Welcome to November!

I’m grateful for the week I had off from classes, because without it I feel as though I’d be a complete mess right now. I just kept saying to myself, “It’s almost reading break. It’s coming. The end is near. Just three essays, two exams and you’re free!” and somehow I managed to survive.

I kept getting sick during that time. I think I was so stressed and overwhelmed that my body began to react. I had constant headaches, and nausea. Never happened to me before…but after all of the stuff I’ve been through since last April…boy. I’m lucky I didn’t just snap and tear my hair out.

I managed to do a lot of writing and artwork over the break. I even got to work on my music, which was a lot of fun. I enjoy goofing around with my piano and guitar when I think no one is home…my sister screamed, “Shut up!” after about fifteen minutes. I was jokingly singing Chandelier…but it turned into a screamo edition and I sang “I want to screeeeeeam!” instead of “I want to swing.”

Anyway, you probably didn’t need to know that but basically I’m doing a lot better. I don’t feel like I’m a zombie anymore, I haven’t had any nausea or headaches, and things have been a lot less stressful back home. Plus, now school is settling down a bit…it’ll be busy again in a week or two but at least right now I can pace myself and get my head in the right place.

I guess I’d never been so stressed out in my life. I let it all build up from April. I refused to let myself crack…and then finally I just broke down. Which sucks because here and there I was finding myself slowly crumbling after trying to build myself back up. That’s why I’m glad that I had a week where I didn’t have to worry so much about school, or friends or anything and I could just catch up on sleep, draw and write and relax. I needed that break. I know if I had kept trying to push myself I’d have completely shut down. I usually try to be a very optimistic person but that side of me just vanished. I feel a lot more like myself these days. I’m goofing around with my friends again, I’m reading in my spare time (even though all I do is read for class), and I’ve set some goals for myself that I’d like to meet by my last exam date in December.

So, November I welcome you with open arms. I’m in good spirits despite the cold weather and the rain. Although I tend to write a lot of very depressing poetry in the winter (according to my creative writing professor), I will try to write something…warm and fuzzy. Not corny. Warm and fuzzy. Like…a nice blanket or a fluffy animal or some sort.

This was longer than usual.

Till next time,

— R.

 

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Eyes

Eyes

I try to see like you do and my heart breaks.

I try to see like they do and my hands shake.

When I see through my own eyes I begin to judge…

When I see through his eyes everything is beautiful.

–Monday, March 23, 2015


I’ve been looking through my work for a school assignment and thought I’d share some with you.

O.Ryder

Quick Writing Update and…Reading Week YES!

Whoa, I just got a whole ton of work done in the last four hours. That honestly makes me feel amazing…however now that I’m finished I don’t know what else to do.

I guess I’d better go look over my other work and see what I want to place into my portfolio for Friday. I’ve been picking and choosing…kind of going back and forth on a couple of pieces. I’m almost thinking I’ll write something new or type up some of the raw stuff I’ve got scribbled all over my note books. We shall see.

Thank God reading break is next week. I feel like today is Friday and I’m ready to just crawl into bed and watch anime, Murdoch Mysteries and Fresh Off the Boat. Too bad I don’t have cable…but my parents have cable. It’s funny, during reading week you’re supposed to read and get lots of work done but every time my friends and I come back we’re all like, “Oh gosh I have so much homework to do. I did absolutely nothing over the break!” Not this time. This time I’m going to buckle down and read the novels I’ve been assigned for the first (maybe even second) week back and I’m going to do a lot of writing…try and experiment with different types of poetry like I used to do back in high school. I am going to do stuff other than catch up on T.V., sleep and eat delicious home cooked meals. I’m also going to exercise because…I keep trying to go to the gym but then I make up excuses. For example, “It’s too late. I’m too full. Too crowded today. I just want to sleep.” anyone else relate?

Feels good to get work done. It feels good to progress…also feels good to relax.

Reading week, I’m coming for you buddy.

Mouse Song

I want to sing you a song

To make your pain go away

But my lips are dry

And my throat is tight.

I want to hold you up

I want to keep you safe

But my arms are weak.

Little mouse so meek.

Wish I knew what to do

I wish I knew what to say

But when I try something

It feels like nothing.

Don’t want my heart to break

Don’t want to make a mistake

Before you go away.

Please, don’t go away.

Stay another day.

Stay another day.


For Nana and Granddad.

You’ve always filled my world with wonder.

Please give me the chance to return the favour.

Love, R.

I Guess…I Wrote a Poem?

I wanted to draw…so I drew some pictures.

I listened to music that was a…well, hard core.

I kept sketching faces from inside my head.

Now my wrist is kind of sore….


This wasn’t supposed to be a poem…but I can’t control the writer so…okay we’ve got a poem. Awesome sauce! It’s late I should sleep. Yah…sleep sounds like a good idea.

Goodnight.

— R.

Will…When

Will you hear my story

When I’m buried beneath the snow?

Will you hear my story

When the flowers grow.

Will you sing my song

When the sun fades away?

Will you share my heart

When there’s nothing left to say?

— O. Ryder.

Sept. 2, 2015.

Writing and Life Update

Wow this weeks just been flying by. I can’t believe it’s almost Friday!

I’ve gotten a couple of projects on the go, which is fantastic. I started getting into serious script writing. I’m really enjoying it. It’s different from writing novels and poetry but it’s just as fun.

As for my novel I’m working on it still. Planning out some minor details. It’s been fun. It really has. I mean, it’s almost like doing homework for school but this is the kind of homework that I enjoy.

I might start posting a short story that I wrote a while back just…I don’t know. I found it the other day and thought, “With a little editing here and there this could be a good story.” So I’ll be working on making it more presentable. The version I found was a draft. I haven’t received any feedback on it…so I’ll probably end up showing it to my sister first. She’s an honest kid.

I’m not sure how much work I’ll get done with my niece over though. She’s currently taking her nap so I have time to relax until she wakes up.

She’s a funny little girl. We spent all morning playing outside with my brother and my mom.

It’s great being back home with my folks. They really give me the drive I need to work.

Speaking of work, I’m starting that soon. I’m excited…very, very, very excited.

Actually my dad is more excited than I am.

Our family needs to do a lot of…nice happy things right now. We’ve got a lot going on…. but I’m just going to stay strong and be positive. I’m happy that I finally got hired by someone, that just takes some weight off my dad. Plus having my niece over should keep everyone in good spirits.

I find that if you’re feeling down, its best to go outside and get some fresh air. Exercise is amazing…it does a lot for your mind and body. I like to run. Since I’ve gotten back into running I’ve been feeling like my usual self. I’m writing music and poetry, working on my novels and joking around with my sister.

Happy Thursday!

P.S. do not drive your Barbie’s off a steep cliff (the porch) or they might flip upside down and lose their tiara’s.


That featured image was drawn by moi. Isn’t it awesome? I was like, “Mom look at my beautiful picture of an alien with a gun!” and my mom gave me that “Are you for real?” look and then I just walked away…

I bet my niece would like it…the alien is a villain in my story. Yah….okay bye!