Selling Your Soul to Pay off Student Loans

Student’s find money stressful. Why? Well, books cost arm and a leg and applications cost you an organ or two and then paying back all of those loans…you’ll have to sell your soul.

It’s sad honestly how many nights I lie awake thinking about money. How much do I have for food? Do I have enough for rent? What happened to that money my uncle sent me for my birthday?

I was brought up knowing how to manage my money to some extent. For starters, I know that I am better off being sure that I have enough money to cover my rent for three to four months versus worrying about money for food. Food is important yes, but it’s less expensive than rent and if necessary I can live off of mac n’ cheese and toast.

Even though I try my best to budget and move numbers around I constantly feel uneasy about how much money I have. I try to make sure I have actual cash on hand in case of an emergency and also because I think it’s stupid to use debit for a purchase under $10, however despite taking these precautions it only seems to add to this weird…financial anxiety.

I’m not a big spender…unless you count books, but recently I’ve been reading comic books on Line Webtoon, so I’m not tempted to go out and buy a new book every chance I get. I also make sure to use my student discount every chance I get, and collect points at certain stores that I shop at frequently…like Chapters and Curry’s. It isn’t like I’m spending money every chance I get. The money I got for Christmas I used to pay for school and part of my rent…I still have bills to pay this week so that’ll be…just…yah.

I don’t know. If I could get a part-time job right now I would but my schedules packed…so I’m looking for paid surveys and things that I can do when I have an hour to myself or when I can’t fall asleep at night. I know that they increased minimum wage and all, but honestly…it isn’t going to make much of a difference. I worked two jobs over the summer, and I only made enough money to cover a few months of rent, and books. I have friends who work multiple jobs year round and I don’t know how they manage. I get worn out from placements, shows, meetings, classes and assignments. I can’t imagine doing all of that while working two jobs. They sad thing about my summer jobs is my one job caused a lot of unnecessary stress and my parents told me to quit, however I stayed because I knew I couldn’t afford to quit. That job was only part time on weekends. My other job was full-time during the week. I loved my full time job. I’d do it again in a heart beat. It’s closely related to what I’m going to school for anyways and I felt fulfilled doing it. Not to mention that people actually cared about my well-being and wanted to hire me as a private tutor for their kids. I’d be rich if I lived in town. I had to carpool with my Dad two hours every morning to work so…that’s the downside to the job.

I don’t know…I just wish things weren’t so expensive and I could live my life without having to freak out every time I spend a dime. I obviously can’t afford to buy a car any time soon. I don’t know when I’ll be able to afford one.

When my uncle was in university he could work all summer and have enough money to last him both semesters. I don’t understand why that had to change.

What I’d really like, is if school was free. I’m sure if it was they’d just charge us more for the textbooks though. They’ll get you one way or another.

Welp…this was my little rant about money. I’m hungry…so I’m going to try to think of what to eat.

Till next time,

–R.

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Anyway, I’d better eat my very late breakfast here…I guess it’s considered lunch now.

Till next time,

–R.

 

 

Thinking and Moving

I’m slowly getting settled in to my new apartment. My room is slightly larger than the one I had at the old place…however there are pesky little bugs everywhere. It’s disgusting really. We were promised that this place would be cleaned out properly over the summer, however that obviously never happened. The first two days were spent cleaning. I had to re-wash all of my clothing, towels and such that had been kept here over the summer. Everything is coming together though. I’m sure by the end of the week it’ll feel a little more like home.

As for my editing progress, I haven’t had a chance to do anything this week. However, I have two days a week off this semester, so I’ll be dedicating those days to working on my personal projects, at least until I have assignments and such to do. Then of course I’ll need to use that time for other things.

I still have a lot of things that I need to get done today. Seems I’ve lost my water filter…and a few other dishes which is bizarre. I know that they were packed away together but I have yet to find them. Honestly, I don’t think I can afford to buy a new one. They’re between $15-$30, but I still need to purchase my books for school, and pay my bills. I suppose in the long run having the filter is better than spending money on large water bottles an jugs every week.

