relaxing…and honestly it’s just a nice way to unwind after a long day. To draw…ink and colour while listening to some of my favourite tunes…it always puts me in the best mood.

Anyway I can’t stop coughing so I’m gonna end this post here…and pray that I feel better soon. This really hurts….

–R.

Cutting it Close

It’s that time of year where I start living on ramen, KD and water because I’m too busy to buy groceries and I can’t afford to get bagels from Tims….

All I can say is that I’m glad I’ll be finished classes soon…I plan on doing some stuff online during the summer but summer in university starts in May. Luckily for me I’m going to have a couple weeks after my final exam before those start up…I’ll get to go home and write.

I’ve been wanting to work on my novels for what feels like ages now. At least I’ve had time to draw. If I didn’t have time to draw I’d probably lose it.

All my hobbies are fairly time consuming…writing and recording music, drawing, writing, reading. Actually, I’ve managed to get some reading in. I have so many books I want to catch up on but thankfully I’ve gotten through a handful of my comics this past month. I can’t get enough of my comic books. Studying English in university really makes you hate reading novels. It’s problematic. Even with writing novels…there are times when it feels stressful because all you do is read and write and discuss. There are days when all I want to do is sit on my butt, eat junk and binge watch mindless television series. Cartoons are great guys. They make you think…or they don’t make you think at all. I’ve slowly begun to enjoy reading again through my comic and manga collection. Graphic novels and the like don’t feel like novels. Sometimes theirs colour…and even when they aren’t in colour I still see colours in my head. I’m still enjoying a great book but I think the visual aspect makes it a much quicker read. I get lost in the story so easily…and then it’s over in a flash. Honestly I finish some of my comics in a half hour. Which suchs because I spend up to nineteen dollars on a book that takes me thirty minutes to plow through.

Anyway, once classes are out I’m writing as much as I want at any hour of the day whereever and whenever. When I was younger you would never see me without a binder or notebook of sorts. If I wasn’t writing I was drawing. Even the students I work know that I draw all the time…and my fellow classmates. It’s really hard to draw in public without people hovering over you, and asking a million questions. When I write in public I don’t draw as much attention to myself when I’m out in public.

I’d better eat. I haven’t had any food today. Time to enjoy that tasty ramen that totally has serious health benefits.

 

Hopes and Fears

In our lives there will always be hopes and fears popping in and out of our heads. Some nights they dance about as I try to shut my eyes and scatter about the room as I toss and turn, trying to settle my mind. When I wake up I’m in a daze before they come rushing back.

I try to wake up feeling excited versus anxious, about the things to come. I try not to think of the ever-growing list of things I need to do for the day and take my time getting ready. Still by the time I realize I’m running behind schedule, these hopes and fears are there waiting by the door. I try to keep them locked up but they must have figured out how to climb through the window.

No matter. I can always stick my headphones in and ignore them. The music will drown them out…although I do like the hopes very much, so I let them dance while I walk to the rhythm of the morning. They’re warm like the sun and brush gently across my skin. They make my heart pound heavily, but the heaviness is nice…it lets me know that I’m still alive and as I get lost in my hopes I pull out my phone and suddenly fear sinks its teeth into me.

Being late, not having things done, forgetting something back at home…all of the little fears that poke and pick at me throughout the day. Sometimes it’s easy to ignore them and other times I can’t. I think about kicking them, or stomping on them…but at the same time being so carefree isn’t always a good thing. Things need to get done. I have places I need to go, people I need to meet, work I need to finish…and the ever-growing list of little fears pushes me to get them done. My heart races when the fears start to slither about. They slip between my ankles, wrap around my throat…they nearly suffocate me…and yet I’m still alive.

My hopes  tug at me and my fears start to pull back. Both clawing at my arms and legs and face. I can’t seem to decide which way to go, so I sit in the grey…and I wait. I procrastinate. I pretend everything is nothing, and that nothing is everything. It’s a numb place to be, and very boring…there’s no music or colour. There are no hopes and no fears…so I let them back in and let the battle begin, until night-time comes again and I begin to dream.

22

I’m twenty-two today. Seems a bit weird….

This year has definitely been an adventure. I’ve tried new things, had some good days, some bad and I’m getting ready to graduate.

My family treated me to dinner the other night which was really fun. I was getting a bit home sick honestly, and just getting to spend time with my family was nice. I finally get to head home for Easter.

Being twenty-one was fun…but I’m home twenty-two will be less stressful. I’d definitely say that the start of your twenties is pretty rocky but that’s usually how transitions are. I’m definitely trying to take my time growing up. I’m not in any rush to be a full fledged “adult” yet…but I know I’m not a kid anymore. I’m going to try and enjoy whatever comes my way this year.

–R.

 

 

Show Time!

The past week has been extremely busy, but it’s also been a lot of fun. I have some work that I need to catch up on this week, but other than that I’m feeling great.

There’s just something about performing that makes me feel joy. I like to make stories come to life for others. It’s spectacular. It’s been years since I’ve been in an actual staged production, and I was worried that I might be nervous but surprisingly I felt great. No nerves in sight. I was pumped. I was so full of energy. By the end of the night all I wanted to do was sleep…but that excitement is lingering inside of me. Only a few shows left…then back to my boring routine.

I’m definitely going to miss everything about this school, my friends, my professors…and this small little city. I love it here. I’m sad to leave but it’s time to start a new chapter in my life.

I was nervous about coming here, and now I’m nervous about leaving. I think deep down, I was starting to believe that I’d spend the rest of my life here. Silly that I’d go so far to imagine living here permanently.

I’m ready to graduate. I’m 100% ready. I really don’t want to bother doing the silly graduation photos and what not…but my parents want them so I guess I have to. I just want to take some nice pictures. I rarely smile in these kinds of photos.I really just wanna get my diploma and dip. I’m ready to move on.

