Falling Asleep

Although I enjoy my new job, balancing my fulltime and part-time jobs is tiring. I find myself falling asleep at the end of the day, and wishing that I had more energy. I haven’t had much time for editing either. It doesn’t help that I’m driving into the city for work everyday. It’s three hours of my life in the car. I don’t know if I’ve ever spent over three hours sleeping before. I’m one of those people that wakes up a few times in the night. Strangely, I’m able to nap during the day no problem.

The good thing about my job is that my students are wonderful. They’ve been having a lot of fun, and they make every single day worth it.

Hopefully now that I’ve finished up some of my lesson plans I can get some rest.

I love finding errors in my blog posts from months ago…they’re so small. Like putting “write” instead of “right” because I’m writing.

A new record store just opened up in the mall. They have a Star Wars record player. It would go so well with my DVD collection, mug, t-shirt and…anyway, too bad I already have one collecting dust in my basement. I considered buying my Dad one of the Beach Boys albums for Fathers Day…until a little voice in the back of my head said, “He probably has this one.” because I knew all the songs.

I asked, he has it. I guess it would’ve been a cheap gift anyway, I mean…it was $9.00. Or it may have actually been $19.00 and the one just didn’t print on the little sticker. I noticed that with a few of the other CDs.

I know that most people don’t bother buying music anymore (I just use a YouTube playlist) but there’s this…feeling of joy you get when you get a new CD, with songs you know and songs that you’ve never even heard of. The moment it starts to play, it’s like you’re inside of a movie. Every song tells a story, and you can get lost for hours just listening to them over and over. The little booklets that come along with it, with the lyrics and pictures, and all of the album art add to the feeling. It’s another world. Or…maybe it’s just me.

Well, it’s 7 am now. I’d better get myself registered for my courses. I don’t want them filling up on me now.

Happy, Happy Birthday!

Today is a very special day, for starters it’s my sister’s birthday. She’s 19 now, and officially allowed to go to clubs and casinos. Though I’ve told her…I really don’t think she should try gambling.

It is also the 4th Anniversary of this blog! I can’t believe it’s already been this long.

I also don’t know why I’m awake so early…I’m just waiting till 7 am so I can register for my courses. Apparently I can’t register at 5 in the morning.

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Image from Google. Not my own.

Happy Birthday Sis.

Hope you enjoy your gift.

Yesterday was…nuts.

Yesterday was…nuts. I don’t know how else to describe it. The whole moving process was really disorganized on the landlords part, so I wasn’t able to pick up the keys to my new apartment until 3 o’clock, and that’s when the rain started coming down pretty hard.

My Dad, Uncle, sister and I spent till around 5 o’clock trying to move everything in the rain. I’m glad my Uncle brought his truck over, because I don’t know how we would’ve lugged all that furniture around with all that rain beating down on us. Half the time I couldn’t see. I ended up taking my glasses off because it was blurrier with them on than off.

I feel bad for my Dad and Uncle because we had to go from my apartment which is two hours away from where I life, to my Nana’s to move the stuff outta the truck to my Dad’s car and then everyone had to drive home from there. It of course stopped raining when we got to my Nana’s…and the sun suddenly appeared.

“Curse you Canadian weather!”

It’s been a long time since I’ve walked around with my teeth chattering. Crawling into my childhood bed was probably the best feeling ever when I got home last night. We didn’t get here till 10…and spent time taking stuff out of the car and then lugging it up the stairs. It was a long, long day.

My sister and I didn’t eat anything till about 7 o’clock before we got to my Nana’s. I kept falling asleep in the truck. I’m still pretty tired actually. All I want to do right now is have a nice warm breakfast, and watch cartoons but all my muscles hurt. I think I’ll just waddle downstairs. I keep forgetting my parents have work…for some reason today feels like Saturday. Man…I really don’t want to go back to work just yet. I know I should start as soon as possible but I need a day or two. I went to bed with wet hair…just realized how smart that was…it’s still wet. Shoot. Oh well…I’m gonna go find some of my sweaters. I’m freezing.

–R.

Moving Day

Well I finished packing sometime around 3am…and woke up at 6. I couldn’t seem to sleep. I’m full of all this energy right now. I’m just waiting for 10 o’clock to hit so that I can start moving into my new apartment.

