Confidence, Caution and Publishing


I haven’t blogged in a while because I was on vacation. I had taken advantage of being able to schedule blog posts before I left. I’m also recovering as I came down with a fever during my vacation.

So…I’m sort of battling with myself right now. I have the opportunity to have my work published in a collection, however, I’m not sure what it is I want to submit and if what I submit will be accepted. I also am uneasy about having my name on my work…as I always write using a penname. I guess I just don’t want people to judge me.

It has to be work I haven’t previously published…and I don’t know if what I have is honestly any good. I suppose I’m lacking confidence. I can only say that I’ve written two short stories that I’m actually satisfied with…and as for my poetry, I’ve been told it’s good. I find that it is sometimes very corny or very depressing though.

I’ve never really known myself to be so…insecure. I just don’t know how I feel about this. I don’t doubt that my work will be selected…it’s just that the work I choose to submit will have a reflection on me as a person, and that is what concerns me. I don’t always write about myself, especially when it comes to my poetry. More recently, yes, I have been writing more personal poems, however they are not under my real name. My nickname is R, yah, but only my family would recognize that.

Perhaps I’m over thinking this…I haven’t actually entered my work into anything since I graduated from high school. It’s been three years. I mean…I’m going to be publishing my novel soon. I’m going to have to publish my work eventually. I just feel…uneasy. I want to do it, but something is preventing me from making a move. Maybe I’m being too cautious?


Hello Nanowrimo/Writing Updates

I will be posting a lot more writing updates this month as it is Nanowrimo (hooray!).

So, for my first update I recently did some character designs for a novel that I’m working on. I’d only attempted to draw these characters once before, which was months ago. I’m definitely satisfied with my current take on them. I actually put them in Halloween costumes since I drew the most recent one near the end of October.

As for my other projects I made the decision to redo the illustrations for my children’s book. This was kind of a last minute decision, but I want to be satisfied with my work and I wasn’t happy with how the other drawings turned out. They didn’t really come to life the way I’d wanted them too. I also am taking a children’s literature course right now, and after looking through a lot of the illustrations in these children’s books I just found that the first ones I did were…almost lazy, and in reality the images should draw more attention…they should be more animated. So, back to the rough sketches for round two. Hoping they’ll turn out the way I want them. Once the illustrations are to my liking, I’ll be publishing.

With the rate I’m going at with my novels, the children’s book will most likely come out first…which is completely opposite of what I thought. Originally the book I’d started like…three years ago, I thought I’d be publishing first. As for the one I did character designs for, I hadn’t even planned on extending it into a novel. It began as a short story. So…sometimes things don’t always go according to plan, but I feel like everything has lined up nicely.

Well, those are my updates for now. More are to come. I don’t know if I’ll post them daily or weekly, but whenever I update I will do my best to inform you all.

It’s midnight, so I’d better go to sleep. I’ve dedicated tomorrow to doing chores and homework before my class…so…yah. Hopefully I can squeeze in some writing while I’m waiting for my laundry but you know…homework is a thing. I have to get it done eventually.

Keep writing!

— R.

Blood and Books

At this rate I don’t know if I’ll have enough money to purchase my supplies. That means putting off publishing for another month. That’s depressing…even with a student discount art supplies can cost an arm and a leg.

I really wanted to have these illustrations done by July. I really, really, really hate this. Maybe I’ll sell my blood, my books and my guitar? Then I can have enough to purchase my supplies and a little left over for…one of my bills. Ugh….

This New Year

There are many goals that I have for myself this new year. I want to do well in school, I want to continue to build long lasting relationships with my friends, I want to lose that last bit of freshman fat I’ve still got lingering on my belly and of course I want to complete my novel.

I started handwriting my novel back in 2013. I was actually shocked when I realized this. The first six novels I wrote took around three months each to complete…although I started those in the 7th grade when I had a lot more free time on my hands. I suppose I also didn’t spend much time focusing on my education, like I have been doing over the last four or five years. I can definitely say that I’ve come a long way academically.

I’ve done a lot of work on my three personal writing projects during the winter break. I like to put a lot of effort into the world of the novel, which is why I think my first novels only took me three months to complete and this one has taken around three years. Before I didn’t do any research or planning. In the 7th grade I simply sat down on the carpet by the radio with a pencil and some paper and I wrote. There was no such thing as writers block and I sure didn’t stress out over any accidental plot holes. In high school I became more serious about my work and started to teach myself how to write better, how to edit and how to research (the library is an excellent tool). I’ve written many things in my lifetime but this year I’m ready to finish this novel and get it published.

I’m looking forward to an awesome new year.

Wishing you all the best!

Don’t get swindled into those diet and work out commercials though. Walking for an hour a day will help you lose weight just as well, and it wont cost a fortune. I’m just saying…especially for those of you who are on a tight budget.

Happy New Year everyone!

— R.

Writing Related Update

I’ve finally gotten myself back into the swing of things. I haven’t really done any writing since I submitted my entry to the competition last week.

You could say that writing competitions are stressful.

I really hope I win.That would be absolutely fantastic. I mean, sure I still get to go to the workshop and learn about publishing novels, but who doesn’t want a could hundred bucks in their pocket before they go off to university?

