Inktober

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I don’t usually share my drawings on here, but this is a really quick sketch I did of my niece sitting by the river. I know…that river looks great.

Last year I did themed character drawings for different months and holidays. I have one where I did a costume party, and what outfits my characters might where. It was really fun. Two of them dressed up as Mario and Luigi. I like to draw my character’s wearing shirts with aliens, or Nintendo characters. Depends on their personality. I like giving them wild hair colours too, like blue or fire truck red or green. I’ve just been doodling on my notes recently, so I don’t have many new drawings to show off haha…but I’ll work on some here and there.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day.

–R.

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Novel Update

I finished. I finished the first round of editing, and transferred my novel from paper and pencil, to the lovely Times New Roman font on my laptop. It took a long time to type that up…from December 23rd, 2016 until October 13th, 2017.

My goal now is to do a complete read through of the hardcopy, which I printed off and stuffed into a binder I hijacked from my sister. I want to finish reading it all today. If I can do that, then that’s awesome. If not, that sucks but I’ll get it done. I’m in the last leg of the race here, I don’t want to start slacking off.

I was motivated to finish it, and I did. It felt so good watching it come out of the printer. Fresh ink. I ran out of paper twice. I didn’t care. I’m really pleased with myself. It’s been such a long time since I’ve actually completed one of my projects. I feel like I’ll have finally broken the pattern that began back in high school, with this novel. I’m going to finish the things I start from now on. There’s no reason for me to put things off.

Well…I’d better start reading. I haven’t eaten anything yet today and I barely slept last night but I don’t care. I’m so pumped. I did jumping jacks while this baby was printing. I’d kiss it but I don’t wanna be creepy.

My folks already find it weird that I carried the rough draft around with me and clutched onto it…and yelled at people for tossing my bag around whenever it was in there…and all the barking and hissing I did whenever anyone went into my room and moved my stuff….

Anyway, I’m going to get to work…and I’ll have a snack or something too. Ha…that’s probably a good idea.

Till next time,

–R.

(The following didn’t post for some reason…I apologize).


I’ve now edited several chapters…I believe 11. So I’m getting there. Since schools gotten really busy for me, I’ve set my goal to have the entire thing edited by the end of next week. I have no classes next week, so I’ll have lots of time to read and edit.

–R.

Power Outage

So the power was out for a couple of hours. Thought it’d be out all night. My plans to order in a pizza failed since it seems like all the pizza places have closed down for the night. Bummer. Guess I’m cooking…I think I may have a flu bug. I was starting to feel better yesterday, and then today…yuck.

I still have a bit of homework to finish…cutting and pasting and what not. Plus the written portion. Yep. A bit of work but I estimate that it won’t take me any longer than 30 minutes. I’ll be glad when I’m finally finished though. All I want to do right now is wrap myself up in my blankets with a warm drink, and read till I fall asleep. I don’t even know how I have energy right now…I feel awful. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. I should’ve just listened to my Dad and went to the clinic. This is why we listen to our parents kids. They know what’s, what.

…This is also why we don’t leave our assignments until the night before. I’m really having a rough time here. I hope this week goes well. Things just seem seriously out of whack lately.

–R.

Novel Update

I’m nearly finished. I’m so happy. When I reached a certain passage in my novel I was like, “Whoa…it’s at the end. It’s happening.” I’m kind of hoping I can push myself a little to stay up and just breeze through those last two or three chapters. I’m ready to print this baby off and do my full read through.

My goal is to have it read in a single day, that way I can edit and make notes…see if everything adds up properly and I don’t have any loose ends. I did my best when typing it up to fill in any gaps, and tried to keep the writing style consistent throughout.

I can definitely say that there are areas where the writing is a lot stronger…some points where I experimented a little bit stylistically and it either was fantastic or I had to rewrite the entire paragraph. Overall I’m pleased with how things are going. I’m just pushed myself to sit down and type this morning because I know that I’m going to be a little busier now. Yah…I know I’ve got a bit of a cold or whatever and I haven’t been feeling so great…but I’m gonna stay up and write. I don’t have any classes tomorrow or any sort of serious things that I have to do so I can sacrifice a few hours of sleep. I’d be up reading anyways. I mean…I read myself to sleep every night.

Well I’d better get started.

Till next time,

–R.

Exercise and Meal Planning

Since moving into my apartment, I’ve been trying to plan my meals ahead of time. In September I made a menu where I wrote out different dinner ideas for the week. I chose to do meals that could easily be alternated with one another because I know that there are days when I just don’t feel like eating certain things. I’ve only been doing this with my dinners so far because honestly I tend to do whatever during lunch. Usually I just make a sandwich or something simple.

So far I’ve made chicken stir fry, homemade pizzas, roast, turkey…just things like that. Unfortunately beef has been really expensive recently…and I’m on a tight budget. Today I’m going to have hamburgers. They’re kind of my back up foods…stuff that I can cook right away or heat up are for my busier days. That way when I get home after a long day I’m not tempted to order in.