My roommates parents just had the luxury of seeing me in my pajamas. Messy hair, baggy sweat pants and all. I didn’t know they were here. When I heard someone come in this morning I assumed it was my roommate by themselves. Ha…oh well. Isn’t the first time I’ve stumbled upon guests while still in my pajamas. Although wearing one of my Dad’s company shirts is a little awkward. I mean I did some temp work there before…but I don’t have any intention of working in the medical field.

My bedroom walls are bare. No colour in sight. I had drawings and posters all over the place, and now it’s just blank grey space. Oh well, it can be someone else’s canvas now. I’ve always wanted to paint and draw all over a wall in my house. Perhaps when I have my own place and won’t have to pay damages because I drew a random dinosaur on the wall.

I’m sooo hungry right now. I mean, lately I’ve been only having one meal a day. Yesterday I managed to get two meals in. Lucky me. I decided to go for one last poutine before heading home for the summer. Definitely a wise decision. Unfortunately all I have left to eat is apple sauce…but I packed away all my spoons. All I have is this cup of water…and an entire bag of candy. Sadly, my stomach can’t handle eating candy first thing in the morning.

I’m praying it doesn’t rain while we’re moving all this stuff, and loading up the car. I wanted to try to organize what was going home and what was staying here but I decided not to crowd the hallway with all of my stuff.

I honestly cannot wait to go home. All I want to do is sit down and write. I don’t know what day I’m gonna head back to work…I mean, technically I don’t want to go back but I need the money. Somehow I ended up blowing $100 the other day. Yah…apparently splitting the bill when I’m with my younger sister means that she pays $30 and I pay $100. Bye, bye birthday money. Least I still have $275 for my trip. Depending on how many shifts I get at work, I can probably earn that money back pretty quickly.

Seriously though…if they pull any of the stunts they have in the past I’m going to resign. I’m not putting up with the nonsense anymore. I can only bite my tongue for so long. I don’t want any unnecessary stress. I need this time off from school to finally come to terms with a lot of the stuff that’s happened over the past year. There’s a lot of stuff that I didn’t have time to properly deal with, that I need to take care of.

Well, it’s finally 9 am, so I think I’ll start getting dressed. I want to get my keys as soon as possible so that I can start moving the smaller stuff before my folks come to help. I don’t think they need to help me carry pillows and dishes around. Man…it’d be nice to have a car though. That’d make life easier. Who knows maybe I’ll end up with one by the end of the summer. I highly doubt it…with my bank account….maybe once I make some serious money.

Kind of sad that at my age most people don’t have cars, but by the time my Dad was my age, he had gone through 3.

I really wish I was editing right now but I don’t have time. I knew if I rummaged through my backpack and pulled out my rough draft that I’d be going at it, and the morning would zip by. I didn’t want to end up sitting on my mattress trying to type up three or four chapters and then have my Dad banging on the front door wondering where the heck I am.

Well…I guess I’ll start getting ready.

Till next time,

–R.

Books, Editing, Books.

So last night I wrote my final exam of the school year. Thank God. I was ready to be done with my courses back in March. It felt like the year just kept dragging on.

Now that that’s over with I now have time to edit my novel and work on my own projects. My goal is to complete this first edit by next week. I’ve already finished a good chunk, and I figure if I create a schedule I’ll be able to finish by then.

Setting deadlines for myself is extremely helpful, because when I first began writing I couldn’t stop. It was as if no matter what I had to write. Ever since I put my first novel on hold, I’ve been writing in a more…staggered pattern. Usually bouncing between projects, or suddenly choosing to do work out of the blue. It may also have to do with the fact that I’m an English major and I’m being forced to read and write versus doing it because I find it enjoyable.

I’ve recently been asked if I’ve been compiling a list of beta readers and editors. At this time I have a very rough idea of people, however it isn’t set in stone. I decided early on that I wouldn’t ask until I was satisfied with my own edits. Once that’s done I’ll let other people review it.

My Mom attempted to peak at my writing during Easter. I don’t believe I have ever shown her my writing. I’m not sure if it is her taste, and also she tends to prefer reading non-fiction. I think I’ll let her read this novel…since honestly it is a hundred times better than the six book series I’d been working on back in the day…yikes.

Anyway, at this point in time I feel like I’m in the very early stages of editing. I’m trying to tweak the first half of the novel which was written in 2013 to fit my current writing. It can be a little tricky at times, because there are sentences I really like and then there are sentences that I completely tear apart and rearrange. I think when I had started the novel I was trying to work on being more descriptive. This was before I realized that I really enjoy writing dialogue, and began using that to push the story along versus dragging out scenes where I described the colour of the wall. Don’t get my wrong, I don’t dislike lengthy descriptions but unless describing the scene is significant to that particular passage I don’t see a point in making my readers go through “Charles Dickens–like” descriptions.