I’ve considered getting a part-time job, but I just finished working two jobs and on top of that it’s my final year. I need to focus on my grades and I have to begin applying for graduate school. There’s a lot that I need to think about right now, which if I could I’d put it all off and forget the fact that I have responsibilities at all. Sadly, I’m one of those people who spend hours upon hours thinking about life, planning my next move, daydreaming about when and where. I’m always thinking about something. Unless I’m really engaged in a project or I’m captivated by a good book…I’m thinking about nothing and everything.

Well, I still have to eat my breakfast so I’d better get started on that. I’m pretty tired out right now. I’m surprised that I crawled out of bed at 8 o’clock this morning. Yesterday I was in bed until 11…which never happens. I’m an early riser. Id like to spent a few hours relaxing before I get rolling…I really don’t feel like doing much at all today. I’ll try to keep my spirits high. Try not to stress myself out over money like I did all summer.

Good News

So yesterday I received  news that I got the job I’d applied for…but not only did I get the job, they gave me a position higher than the one I’d applied for because of the references I gave them.

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I’m really excited for the training and the experience. I know that this is going to be a great opportunity for me, and will benefit me in the near future.

I also managed to add in a scene to my novel that I’d been trying to work out in my head for a couple of weeks now. It took a while but I got it to fit. I also managed to get some really good feedback on it, and edited it accordingly. I really enjoyed the scene honestly. I think it’s pretty intense, and adds more perspective to the situation at hand. Before, the situation didn’t seem as urgent but now it’s like “Oh no! We gotta do something!”

OMG

Yah, I’m feeling pretty blessed right now. Things were pretty rough a while back and in merely a couple of hours all that stress just disappeared. Soon, I’ll be going on a trip to the city, where I’ll be…doing a lot of nerdy stuff, but hey it’s my thing. Some people collect wine, some people are sports fanatics…I like cartoons and anime.

If you like anime or you just like more action thriller type shows I recommend 91 Days. It’s seriously underrated and I’m definitely going to watch it again.

Anyway, I’m supposed to be editing write now but I’ve had a pretty bad headache since yesterday so I think I’m gonna go back to bed for a little bit. Maybe a half hour or so…cause right now despite being in a great mood my body is telling me I need to take it easy. Maybe I can convince my sister to go for a walk later. A bit of fresh air might help. I have a ton of stuff to get done today though…regarding my new job that is. I’ll have it done this afternoon…just have to set up my scanner and what not. I know it’s out of ink though. My printer/scanner is stupid. If it runs out of ink…say it runs out of the yellow one? I can’t print in black and white. I can’t print at all. I can’t scan either. Scanning an image onto my computer has NOTHING to do with printing and using ink. I never said, “Scan and photocopy.” It’s seriously getting on my nerves. I really don’t want to spend anymore money. It was hard enough trying to save up for this trip…never lend people money. It’s nice to help people and all…but I really don’t think I’m going to lend money to anyone again…especially not family. For some reason family members like to take advantage of your kindness…and abuse it more than friends do. Most of the friends I’ve had who tried to abuse my kindness…we aren’t friends anymore. The moment I stopped being nice, they got upset. Oh well. Anyway, don’t lend people money, and don’t get mad if they don’t in a months time because they obviously never had any intention of giving you your money back. Just…trust me.

Yah…I need to curl up into a ball and sleep for a bit. I considered having a light breakfast but I don’t even want to get off my butt. I hate sleeping in. I feel like I’ve wasted so much of the day when I do…but I really need to lay down.

Till next time,

–R.

Money, School, Life

I’ve realized today that I need to stop spending money. Before my sister moved in with me, I rarely ever went out so I didn’t spend any money unless I needed to buy groceries. Now that she’s living with me I’m ordering food all of the time (which I never did on my own), and I’m going all over the place. My 21st birthday was on Sunday, so I just got some money…and I won’t be working till May. I’m still here for another month and need to buy groceries. Sadly, I don’t want to use my birthday money for groceries because I’m saving that for a weekend trip I have coming up.

