Updates

It’s been awhile since my last post. I just finished my first week at my new job. I’m enjoying it so far. I’m doing what I’m going to school for, so it’s perfect for me.

I’ve made a lot of friends at work already.

Book wise, the children’s book is coming along very well. I’m hoping to reach the deadline. As for my novel the editing process is still going as smoothly as it possibly can, now that I’m working fulltime. I actually have two jobs…so trying to balance my week job, my weekend job and my non-work related life is going to be a bit of a challenge. I’m not used to waking up at 6 am for work everyday. Right now I’m pretty tired. I know that by next week my body will have adjusted to the new schedule.

On top of all the work I’m doing I’m trying to tone my muscles up. I’ve managed to take off all that stress weight I gained during that train wreck of a year I had back in 2016. I’m feeling energized again and my confidence is finally coming back. I feel mentally and physically stronger. I’ve been trying to build on my upper body strength as well. I’m lacking in that department. I’ve never really been into any sports that require a tone of upper body strength, so I suppose I never really thought that I needed to work those areas. Now I’m doing my best to try to get some exercise in at least once a day, no matter how tired I am. Even if the exercise is simplistic, I want to keep moving so that I can be at my very best. When I physically feel good, all of my creative work is reflective of that.

Anyway, although it is late, I need to get something into my belly. I didn’t have dinner earlier…wasn’t hungry. I really need to stop doing that.

Till next time,

–R.

March 26th

As of March 26th, I’m now 21. My family expressed to me how weird it is. Honestly, I feel the exact same as I did when I was 20, 19, 18, 5.

I’m really grateful that they all drove out to see me, since I wasn’t able to come home this year for my birthday. It meant a lot to me since I’ve been really stressed out with school lately.

As of 12 am I completed my final essay of the school year. Now, all I have to do is get through these last two weeks of classes before exams.

Since I have more free time I’ve also decided that since I am 21, I’m going to sit my butt down and get my novel published. I’ve been working on it since I was 17 years old. It’s about time. So, I’m now going to create a writing and editing schedule for myself so that I can get it done quickly. If I work hard enough I should be finished typing out the good copy by Easter (I usually write by hand).

Well until next time,

–R.

Rejection Letter

So I received the dreaded rejection letter, which included no feedback from the editing board. I know right? Annoying.

My Dad seemed pretty concerned that I would forever be discouraged from writing, and so he had Mom call me. Last time he did that was when he thought I was upset over a breakup. I told him I wasn’t angry at least three times before my Mom called me the next day to ask about the rejection.

“I’m not mad. A little disappointed, but otherwise I don’t care. At least I tried.” I told her, while standing in the basement of the library.

“Good. You don’t wanna let things like that get to you.”

And that was that.

I understand why my Dad worries about me, but when it comes to the things that I love there is nothing that can discourage me enough to stop. I couldn’t possibly stop…my work is an extension of who I am. I’m a writer. I write.

There are people who get hundreds of rejections on a single work before it gets published. It isn’t the end of the world.

“Don’t let your dreams be dreams.”  — Shia LaBeouf.

–R.


Yes, I used to watch shows about Pharaoh’s playing children’s card games….

Off to the Editing Board: A Very Awkward Blog Post…ahahaha

Deleting my poems off of here was really sad…and I just submitted them to be reviewed so, my heart feels like it’ll jump right out.

Well. Hopefully they get chosen….

I’m screaming on the inside right now. Shaking. I’m nervous. Why can’t they tell me now? I don’t want to wait anther two weeks. I want to know how. I NEED to know NOW. This is one of the scariest things I have ever done.

Please, please, please, please, PLEASE pick me!

I’m so nervous.

Has anyone ever felt like this before after sending out their work? How did you deal with it?

I still can’t believe I clicked the send button. They’re gone. My pretties are going to be looked at by strangers…complete strangers.

I’m actually shivering. Maybe it’s cold in here? I forgot to have dinner. What is going on? I can’t believe I did that. I thought I was going to chicken out. I seriously thought I would chicken out. I didn’t cave. I didn’t chicken out. I actually pressed send. I actually submitted my work. I can’t believe it. Wow…I did it. I actually did it. That’s great. That’s really great. This is a good thing. Ha…ha…ha…no need to be nervous. I mean…February isn’t that far away.

NO I LOST INTERNET ACCESS!

Thank God…it sent. It went through. I sent it. I really…sent it.

Okay…goodbye for now…bye…ahahahahahahaha….Oh God.

–R.

 

Submissions, Submissions…Oh What Shall I Send?

Recently I’ve been trying to decide on what I should submit for publishing (for our schools yearly book), however my original idea…has some how vanished into thin air. I was going to submit a story, one that I had not posted onto my blog that was reviewed by my peers…however I’m unable to find it anywhere. So now I am considering my poetry, but like I mentioned before depending on what I submit, I don’t know if I want to have my name on it. Especially since one of my professors will be reviewing the submissions…and well, he’s a tough guy to please sometimes. He’s said it himself. He’s picky when it comes to writing…but he’s a writer himself.

So, I’m thinking of going through some poems that I’ve written, that haven’t been posted anywhere online. The submission cannot have been published before, and I don’t want to be called out for plagiarism because I submitted something I had written four years ago, and posted on one of the many writing websites I’ve been on over the years.