I’m not bashing Charles Dickens, I just scored one of his novels the other day for only a buck. I have a little collection of his work. Oliver Twist is still my favourite so far, but it might just be because I used to rent Oliver and Company from the library every Friday with my Mom when I was in kindergarten. Those were the good old days. How did my parents not see this coming? I mean, I preferred reading Curious George and Cat in The Hat over going to my swimming lessons. I’ve had a journal since the first grade. I started writing stories when I was like five years old…very interesting ones. Mostly about animals…and occasionally “zoom-bies” but hey, we all start somewhere.

Not to mention my Nana is a book lover, and so are my aunt and uncle on my Dad’s side. I’ve been exposed to people who love to read, and my Dad shares the same name as a well known author (yes he’s been asked to sigh books before).

Yah…how did they not see this? Then again it was my neighbour who told them to put me into music. I Guess the only thing they really noticed was my love for drawing. My Nana actually made a scrap book of drawings I made as a little kid. They’re not terrible.

Well…I have a few things I’d like to do this morning. They’re not exactly work related but I just wrote an exam last night I want to relax for a bit, before I decide to suddenly jump into editing. I’ll probably do a few chapters this afternoon. I also want to do a bit of sketching this weekend.

Well bye for now,

–R.

 

Study, Study, Exam, Sleep…bleh…

I’m almost done exams. I’m so glad. I’ve spent the last few days doing review for a course, and I still have yet to study for my final (yikes!) but oh well. I just want to get this over and done with. I have no doubt that I’ll do well on this exam. I’m usually very calm when I have exams…some people find that strange but I’m grateful for it whenever I talk to my friends because I’m able to also put other people at ease a little bit.

It’s always good to have one calm person around when you’re feeling anxious about something. I know that from performing. I usually can pull off a calm appearance, however inside I’m like “Ah! What is this? Why? Why am I up here? All these people are looking at me!”

Despite all my studying I have managed to do some writing, and I’ve read a couple of books as well. I should have been reading books for my one exam but I guess I have all afternoon today and tomorrow morning for that. I really just need to review some authors names and get familiar with certain passages that we discussed in class.

I’m so glad my last two exams are literally 5 minutes from my apartment because I just wanna write, come home and go to bed. I tried to go to bed around 12 am last night, but instead I think I ended up going to bed around 2 am. I watched cartoons until around 1:20 am…and then I lied down on my pillow and thought about random stuff for a while. I couldn’t sleep. It was like my brain was still going over my notes. I was still studying in between theme songs. I used to do that back in my first year of university. I have to say, studying in between commercials and theme songs is effective. It doesn’t feel like you’re studying but when you take a break and do say…30 minutes of review and then take a break and watch something or go for a run, I find you actually remember more than when you try to cram everything in last-minute.

I really don’t feel like putting on jeans or anything to go write an exam. It’s funny cause for my last exam I was…basically dressed to go out somewhere important…this exam is early in the morning. Sweats. All. Day. I’m in the mood to feel comfortable. I would rather just go, write, come home and sleep for a few hours. Trust me…I need the sleep.

Try to imagine studying for an exam in which half of the questions are related to sleep, and or the lack of and you haven’t been sleeping properly. Yah…so I’m gonna get me some proper sleep. I also haven’t had more than one meal a day. I went out for sushi on Monday with my sister and her friend. So I ate that…and then yesterday I made us some steaks for dinner. So in the last two days all I’ve had was steak and sushi. Now…I did eat half of my chocolate bunny that my aunt gave me on the weekend (all the kids got them…even the big kids), but chips for breakfast and lunch is honestly disgusting. I can’t do…I don’t know why I did it. We’re out of milk and bread and eggs…certain things we just don’t need to buy because we’re done for the school year. I really just wanna write this exam. I feel like I should be writing it at this very second.

Other than the little bit of writing I got to do in between studying, I also managed to draw a bit, which was pretty cool. Write now I’m praying that everything goes well. The beginning of the school year was extremely stressful, and I think because of that I ended up slacking off a ton throughout the year. I couldn’t deal with the stress…so there were things that I avoided and I do regret doing so. At the same time, I’m glad I was able to get through all of it. There are people I know who went through some really rough stuff this year and they had a lot of trouble trying to cope. It was too much on them…and thankfully they had people around who were able to be there for them when the time came.