I’m usually really good with my money. I’ve never been a big spender…but then suddenly this year I’m always buying food. I don’t know if my spending is entirely linked to my sister moving in, because both of us had a very stressful year. Perhaps I spent more because I was going out to distract myself?

My sister pointed out to me that I should carry my notebooks and binders around with me everywhere like I used to, so I can work on my novels all the time. I wouldn’t mind doing that, except that I wouldn’t want people looking over my shoulder to see what it is I’m working on…and also, I get extremely paranoid when it comes to my binders and sketchbooks. I have to know where they are…and that they’re safe. If I plan on being away for more than a few days, I pack them in my luggage. I don’t know when I became so attached to them. It’s like they’ve become an extension of me. I used to be like this with my old teddy bear…so perhaps I’m just one of those people? I wonder if my future spouse will find this weird….I know my parents do.

I think that my sister understands it a little better. She’s an artist. We’ve been editing her latest work recently. She makes comics. They’re honestly really good. We’re both very critical of each others work (she’s harsher than I am), so having each other edit the first draft is always good. Her stories are funny. She used to share them with her class. Actually she’s won two awards now for her work. Lucky duck. She used to have her friends circle around her while they read her comics and they’d always go “Any updates yet!?” I’m still trying to convince her to share some of her work online. We’ll see. Maybe once she’s finished with her exams. She’s an artist, an athletic and a bio-chem major. Weird combination, I know. We’re both kind of like that though…except I’m not so good at math or science. I read. I’m really good at history…in the sense that I can remember random facts off the top of my head. Whenever I had to write papers for my classes back in high school I’d be told they sounded like stories or poems…which I can’t deny. I’m a creative writer first. Essays I do because I’m asked, not because I enjoy them.

Well, this is all for now. I’m working on my writing schedule, which I’m going to double as an exercise schedule as well. I just want to get into shape before I start working. The weathers just been really cold…I like to exercise outdoors. Especially since the trail is near the river. The scenery is perfect.

–R.

School and the Cost of Books

Taking a break is nice. I like to relax for a little while and let myself recharge. Especially when it comes to school, since early February can be a very busy time for assignments and such.

I hate to admit it but I spent more time goofing around and reading comic books, than getting ahead in my work. Honestly, I wish I had made the decision to get ahead in my readings but I didn’t like the books we were currently doing for school, and I wanted to take a break from reading novels. Being an English Major takes the fun out of books. A large majority of my classmates agree with me. There is a difference in being allowed to choose what you want to read versus being told what you have to read and not only do you have to read it, you have to tear it apart and find all the possible metaphors, and focus on the ideas behind the text…. Let’s make reading fun again? Can’t we do it where we study a book for a month, and really go into depth with it? Rather than cramming an entire novel in one week? I had books I was interested in reading, but couldn’t get to because I had to read a book I absolutely hated for an essay due the same week. The thing with English is that as long as you’re attending class, you can get a rough idea of what the book is about (depending on your professor).

Thinking about reading shouldn’t make me cringe. It should make me excited, like it used to when I was a kid. I still love to go to Chapters and browse, but now I find that I’m leaning more towards buying comics because it doesn’t drain me. Most of the time I finish them within a half hour. It doesn’t bother me that I finish them quickly, but I don’t feel the need to rush my reading, and I don’t feel as though I am obligated to continue with a book that I’m not enjoying.

I have several novels that I’ve either bought for pleasure or that have given to me as gifts, and I haven’t had then chance to read any of them.

Sometimes if a book for school doesn’t interest me, I don’t even bother purchasing it from our bookstore because it costs too much money. I can’t justify buying a novel that is $30. I have bills to pay, and I need to eat. I try to find some of the books at Chapters and for some reason they never have them in stock. I find this a bit strange…and of course, I have more own theories as to why this is, but it is possible that it is just that these books are unpopular.

At least when one is studying Shakespeare, it is easy to get access to his work online, as it is free to the public domain. It doesn’t cost a penny. If I don’t already own the play, I can pull it up and read it, or watch/listen to a performance on YouTube. I don’t have to worry about missing anything, and I don’t feel any sort of stress because I didn’t have the money to spend on the play.