Since Canadian Thanksgiving is this weekend I didn’t bother picking up a ton of groceries. If I’m lucky there will be some leftovers for me to take back on Sunday. Before I go back to school my parents usually prepare a bunch of chilli, curried chicken and stuff like that and then I freeze it. It usually lasts me a little more than a semester. Unfortunately they forgot…and I forgot. So I don’t get to eat any of my Mom’s awesome chilli or curry until I go home for reading break. It’s a bummer. It picks up my spirits whenever I eat a nice home cooked meal prepared by my folks. My Dad’s the best cook though. He used to run a restaurant when I was really young but had to give it up cause he was working there, the hospital, going to night school and had three kids, two of which were between ages 0-2. I don’t know how he managed to do all of that. He’s a hardworking guy. I’m honestly really proud of him and my mom. They go way out of their way to help me out sometimes. I’d be lost without them. Sometimes when I’m cooking and I forget how to prepare something or I’m having oven anxiety…it’s a long story…then I call them up and annoy them. I feel like I’m probably the neediest kid. My siblings call me a suck up. It’s true, I’ll admit it. I kiss butt big time, but everything I say is genuine. I just feel like a good way to show people you care about them and appreciate them is by complimenting them and saying thank you. Everyone wants to hear something nice once in a while. Or at least I do….

Anyway, my original goal when creating this menu was to try to improve my diet and stop eating out as much. So far it is working. Yes, I have ordered the odd pizza here and there but not every single week. Now I just need to implement the exercise half.

See, over the summer I tried to work out three to five times a week, even if I could only do like 10-30 minutes. I managed to gain a lot of upper body strength, and was able to take off some weight. I was also taking lunches into work. I want to be in good shape again. My last three years of university I was stressed out over several different things, and last year…was a mess. I want my final year of my undergraduate to go smoothly, and I feel like the best way to get myself started is by getting my body back into shape. Whenever I talk about exercising with my friends they give me weird looks. I’m a normal weight for my height and age so they just assume because I look a certain way that I don’t need to work out. For me it isn’t just about losing weight. It’s about being strong and healthy both physically and mentally. Back when I was playing soccer my head was clear, I was fit and strong and felt like I could do anything. I was never afraid I might, “hurt” myself when climbing trees or goofing off with my buds (you can laugh at the Canadian now). In April I never would’ve attempted to lift heavy stones or carry anything that looked like it could crush me. Since I’ve been doing my own little training, strengthening my arms and what not, I just pick stuff up. It doesn’t even bother me. I’m not longer afraid to give piggy backs to the kids I work with because I’m afraid I’ll drop them after a minute. I was back to having piggy back races, lugging around sleepy kindergarteners after recess and helping my Dad lay down stone in the yard. I’m feeling stronger and stronger every day. I want to continue to grow stronger, in every area of my life.

Anyway, I’m going to go start making my hamburgers. I think I’m going to cook an extra one because then I’ll have something for tomorrow or Wednesday’s lunch. I’m pretty hungry. I skipped out on lunch today because I…I just had a rough start today. Cut my entire leg up…went to the wrong location for my lab…found a dead bird…. Then my sister’s friend got me Starbucks. That was awesome of her. She barely even knows me. So now my days getting a little less…bleh and more woo! I describe…things weird sometimes. I promise, I don’t write “The sky was bleh but she felt woo!” in my novels. If I did that make for a pretty interesting read.

Well, until next time,

–R.

The Ramblings of an Over Tired Writer

I’ve been really tired lately…and I know that it’s probably my own fault. I don’t sleep. I crawl into bed at night, and I read. I don’t know when I end up going to bed most of the time. It’s pretty bad. I hate feeling tired.

I can’t keep my eyes open and I’m bleeding for some odd reason. Who knew such a small cut would gush out so much blood? It stings too. I felt like a baby trying to clean it out.

I want to go back to bed. I want to be a responsible adult. Decisions, decisions. If I go back to sleep who knows if I’ll be up and ready to go by twelve or eleven o’clock? Besides, I’m already dressed.

I honestly can’t fall asleep without reading these days. Even if I’m tired, I stay up and I read for an hour or two. If I don’t I just lie there and stare at walls, or memorize the patterns on my pillow case.

Writing about not sleeping is making me feel sleepy.

I really just want to stay home but I know if I do I’ll regret it. I’m that person who will think on a decision for hours upon hours. That’s probably why I’m always lying in bed thinking. Sometimes I just end up in a mood where I don’t really feel like doing anything at all. Then I’ll sleep for half the day and later beat myself up for wasting time.

Last night before falling asleep I was thinking about how great it would be if I never got tired, and I could just be awake all the time. I’d get so many things done. I seem to always want to do everything around 8pm. You’d think I’d learn that it’s easier to work during the day time.

Maybe I will go back to bed for an hour? At this rate I really don’t feel like running around trying to get stuff done before my lab. Not to mention I can’t really keep my eyes open. I need to fix my sleep schedule. I really need  set bedtime. I have morning classes. I’ll need to be in class at 9am for the rest of the week. Thank goodness I don’t have many classes this semester.