I know that because of my personality, I tend to try to suck it up and hold things in. I get it from my Dad. He and my sister might have similar personalities…to the point where they’re almost the same person but I did adopt that trait. I guess that’s part of why I end up snapping once in a while. People can only handle so much. If I don’t have an outlet then I end up bottling everything inside. Over time I start to feel heavy. If you’ve ever opened up a bottle of pop that’s been shaken, that’s almost what it’s like. Suddenly all of this stuff comes shooting out and there’s no way to stop it…but after a few minutes everything’s calm and it seems as if nothing happened. I guess the only difference between myself and a bottle of pop is that I can clean myself up after I explode. It is definitely one thing I’d like to change about myself, because people assume I’ll just put up with certain things. Usually if I see another person who is being mistreated I get up and say something without thinking…I’ve been like this since I was a kid. However, when it comes to myself I do the whole three strike thing.

Anyway, I’m feeling a lot more…awake now. I’m ready to go and write this exam. I just wanna go in any ace this and then come home and embrace my pillow. I often express my relationship to my pillow when I write about my character who doesn’t sleep…he and I have a lot in common. Besides…well…some stuff I won’t mention since that would spoil the story.

Novel Update

I started editing this morning around 6 am, and managed to get through three more chapters. I still have a lot to go, but my stomach is bothering me so I felt it would be best to take a break. I think that I’m going to have some toast for breakfast, and then do a bit of reading.

I’ve finally had a chance to catch up on books that I’d bought a year or two ago and due to how my schedule was I didn’t have the time to read them. It’s nice being able to read books I actually chose for myself versus assigned readings. Not to say that my professors don’t choose the odd gem, but I’ll be frank (“hi Frank”), the majority of the books I’m forced to read for school I barely get passed the first three chapters. I skim them…sometimes only reading the dialogue or anything that catches my eye. Of course a lot of the books that they choose have almost no dialogue whatsoever. I tend to write a lot of dialogue…my creative writing teachers have said that’s what they like best about my writing. So perhaps that’s why? I just enjoy dialogue…maybe because of all the comic books I read? Who knows. Still, a lot of the books I get assigned are difficult to get into. They’re not very exciting. Sometimes the writing is extremely poetic and gorgeous but despite the words being beautiful the text isn’t saying anything at all. So, being able to read what I want is a nice change.

I just finished reading Tokyo ESP. The amount of references made to superhero’s like Spider-man and Batman is ridiculous, but it made the book more enjoyable. If you’re into manga or graphic novels I definitely recommend it. There’s a flying penguin, how cool is that!? Now I’m reading a novel called The Painted Girls. I’ve read 52 pages so far. I always had the problem of misplacing my bookmarks as a kid…so I taught myself to memorize the page numbers. I know it’s weird. Anyway, I’m really enjoying this book so far. I picked up some more manga at Chapters back on Tuesday. My Nana reserves novels for me that she thinks I’ll enjoy, and I got birthday money and Chapters gift cards so…I’ll be hanging out among the books for a while. Since purchasing The Painted Girls two years ago, and Galore I haven’t spent my money on novels that weren’t for school. I also haven’t had the time to read them. My Nana gave me four novels: three last year and one back in December. I still have to get those read before she gives me the next batch.

She said, “I have some books for you, but they’re adult books.” since I told her I’d finished reading a comic book the day before. I wouldn’t recommend Tokyo ESP to my five-year old niece, but I’m guessing my Nana can’t tell the difference when it comes to comics. My Dad never used to like reading as a kid, and she ended up giving me a bunch of his old comic books. They’re huge by the way. I can’t imagine trying to carry that around with me. I’ve always enjoyed books…that’s why I’ve been writing my own since kindergarten. Although…the things I wrote in kindergarten probably shouldn’t be seen by another human being…they were weird. I wrote about a zombie once…but I spelt zombie like “zoom-bie” and yah…the zoom-bie only wanted some friends. It was basically a four-year olds take on Frankenstein. The illustrations were pretty great.

Since my niece found out that I write books and make videos and music, whenever she comes over she wants to do the same. So, we take some paper, staple it together in the middle and then she says, “You can be the author and I’ll be the illustrator” and tells me what I should write.  She comes up with some interesting stories. Many Disney characters tend to appear in the story. Who knew that Princess Jasmin and Aladdin rode a magic carpet? Apparently we’re also going to start a band because she has a recorder and a ukulele and I have a keyboard and a guitar. I don’t know what we would call our band but…we definitely need some practice. Between the squeaking of my guitar strings and the whistling from her recorder…we’ve created a very…unique sound for our listeners (sorry fam).

