I think I miss my family now…

Ugh…I never should’ve watched these clips from kids movies.

Oh well. Gonna see everyone for my mom’s 50th. I’d better get some sleep. I’ll finish my random video watching…colouring…thing later.

I was colouring some pictures I drew of character’s I forgot I made. I didn’t realize that I’d started a really good novel a few years back. I’m shocked at how well it was written. It’s a huge step up from my first few novels. I wish my sister didn’t talk me out of writing that one. She said the introduction was too dark.

She doesn’t like it whenever people die in my stories and I describe their like…deadness.

I should seriously share more drawing on here. I should also sleep now because…I don’t want my professor calling me out because I’m asleep in his class. I was late for the first one because I went to the wrong class and then I lost my keys and…it was a really bad day. So this week I’m going to show up on time and I’ll be all smart and actually try to contribute. I guess being in a class with upper years is a little intimidating at times. Wow…I’m really tired.

Who wants to clean the pencil crayons off my bed for me? I’ll give you peach flavoured juice….and a twizzler.

Alright…I’ll stop being lazy.

— R.

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Rough…

These last few days have been pretty rough. Today I had an exam and there have been a lot of personal family issues going on….

It’s just been rough. I usually bottle everything up inside. I’m a person who keeps to themselves when it comes to stuff like this. Especially with family situations, I feel like I suddenly need to act tough and compose my emotions around others. I realized this after my grandmother passed away. I never knew that I had this strong side to me. I’ve always been the cry baby out of my siblings…I mean I got teary eyed while watching How to Train Your Dragon (haven’t watched it since due to being laughed at). I’m surprised at my own ability to suddenly take on a different role. At times where I myself might be feeling upset and scared, I automatically smile, laugh and go on like everything is perfectly fine so that when those around me need someone strong to hold them up, I can be there for them. I’m not sure if this is exactly healthy…but I do it. I do it all of the time despite how I’m feeling.

Sometimes stuff happens in life that just kicks you in the gut and all you can do is ignore the pain and keep on pushing because the world keeps spinning. Time won’t stop because you’re faced with something that seems impossible…and heart wrenching…and completely out of your control. Life goes on and on and on and that’s it.

I hope I can make it through the rest of this week without completely breaking down. If I’m going to punch my pillow and blast music into my ears then I’d rather do that at home than while I’m here at school.

I hope the sun’s out tomorrow morning…just for a little while. I look forward to seeing the sunshine pouring into my windows.

I can’t stand being in the dark right now…all this grey and black and gloominess isn’t doing me any good. I really don’t want to be away from my family right now. Honestly I want to go home. I know I’m only here for a few days and then I get to be with my folks till September but I’m one of those people who needs to be around their family when stuff is bothering me.

Sorry for making another emo-ish post. I’ve been writing some pretty gloomy stuff lately. I seem to write happier things when I’m collaborating with my sister. She’s a funny kid.

How do you push through rough times?