I made this...how artistic of me.

I made this…how artistic of me.

Ever since I entered into my late teens, many things have happened in my life where I’ve needed help but was too afraid to ask. This week, for instance, two events occurred that I didn’t know how to handle on my own. So what did I do? Well, I tried to keep my struggling from those who love and care for me the most. With the first event, I practically let everything crumble before me, and in the end, after all the anger, my dad came up to my room to have a “chat” with me.
“If you can’t even come to us for help, then who are you supposed to turn to?” He asked.
I never gave him an answer. I didn’t have one. I usually locked away my frustration, pushed my hardships aside, and at all costs avoided stressful situations. Though it made me feel like a coward at times, I was afraid that if I ever asked for help, someone would judge me. However, the other day I forced myself to knock down my walls and ask my friends and family for some advice. Still, I never asked my parents, but I did turn to a trusted adult, who understood me well enough, and who I felt wouldn’t judge or criticize me about the thoughts that were racing through my mind.
As time has flown by, these last four years, I’ve learned that high school is full of its ups and downs. I found that even though you learn a lot about others, you learn the a lot more about yourself. One of the most important things that I’ve learned is that it is better to seek help when you need it, rather than keeping everything locked inside, especially while in school. If something is bothering you there is no shame in telling someone, whether it’s a parent, a friend, or a trusted adult. I know it’s hard to admit that you still need guidance when you’re around my age. Sometimes us teens feel that it is better try to appear older, and stronger than we actually are, but we’re still kids, and honestly everyone, no matter how big or small needs a lending hand once in a while.
After asking for help from my friends and family, this was the advice I was given:
1. If you don’t have a peace about it, walk away.
2. Do whatever you think is right. In the end it’s up to you.
3. Be honest.

Anyways, I just thought I’d share something a little more personal.
Till next time,

Orion.

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Cleaning My Room

The other day I decided to start cleaning out my room. As a kid (well I still am a kid but that’s besides the point), I would hoard old school work, random notes I wrote to myself as reminders, torn socks that my parents constantly told me to throw out, and several short stories that I never want another soul to read (really bad fan-fictions). After tossing the things I’d hoarded from grades four to eleven off of my book shelf, I almost felt…free. It was as if those memories of bad report cards, and rants about fights I had with my friends were gone. I’d let go of all the things that seemed to occasionally pop back into my life and cause me to remember those somewhat depressing childhood memories (I was bullied in early elementary school).
The reason I had to clean off my bookshelf in the first place, was because one of the shelves had fallen due to all the weight it was under.
I guess you could the bookshelf was a metaphor, it was representing all things I was holding on to that were putting some sort of pressure on me.
Now that those things are gone, I’m no longer under that pressure. I am light as a feather, and I’m ready to begin a new stage in my life.
Today, I started emptying out my dresser. I got the same feeling again but yet, somehow it was a little different. I was almost excited to toss the old clothes from my drawers and onto my bed. I was practically flinging them around, and I started building a mountain out of them. I even quoted Jay Gatsby, from the novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald, “I have a man who sends me shirts from Europe.” I was actually enjoying the release.
When I was younger, I used to dread having to clean my room but now it seems as though it is another sign that I’m growing up. Growing up means, letting go, and as I’ve also learned recently sometimes means saying goodbye. However, though goodbye is a sad thing, it’s never forever. Letting go, and moving on are all apart of life. If you never move on, you’ll never mature, and you’ll never grow.
I sound so old…I guess life does that to you. I still can’t believe I learned this just by cleaning my room.