I can’t understand how they can charge so much for books? The textbooks that my sister purchased are around $100 each. She needed about four of them for the entire year. With English and Language studies, they make you purchase several books between $20 and $30, weekly and or biweekly, in order to get the same amount of money out of you that they would with someone in Business, Psychology or Mathematics. It’s ridiculous the amount that they charge us for books on top of our classes, and for many first year students, on top of their residence fees.

As students, we shouldn’t have to worry about whether or not we should spend our $100 monthly budget on food or books.

The reason that myself, and many other students that I have spoken to about this, have stopped purchasing all of our books at the beginning of the year is because one cannot guarantee whether or not they will get their money’s worth out of the book. Why am I going to purchase a $60 Anthology on 20th Century British Literature, when I only need to read 3 pages of the entire textbook? Why would I spend $25 on a novel that I have will not have time to read, and may possible dread if there will be approximately 15 novels throughout the entirety of the course and I will have to option to write on at least 10 of them for the exam? Of course I’m going to choose buying food and paying my rent over spending a ridiculous amount of money on books that I may not read.

This is why it is easier to buy one or two books at a time for my courses, versus getting all of them at once. On top of that, you don’t get you $400 back. I attempted to return my books to our school bookstore last year, and got $42 for them. Many of the books they wouldn’t take back because they weren’t sure if they’d be used next year. For books that I had spent over $20, I may have only received 10 cents for them. Some I got a $1 or $2 for. It was ridiculous. From now on, I feel as though it would be better if I sold my books elsewhere or if I donated them. The majority of the books I’ve been forced to read for my courses, I really haven’t enjoyed. There are a few gems that I plan on keeping in my collection, but the remainder I’d rather get rid of. I don’t have a need for them, nor do I have the space. Still, it would be nice to earn back some of what I had spent on them, as they weren’t cheap.

I didn’t plan on writing this, but it has been bugging me all year.

I hope you’re all enjoying the weekend,

R.

Hi There!

Wow, it’s been a while. I’ve been pretty busy since my exams finished. I’ve barely used the internet. I’ve either been editing my novel, sketching, writing music or running around visiting relatives.

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Oct. 16th, 2016. O. Ryder

I suppose that taking a break from social media is alright. Being “connected” all of the time can be tiresome. Sometimes I prefer to be left alone. I don’t want people messaging me 24/7. It’s more fun actually having a face to face conversation in the flesh than sending a snapchat to my friends.

Writing Update: I’ve begun editing the first draft of my novel, and I am now working on the fourth and fifth chapter of the other novel that I’m working on. I like to continue writing during my editing process. I feel as though I need to remain productive, because whenever I have completed a project, I always think to myself, “Now what?” since back then I usually spent an entire year focusing solely on one thing at a time. This low-key multitasking is actually really nice. What I do is I create the structure for other projects, while I am writing others, and then once I’ve begun editing my main project I have other things to work on as well. This is so that when I have completed my main project I am already set up with another project. I’ve found this method effective, however I know that it isn’t full proof. Obviously ones main project could change partway through, however it is a good way to battle against things such as writers block.

 

Life Update: I won some money in the lottery. $22.00. I’m a rich kid now.

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Bear in the Big Blue House

 

I will blog again soon!

— R.

Blood and Books

At this rate I don’t know if I’ll have enough money to purchase my supplies. That means putting off publishing for another month. That’s depressing…even with a student discount art supplies can cost an arm and a leg.

I really wanted to have these illustrations done by July. I really, really, really hate this. Maybe I’ll sell my blood, my books and my guitar? Then I can have enough to purchase my supplies and a little left over for…one of my bills. Ugh….

Money….

Even though I know that I need to be up early tomorrow for work…I can’t seem to force myself to sleep. I know that it’s because I’m not looking forward to work tomorrow…or the next day…or the day after that. I know its because my heart keeps screaming “I want to quit!” but my mind keeps screaming, “I need to pay my bills!”

I don’t think that being an adult sucks…but it was a lot easier when the only time I ever worried about money was when I was saving up for a new toy or books.

— R.