I have to write some tests today, so I’d better stop blogging. I’m feeling pretty sleepy at the moment…so I wanna wake myself up with a warm drink before I have to catch the bus.

Once I’m done being busy, and I’ve caught up on my studies I’ll jump back into working on my novels and such.

–R.

Late Nights, Early Mornings

Recently my sleep schedule has been all over the place. It’s definitely added to the stress I’ve been under lately. As I mentioned in my last post, I haven’t had a chance to work on my own personal projects lately, which is seriously bumming me out. Unfortunately balancing school and my personal life has become more and more difficult over these last two years.

There are days when I feel as though I’m missing out on stuff…and then again there are things that I’d rather not take part in. University is just another chapter in my life that is quickly coming to an end…and I’m ready for what lies ahead. I may not have everything figured out but honestly who does? I just wish I could get my sleep under control. I’m either sleeping ton or not at all. I hate feeling tired in the middle of the day.

Tonight I’m up late because I’m not feeling well…however yesterday I went to bed around 8pm. I was pretty exhausted. Both days were busy but…I guess it’s harder to fall asleep when your stomach feels like it’s going to explode.Actually, if it did explode it might relieve some of the pain. I hate this. I honestly do. I’d better be 100% healthy when I get out of bed tomorrow or I’m going to be ticked. I’m too busy to be sick. I won’t allow it. I have exams to prepare for, homework to catch up on, placements to do, and performances and presentations and….I find myself getting lost in thought trying to squeeze all of these individual tasks into my brain.

My wall is currently plastered in sticky notes. I managed to remove some a couple of days ago…but the ones that remain are a constant reminder of how much stuff I need to do. Yet, here I am blogging, drinking hot water and lemon to sooth my stomach and watching television…to top it off I’m also alternating between three games on my phone. It’s not very productive, but if you spent two days doing nothing but work, you’d want to at least spend a little time in the evening relaxing right? I could seriously go for a nice hot shower right now…despite it being 1 am…but my roommate didn’t rinse out the tub and I literally just cleaned it out….I scrubbed that entire bathroom. I even washed the floors. I don’t like living with people. I broke a glass yesterday, and a piece of it cut my ankle. No one even bothered to come into the kitchen to find out what that shattering sound was. I didn’t even notice the blood until I was finished sweeping. Why did I put shorts on when I got home? Why did I think it was a good idea to wear shorts? All I wanted to do was eat my damn pizza pocket. That’s all I wanted…but these people leave their dirty dishes all over the place. So sorry I broke your glass. I’m left-handed. Not like you’d know that but…don’t leave your stuff so close to the microwave and I won’t accidentally smash it to bits.

I hope this lemon water thing works. I just googled it. Apparently it helps. I figure if my Mom would drink it, it’s probably good for me.

Well…I hope I have something more interesting to update on, other than the things that happen during my day.

Till next time,

–R.

Selling Your Soul to Pay off Student Loans

Student’s find money stressful. Why? Well, books cost arm and a leg and applications cost you an organ or two and then paying back all of those loans…you’ll have to sell your soul.

It’s sad honestly how many nights I lie awake thinking about money. How much do I have for food? Do I have enough for rent? What happened to that money my uncle sent me for my birthday?

I was brought up knowing how to manage my money to some extent. For starters, I know that I am better off being sure that I have enough money to cover my rent for three to four months versus worrying about money for food. Food is important yes, but it’s less expensive than rent and if necessary I can live off of mac n’ cheese and toast.

Even though I try my best to budget and move numbers around I constantly feel uneasy about how much money I have. I try to make sure I have actual cash on hand in case of an emergency and also because I think it’s stupid to use debit for a purchase under $10, however despite taking these precautions it only seems to add to this weird…financial anxiety.

I’m not a big spender…unless you count books, but recently I’ve been reading comic books on Line Webtoon, so I’m not tempted to go out and buy a new book every chance I get. I also make sure to use my student discount every chance I get, and collect points at certain stores that I shop at frequently…like Chapters and Curry’s. It isn’t like I’m spending money every chance I get. The money I got for Christmas I used to pay for school and part of my rent…I still have bills to pay this week so that’ll be…just…yah.

I don’t know. If I could get a part-time job right now I would but my schedules packed…so I’m looking for paid surveys and things that I can do when I have an hour to myself or when I can’t fall asleep at night. I know that they increased minimum wage and all, but honestly…it isn’t going to make much of a difference. I worked two jobs over the summer, and I only made enough money to cover a few months of rent, and books. I have friends who work multiple jobs year round and I don’t know how they manage. I get worn out from placements, shows, meetings, classes and assignments. I can’t imagine doing all of that while working two jobs. They sad thing about my summer jobs is my one job caused a lot of unnecessary stress and my parents told me to quit, however I stayed because I knew I couldn’t afford to quit. That job was only part time on weekends. My other job was full-time during the week. I loved my full time job. I’d do it again in a heart beat. It’s closely related to what I’m going to school for anyways and I felt fulfilled doing it. Not to mention that people actually cared about my well-being and wanted to hire me as a private tutor for their kids. I’d be rich if I lived in town. I had to carpool with my Dad two hours every morning to work so…that’s the downside to the job.

I don’t know…I just wish things weren’t so expensive and I could live my life without having to freak out every time I spend a dime. I obviously can’t afford to buy a car any time soon. I don’t know when I’ll be able to afford one.

When my uncle was in university he could work all summer and have enough money to last him both semesters. I don’t understand why that had to change.

What I’d really like, is if school was free. I’m sure if it was they’d just charge us more for the textbooks though. They’ll get you one way or another.

Welp…this was my little rant about money. I’m hungry…so I’m going to try to think of what to eat.

Till next time,

–R.

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