5th Blogiversary

My blog is officially 5 years old!

I keep forgetting that it shares a birthday with my sister (well her’s is tomorrow).

I started this blog in 12th grade before I graduated high school…now I’ve graduated again this year. How bizarre is that.

I haven’t been blogging recently which has been bugging me, but every time I’ve had to log onto my computer recently, its to do work. Work. Work. Work. And not my fun work…like…just writing papers and filling out forms kind of work.

I’ve been writing a lot through: creating characters, writing scripts, working on my novel, editing.

I’ve also spent a lot of my free time day dreaming. I spend a lot of time up in my head.

I’d like to get back into the habit of blogging once a week, but like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I like to give updates when I’ve actually gotten a lot of progress done.

Recently I’ve begun writing the second book in my novel series. I’m a little bummed because I had to set it aside for about…two weeks now because I had work. Getting up at 4 am everyday for work is gonna take me some getting used to.

I’m suddenly hungry…and I just ate…sigh.

Anyway, the progress I’ve made so far I’m pretty happy with. I actually made myself laugh out loud while writing, which is good because one of my creative writing professors pointed out that I tend to write really depressing, cold sounding pieces. I’m not a depressing person, I promise.

Yesterday I wrote a song about a chicken…who know one wanted to dance with at the club because he had nasty flow…and…actually it was a pretty depressing song. Thankfully, I’ve never been rejected a dance. Although…I haven’t been to a club since I was 19 (Canada eh) and…it wasn’t much fun. Everyone had to leave because this guy threw up everywhere…plus I’m not much of a drinker…or much of a nightlife person.

Back on topic. Yah, I made myself laugh, and now that I’m older I actually understand new emotions, and I can actually convey things that I wanted to express when I started my novel five years ago.

I’d really, really like to hire an editor but it’s just not in the funds right now. Like…I have $60 to my name. Everything else goes straight to paying for courses right now. School is expensive. I know I’m not going to get a loan from my parents for that…they already feed me. I’m trying to work out some sort of plan for that. I just think it would be easier. Not all of my beta readers are the editing type. Most are just folks who love to read. What is great about them is that they are about to point out plot holes or any inconsistencies within the novel! Thankfully with this final draft of my novel I haven’t heard anything of the sort from them. In my earliest draft…ha…well…I mean…it was five years ago. The feedback I got then really helped me shape my novel into what it is today. If I were to get free editing…it would be from two of my relatives who are big readers, and one who has actually published before. The only thing is that I’m a bit weary of having my work reviewed and edited by my family right now because I don’t want biased feedback. I only know one person in my family who will always be brutally honest with me about my work, and that is my sister. My sister doesn’t kiss butt. My sister doesn’t blindly throw compliments around. My sister gives praise when someone truly earns it, and isn’t shy about giving constructive criticism. That’s why I’ll usually ask her for some quick feedback for a scene or something.

I’ll figure it out…maybe if I put away a portion of my pay every week I’ll be able to afford an editor. I’ve actually been looking around. If I do that, it means I’ll be behind in my publishing schedule though…but at the same time, it allows for me to keep working on my second book in the series so that my readers won’t have to wait too long for the next installment. I know how frustrated I used to get waiting for a new book to be released in a series…and how disappointed I was when authors rushed the writing of them. It’s obvious. Honestly, take it from a reader/writer, DO NOT rush your books. I get that we all need to make money to eat and whatever, but I cannot stress this enough. Your readers know when you’re cutting corners. They know your potential. If they follow you, don’t disappoint them.

Yikes…it’s cold in here.

Well, I’d better get to work…oh joy…it’s alright this work is actually fun. It’s actually character creating work. I’m just a little sleepy is all. I have to spend all evening working on boring stuff…seeing as how I procrastinated that as usual and left it till the last-minute.

Part of me really, really wants to go buy a frozen lemonade from Tim Horton’s despite the weather being all dreary and what not.

I seriously don’t feel well. I don’t know what’s going on with me lately. I keep blaming it on the change in my sleep schedule or not drinking enough water…but I’m praying I feel better soon.  I don’t like to feel under the weather when I’ve got so much on my plate.

Happy blogging everyone,

–R.

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“Cough, Cough, Cough, HICCUP! Ow….”

I’ve lost a ton of sleep recently due to this stupid cough. To make matters worse, I had the hiccups the over night…and one doesn’t know pain until they’ve hiccuped and coughed at the same time. I feel like I’ve been doing some serious ab workouts for the last 24 hours.

I tried to take a nap earlier today to catch up on some sleep but I kept coughing…so instead I had left over turkey and stuffing and have been watching cartoons. I made some tea…it’s kind of helping to sooth my throat. I’ve also been sucking on those Fisherman’s Friend lozenges. My Dad had a ton at home so my Mom gave me them to take back to my place.