I think I’m just burnt out after working two jobs all summer and from last school years mess of events…. I was beyond stressed. I don’t know how I got through all of that. I guess being stupidly optimistic about things is a good trait…always trying to see the bright side of every situation. Still…I can’t help but feel that all traits have binaries. There’s a good and bad side to everything. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately when creating characters. I realize that the their strengths are  also their flaws. For example, say there’s a character named Alfonse…just because I wanna give them a name…anyway Alfonse is a very passionate and dedicated person. Although those sound like good traits, they can also be bad. Sometimes passion drives us to do things that we later regret…and sometimes we dedicate ourselves to things that in reality weren’t worth all of the blood, sweat and tears we put into it. Optimistic people are always trying to keep things bright and full of energy but when it isn’t good to always turn a blind eye to your current situation. Sometimes we are given certain challenges so that we can grow. If you keep avoiding everything, or sugar-coating your situation, you won’t grow and it will slowly become something that you’re unable to control. People who are empathetic, tend to carry too much on their shoulders. They’re constantly trying to fix things while they fall apart themselves.

I don’t really know how I went from talking about sleep to my strange thought process…but these are the types of things that pop into my head whenever I try to fall asleep. Even now, before I close my laptop and throw a blanket over my head, I’ll probably end up thinking “Why did I go back to sleep? I could’ve finished all of this stuff by now. Why did I waste all this time? I hate when I do this….” I’m glad I don’t take any medication to help me sleep. I’m a light sleeper…but I love to dream…that is when I do sleep. Dreams are interesting. I guess if I’m dreaming then I am awake even when I’m asleep. I see things. I go places. I get a lot done. Sometimes I’m sad when I wake up from a good dream. It’s like you live this different life and then BAM, you’re back in reality.

 

Novel Update

Editing has been going well lately. I’m nearly finished my first round of edits! I’d like to do at least three.

The amount of notes I’ve left myself over the last couple of weeks regarding work, school and…whatever else continues to grow, but I’m still at a point where I can manage. At least the work I’m doing is something that I enjoy. As my Dad said, “If you enjoy it, it isn’t really work.” Hopefully soon I can turn the things I enjoy into something profitable. Gotta pay off those student loans at some point.

I’ve got a couple of things that I’d like to get done today…a few assignments that I need to get started on, some cleaning. I seem to clean up around here every weekend. This place gets messy pretty fast. Students are always too busy for “tedious” things like cleaning…apparently. I’m a bit squeamish so I try to clean up after myself. Other peoples messes are not my problem…even if they bug me. As long as my space is clean I have somewhere I can escape to when the kitchen looks like thirty people live in our apartment. I swear…something…something in that sink smells.

Whenever I write for characters around my age I start laughing because sometimes my own thoughts bleed into the narration. I have characters who are in their early 20s, living with roommates and trying to cope with the many responsibilities of adulthood. So when I write about them stepping on weird squishy rotting fruit in the kitchen…it’s because this stuff actually happens on a day-to-day basis. I usually end up laughing my head off when I write those kind of scenarios. I usually try not to base characters off of people I know, however you gotta draw inspiration from somewhere. Even if it is your…dirty kitchen that smells like rotting milk. I can’t figure out where that smell is coming from!? If people would just wash their dishes we wouldn’t have this problem. Like, bruh there is a dishwasher! How do you have three weeks worth of dishes in the sink?

I hope my roommates never find this blog post. They’re great guys honestly, but I just…the smell is so bad! I don’t know how to describe it exactly…rotting milk with like a mixture of…I don’t know…moldy…fruit? Like when the fruit gets all fluffy and stuff. That kinda moldy.

It’s sad…when you live at home your parents tell you when stuff needs to be thrown out. When you live alone you kind of just open your fridge and go, “Hey, I forgot I made stir fry…when did I make this again? Oh…oh God…oh that’s…nope…nope uh…Lord help me….trash…sink…I think it’s moving!”

Anyway, I’d better go. Places to go. Things to do.

Enjoy your weekend.

–R.

Glass

What do we do, when the ones we care about are broken?

Do we punish the ones who have hurt them? Make them pay for their crimes. Show them what broken really looks like.

Do we try to fix them or do we leave them shattered like broken glass. Millions of a whole sparkling in the dirt.

It is hard to love a broken thing. When things break we replace them…it’s easier than taking the time to mend them. Easier to forget about what is broken. Who is broken. No one wants to be reminded of the things that are broken…the people they have broken.

I saw her broken. She laid there, like glass. Silent…though silence was never something she longed for. I couldn’t touch her. She was sharp. Her shards laid at my feet. I didn’t break her, but I cannot fix her. I don’t know how. I want to. I want what once was. This bond between us, shatter by those who hurt her. Beat her down into the dirt. Shoved their words into her like daggers. Tore apart what was left of her. Somehow she rose. A million pieces. She rose up, still shattered and she glistened in the sun. I couldn’t fix her. I don’t know if she even wanted to be fixed. Perhaps she likes being broken? Perhaps the glass makes her enemies tremble with fear. She is strong, even though she is shattered. Her strength is the greatest sword ever built.


For my dearest and oldest friend.

Stay strong.

–R.