Anyway, I’m pretty excited about the book I’ve been working on. To be quite honest, I think that I’m falling in love with it. Everything about it is perfect….I refuse to give up on this book like I did with the last. I know what I’m doing now, and I’ve got a ton of experience after editing and rewriting the same novel for…*sighs* almost seven years–I can’t believe I spent that much time of my life on a book that had no actual plot or structure or–.

Well I’m pretty excited and I’m looking forward to having this book published so that people can read it. I hope that they’ll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I think this is the first book that I’ve ever written completely in third person, as I used to only write in first person. Third person however works much better for these types of novels….I don’t want to give away any spoilers.

I’ll be heading off to school in a little while so I’d better stop here.

Hope you’ve all been having a wonderful month.

I’m so happy the snow is finally melting! I’m having a great week. Life is pretty great…especially since I had chocolate milk and a muffin for breakfast today. Now nothing can go wrong!


May the force be with you,


Getting There

As I may have mentioned before on my blog, I prefer to write novels, however this year I have been forced to begin working on creating short stories.
I have to say, I have improved, however I’m still trying to build confidence in myself, as I am often worried about the length and or getting the actual story across.
My most recent short story is only at the beginning and I put it on hold for a couple of days, as I began to stress over it. I pretty much wanted to grab a bag of chips and eat, and eat, and eat which staring at the screen with a blank face like, “God help me.”
Actually, I believe I asked God to help me, and to have mercy upon my soul while forming the idea in my head.
You see, this short story is to be read by universities and looked at by famous local authors. So just try to imagine the amount of pressure you’d be under if you were trying to not only impress local authors but university professors and also get money to help pay for your schooling.
I’m just saying, it’s pretty intense. Wow I feel so loose today writing this. Ha, this is different.
Anyways, I’ll be working on my short story again today. Hopefully I can stop feeling so nervous. I mean, I’m sure it will be fine, and I’ll be getting it looked at by my teacher and will be having it edited by my peers. I don’t feel like I have anything to worry about…. I refuse to bail this time.
Two years ago I meant to enter this competition and I chickened out. I’m going to do it. I won’t talk myself out of it again.
I needed to get this off my chest. I haven’t written a length post in a while, so this is nice. A little venting is great, especially in these situations.

Well happy reading/blogging to everyone.
Hope you all have a great week.
I’ll be sure to update you…I swear I won’t bail out this time!


By the way, I forced myself not to edit this… I have homework and well, if I take the time to edit this instead of working on mu entry and doing my homework then I’d be wasting time, which I sort of already did by writing this post.

Train Story: My Entry for Open Book Toronto

This is a short story that I entered into the Open Book Toronto competition back in December. We were given a prompt, which you can find here. I didn’t end up winning, but it was a fun challenge for me, since I have little experience with writing short stories. Well, I hope you enjoy.

Also, please feel free to give feedback.


Found on Google.

Found on Google.

It was Kris who was the first to react. He jumped up out of his seat and raced towards the closed door; eyes wide. His friends followed him with their faces pale as the three of them watched the knapsack fade off into the distance.

After Caz got his friends to calm down, Jackie decided to go and find someone who could help them figure out what to do. When she returned, she told the two boys that they had been advised to get off at the next stop and walk back to the other station—this was the train’s last root for the day. “Guys I’m really sorry…I should have kept better track of my things.” Jackie choked as she lowered her head.

As usual Caz tried to sooth her. He was always good at keeping things together. The three of them waited until the train came to a stop. Jackie said that she was told the last station was about an hour’s walk from where they were let off, and if they kept at a steady pace they could get there before it got too dark.

“Hey, let’s try taking a short cut.” Kris suggested a sly smirk crawling across his face. Before the others could protest, Kris had already started off into the alley on his own. He looked over his shoulder and grinned deviously. “You guys coming or what?”

“I guess.” Jackie mumbled following in after him.

Caz hesitated for a moment but stormed after them. “Guys this is dangerous. We don’t know this city very well, and—.”

“Don’t be such a baby.” Kris snickered. He pulled himself up onto the fire exit of an old apartment building and shot Caz a daring look. “Should I jump?”

“You’re an idiot.” Caz spat as Kris climbed up to the second set of stairs. He flashed his friends a devious grin that caused Caz to grit his teeth, “Kris you’re wasting time.”

“Guys, please not another fight.” Jackie choked. Without looking at either of the boys she fled from the alley in tears.

The two boys stopped and looked at one another shamefully. Caz waited for Kris to climb down before the two of them went off to look for their friend.

“Ever since you came along she’s been getting mad at me.” Kris said softly as they scanned the street.

“Maybe if you weren’t such an idiot all the time, she wouldn’t be getting so ticked off?” Caz spat.

“I wouldn’t act like such an idiot if she never told me that she liked you!” Kris’ voice echoed out through the darkness; in front of them stood Jackie alone under the glow of a streetlight. The tear stains on her cheeks added to the flushed look on her face. “Let’s go find my bag.” she mumbled, glaring at Kris. She took Caz by the arm.

Slowly, Kris trudged behind his friends in silence. For once he had nothing to say.