I’m so glad I managed to get some writing done this morning. I was starting to worry that I’d end up slacking today because of my stomach. Glad that I didn’t. Maybe I’ll do some more in the afternoon. I’m still a bit tired but I think I need to put something in my belly…it just feels weird. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with what I are last night. I started feeling gross after dinner so…who knows. It annoys me that whenever I’m not feeling well, I want to go for a run. I could go for a run anytime, but whenever I’m like this where my stomach is bugging me or I’ve got a massive headache I want to go on this intense run around the track. I need to lose weight anyway. Despite the fact that I barely eat more than one meal a day. I seriously need to get fit though. I can’t stand being so unhealthy. Of course, Easter is coming up so I’ll be fed all sorts of goodies. I’ll force myself to get fit anyway. I really don’t want to put on anymore weight. I managed to lose some back in December, and at the moment I feel as though I either put some back on or…it just shifted around. I just want to feel healthier. Exercise helps me relax and whenever I’m active I can think clearly. Well, I think I’ll go make something to eat.

Till next time,

–R.

 

Money, School, Life

I’ve realized today that I need to stop spending money. Before my sister moved in with me, I rarely ever went out so I didn’t spend any money unless I needed to buy groceries. Now that she’s living with me I’m ordering food all of the time (which I never did on my own), and I’m going all over the place. My 21st birthday was on Sunday, so I just got some money…and I won’t be working till May. I’m still here for another month and need to buy groceries. Sadly, I don’t want to use my birthday money for groceries because I’m saving that for a weekend trip I have coming up.

I’m usually really good with my money. I’ve never been a big spender…but then suddenly this year I’m always buying food. I don’t know if my spending is entirely linked to my sister moving in, because both of us had a very stressful year. Perhaps I spent more because I was going out to distract myself?

My sister pointed out to me that I should carry my notebooks and binders around with me everywhere like I used to, so I can work on my novels all the time. I wouldn’t mind doing that, except that I wouldn’t want people looking over my shoulder to see what it is I’m working on…and also, I get extremely paranoid when it comes to my binders and sketchbooks. I have to know where they are…and that they’re safe. If I plan on being away for more than a few days, I pack them in my luggage. I don’t know when I became so attached to them. It’s like they’ve become an extension of me. I used to be like this with my old teddy bear…so perhaps I’m just one of those people? I wonder if my future spouse will find this weird….I know my parents do.

I think that my sister understands it a little better. She’s an artist. We’ve been editing her latest work recently. She makes comics. They’re honestly really good. We’re both very critical of each others work (she’s harsher than I am), so having each other edit the first draft is always good. Her stories are funny. She used to share them with her class. Actually she’s won two awards now for her work. Lucky duck. She used to have her friends circle around her while they read her comics and they’d always go “Any updates yet!?” I’m still trying to convince her to share some of her work online. We’ll see. Maybe once she’s finished with her exams. She’s an artist, an athletic and a bio-chem major. Weird combination, I know. We’re both kind of like that though…except I’m not so good at math or science. I read. I’m really good at history…in the sense that I can remember random facts off the top of my head. Whenever I had to write papers for my classes back in high school I’d be told they sounded like stories or poems…which I can’t deny. I’m a creative writer first. Essays I do because I’m asked, not because I enjoy them.

Well, this is all for now. I’m working on my writing schedule, which I’m going to double as an exercise schedule as well. I just want to get into shape before I start working. The weathers just been really cold…I like to exercise outdoors. Especially since the trail is near the river. The scenery is perfect.

–R.

March 26th

As of March 26th, I’m now 21. My family expressed to me how weird it is. Honestly, I feel the exact same as I did when I was 20, 19, 18, 5.

I’m really grateful that they all drove out to see me, since I wasn’t able to come home this year for my birthday. It meant a lot to me since I’ve been really stressed out with school lately.

As of 12 am I completed my final essay of the school year. Now, all I have to do is get through these last two weeks of classes before exams.

Since I have more free time I’ve also decided that since I am 21, I’m going to sit my butt down and get my novel published. I’ve been working on it since I was 17 years old. It’s about time. So, I’m now going to create a writing and editing schedule for myself so that I can get it done quickly. If I work hard enough I should be finished typing out the good copy by Easter (I usually write by hand).

Well until next time,

–R.