I’m worried that I may not submit anything at all out of fear…fear of what I’m not sure. I don’t know why but when it comes to contests or submitting to collections, I become uneasy. Is it that I suddenly doubt myself? I don’t think so….I think my main issue is that I enjoy my privacy. By having my name on the work I submit…others who know me would see it. Some of the things I write are very personal, whereas other work that I do is say…from a characters perspective. I’ve had people say at times that I write a lot of sad poems, but I also write a lot of happy ones. The thing is that the sad poems I had shared with them were not about myself, so I felt comfortable letting people read them. Whereas the happy poems I’d been writing at the time were…embarrassingly personal. I doubt anyone else will have access to them for a very, very long time.

To think this has me up at midnight. I should be sleeping…but I haven’t been sleeping well. Normally I’m working on something at this hour…writing, drawing…. Not tonight. Tonight I’m thinking. Constantly thinking.

I really want to submit my work, but I’m unsure of what I should share. If I could I’d choose a poem that someone else had read and liked. It would make this process so much easier. If I could just find my story I wouldn’t have to deal with this. Then again I don’t know if it fits the requirements. I feel like it might fall into the category of genre fiction, which isn’t allowed. Then again…it wasn’t meant to fit a particular genre. I just wrote it. Honestly, it was completely out of genre for me. I’ve never written anything like it…and people really enjoyed it. They were surprised by it. Oh well…I’ll think of something. I mean, I could always try writing some new material, but the deadlines this week. I feel like it’d be better not to waste time.

I’d like to have the satisfaction of actually telling people my work has been published versus just talk about all the writing I do. It seems kind of pointless to go on and on about something, when you have nothing to show for it. I’ve been writing stories since I was a little kid. I’d like to be taken seriously. Yes, I write for fun but…I don’t just see my writing as a hobby. I want to be a published author someday. At the rate I’m going, hopefully I can say that very soon.

Confidence, Caution and Publishing

Hola,

I haven’t blogged in a while because I was on vacation. I had taken advantage of being able to schedule blog posts before I left. I’m also recovering as I came down with a fever during my vacation.

So…I’m sort of battling with myself right now. I have the opportunity to have my work published in a collection, however, I’m not sure what it is I want to submit and if what I submit will be accepted. I also am uneasy about having my name on my work…as I always write using a penname. I guess I just don’t want people to judge me.

It has to be work I haven’t previously published…and I don’t know if what I have is honestly any good. I suppose I’m lacking confidence. I can only say that I’ve written two short stories that I’m actually satisfied with…and as for my poetry, I’ve been told it’s good. I find that it is sometimes very corny or very depressing though.

I’ve never really known myself to be so…insecure. I just don’t know how I feel about this. I don’t doubt that my work will be selected…it’s just that the work I choose to submit will have a reflection on me as a person, and that is what concerns me. I don’t always write about myself, especially when it comes to my poetry. More recently, yes, I have been writing more personal poems, however they are not under my real name. My nickname is R, yah, but only my family would recognize that.

Perhaps I’m over thinking this…I haven’t actually entered my work into anything since I graduated from high school. It’s been three years. I mean…I’m going to be publishing my novel soon. I’m going to have to publish my work eventually. I just feel…uneasy. I want to do it, but something is preventing me from making a move. Maybe I’m being too cautious?

–R.

Hello Nanowrimo/Writing Updates

I will be posting a lot more writing updates this month as it is Nanowrimo (hooray!).

So, for my first update I recently did some character designs for a novel that I’m working on. I’d only attempted to draw these characters once before, which was months ago. I’m definitely satisfied with my current take on them. I actually put them in Halloween costumes since I drew the most recent one near the end of October.

As for my other projects I made the decision to redo the illustrations for my children’s book. This was kind of a last minute decision, but I want to be satisfied with my work and I wasn’t happy with how the other drawings turned out. They didn’t really come to life the way I’d wanted them too. I also am taking a children’s literature course right now, and after looking through a lot of the illustrations in these children’s books I just found that the first ones I did were…almost lazy, and in reality the images should draw more attention…they should be more animated. So, back to the rough sketches for round two. Hoping they’ll turn out the way I want them. Once the illustrations are to my liking, I’ll be publishing.

With the rate I’m going at with my novels, the children’s book will most likely come out first…which is completely opposite of what I thought. Originally the book I’d started like…three years ago, I thought I’d be publishing first. As for the one I did character designs for, I hadn’t even planned on extending it into a novel. It began as a short story. So…sometimes things don’t always go according to plan, but I feel like everything has lined up nicely.

Well, those are my updates for now. More are to come. I don’t know if I’ll post them daily or weekly, but whenever I update I will do my best to inform you all.

It’s midnight, so I’d better go to sleep. I’ve dedicated tomorrow to doing chores and homework before my class…so…yah. Hopefully I can squeeze in some writing while I’m waiting for my laundry but you know…homework is a thing. I have to get it done eventually.

Keep writing!

— R.

Blood and Books

At this rate I don’t know if I’ll have enough money to purchase my supplies. That means putting off publishing for another month. That’s depressing…even with a student discount art supplies can cost an arm and a leg.

I really wanted to have these illustrations done by July. I really, really, really hate this. Maybe I’ll sell my blood, my books and my guitar? Then I can have enough to purchase my supplies and a little left over for…one of my bills. Ugh….