Since, I already finished writing my novel, I think I’ll continue with my editing during Nanowrimo. I’ve also been debating working on my other writing projects that I’ve temporarily put on hold due to…well…business.
I’m tired. I don’t like to admit it, but I am. I have three practices a week for two different things. One practice runs 7 hours. My legs are sore from training. I have placement in between two of my practices, and my only real free day is Sunday. Now I have to begin preparing for another assignment and I have a test this week. Probably tomorrow. I didn’t check. I still need to study. I wouldn’t say I’m under as much stress as I was last year but I’m definitely still busy. I enjoy the things I’m doing…mostly. Part of me just wants to graduate already. Some days I want time to slow down and others, I wish it would zip by. I’d love it if I could fast forward to the end of April. However…I’d still be training and practicing but I’d be doing something I enjoy.
I have so many things that I need to get done. I’m running a school club, going to rehearsals, training, studying, writing, editing…I’m supposed to be exercising outside of my training too. I have a practicum starting today so there’s that too. I’m just praying I get a good group. I want to be as helpful as I can.
Now I have a stomach ache…for some weird reason. Was it the apple I ate or the brownies? I shouldn’t eat brownies for breakfast. I know better. I need to go grocery shopping. Can people get stomach aches from being stressed? I should think about what I want to have for lunch later so that I don’t end up eating a whole bunch of junk. I’m thinking I’ll make burgers for dinner tonight. I like burgers.
I feel like I’m trying to juggle all of the different areas of my life. Responsibilities, hobbies, school, work. I always think back to what my dad told me, which is that a person doesn’t have to do just one thing. However, I know that because of what I’m doing I need to separate these things. I can do them all, and enjoy myself but because of one of my career paths, I need to be careful of the choices I make.
If I didn’t have class today I’d just sleep. Yesterday I forced my sister to tag along with me while I looked for new track pants. I never ended up buying any. They were all over priced. I got a good chicken souvlaki pita though. I really just needed to get out of the house. I felt like I wasn’t able to do anything for myself all week. I also realized that I’d be busy two weekends in a row this month and figured I might as well do something while I have the chance.
I’ve been missing out on fun stuff, like open mics and school events. It isn’t that I’m not having fun in my classes or at my practices…it’s just that…I don’t know. Like, I can’t even go home to visit my folks on the weekend anymore because I have to train on Saturdays. When I go home, I feel like I can relax and I don’t need to worry about anything at all. I’m free to lounge around the house, or go for a run or hang out with my friends.
The last time I hung out with my friends was in May. May. May. May….
I guess it’s because I don’t have classes with my school friends. The only person I have to hang out with is my sister. Not that it’s a bad thing…we get along. It’s just kind of lonely. I miss sitting in the pub with my buds, eating mac n cheese and talking about stupid, pointless things. Stupid pointless conversations may not be worth repeating but they sure are good memories. I occasionally try to visit one of my friends at work. My other friends already graduated because they were a year older…and one of my closest friends dropped out and due to all the stuff they’ve been through since then I don’t think they’ll be coming back anytime soon. Things are just…weird.
I’ve actually wished that I had enough money so that I could pay my way through school and not have to worry about grades. Right now some of my classes are making me feel…kind of…blue. I guess I feel blue a lot these days, even though I try hard to be optimistic. It’s not even that I’m sad or depressed…it’s more that I just feel like if I could fall asleep for two days straight it would be awesome. I’ve had days were I’ve showered and dressed and I’m ready to go out and then decided I’d rather stay home and do nothing. I just change back into my pjs and go to sleep. I’ll lie in bed for hours.
I’ve tried setting earlier alarms, and waking up at the same time everyday. I’ve tried organizing my tasks. Maybe I just need a vacation?
Vacations are nice.
Well, I hope that Nanowrimo is going well for everyone. I’ll be doing my best. Exams are coming up very soon so I’ll probably be getting ready for that. Joy. So fun. I actually like exams just…thinking about marks right now is stressful. I’d rather pretend I’m not even in school right now…but what good will that do? Running away from things that seem stressful has never helped anyone.
Next time I’ll try not to whine some much,