I can’t wait to move out of here. Only a few things left to pack. I can’t believe it’s over…four years went by pretty quick. I guess it was the same with high school. It all kind of zips by and the next thing you know you’ve gotta find a real job so that you can pay your bills.

I wish this stupid cough would go away. I really wanna be able to get a good nights rest. I didn’t fall asleep until 1 am last night…and even then I kept waking up coughing. Not to mention I have a group project that involves me talking to do and my voice keeps coming and going as it pleases.

As for my writing and stuff, as soon as my exams are finished I’m back to work. I’ve taken too long of a break from my projects. There’s a lot I want to do. I feel like I can write some stuff out a lot better now that I’ve experienced more…I mean at least the stuff I’ve experienced in my 22 years of life. I’ve only really been an “adult” for a little while. I’ve still got my training wheels on…I probably will until after I have kids. Honestly I don’t think being an adult gets any easier, parents probably just get really good at faking that they’ve got everything under control. That’s my theory.

Yep…until exams are done I’ll probably do more drawing. It’s relaxing…and honestly it’s just a nice way to unwind after a long day. To draw…ink and colour while listening to some of my favourite tunes…it always puts me in the best mood.

Anyway I can’t stop coughing so I’m gonna end this post here…and pray that I feel better soon. This really hurts….

–R.

Hopes and Fears

In our lives there will always be hopes and fears popping in and out of our heads. Some nights they dance about as I try to shut my eyes and scatter about the room as I toss and turn, trying to settle my mind. When I wake up I’m in a daze before they come rushing back.

I try to wake up feeling excited versus anxious, about the things to come. I try not to think of the ever-growing list of things I need to do for the day and take my time getting ready. Still by the time I realize I’m running behind schedule, these hopes and fears are there waiting by the door. I try to keep them locked up but they must have figured out how to climb through the window.

No matter. I can always stick my headphones in and ignore them. The music will drown them out…although I do like the hopes very much, so I let them dance while I walk to the rhythm of the morning. They’re warm like the sun and brush gently across my skin. They make my heart pound heavily, but the heaviness is nice…it lets me know that I’m still alive and as I get lost in my hopes I pull out my phone and suddenly fear sinks its teeth into me.

Being late, not having things done, forgetting something back at home…all of the little fears that poke and pick at me throughout the day. Sometimes it’s easy to ignore them and other times I can’t. I think about kicking them, or stomping on them…but at the same time being so carefree isn’t always a good thing. Things need to get done. I have places I need to go, people I need to meet, work I need to finish…and the ever-growing list of little fears pushes me to get them done. My heart races when the fears start to slither about. They slip between my ankles, wrap around my throat…they nearly suffocate me…and yet I’m still alive.

My hopes  tug at me and my fears start to pull back. Both clawing at my arms and legs and face. I can’t seem to decide which way to go, so I sit in the grey…and I wait. I procrastinate. I pretend everything is nothing, and that nothing is everything. It’s a numb place to be, and very boring…there’s no music or colour. There are no hopes and no fears…so I let them back in and let the battle begin, until night-time comes again and I begin to dream.

22

I’m twenty-two today. Seems a bit weird….

This year has definitely been an adventure. I’ve tried new things, had some good days, some bad and I’m getting ready to graduate.

My family treated me to dinner the other night which was really fun. I was getting a bit home sick honestly, and just getting to spend time with my family was nice. I finally get to head home for Easter.

Being twenty-one was fun…but I’m home twenty-two will be less stressful. I’d definitely say that the start of your twenties is pretty rocky but that’s usually how transitions are. I’m definitely trying to take my time growing up. I’m not in any rush to be a full fledged “adult” yet…but I know I’m not a kid anymore. I’m going to try and enjoy whatever comes my way this year.

–R.

 

 

Show Time!

The past week has been extremely busy, but it’s also been a lot of fun. I have some work that I need to catch up on this week, but other than that I’m feeling great.

There’s just something about performing that makes me feel joy. I like to make stories come to life for others. It’s spectacular. It’s been years since I’ve been in an actual staged production, and I was worried that I might be nervous but surprisingly I felt great. No nerves in sight. I was pumped. I was so full of energy. By the end of the night all I wanted to do was sleep…but that excitement is lingering inside of me. Only a few shows left…then back to my boring routine.

I’m definitely going to miss everything about this school, my friends, my professors…and this small little city. I love it here. I’m sad to leave but it’s time to start a new chapter in my life.

I was nervous about coming here, and now I’m nervous about leaving. I think deep down, I was starting to believe that I’d spend the rest of my life here. Silly that I’d go so far to imagine living here permanently.

I’m ready to graduate. I’m 100% ready. I really don’t want to bother doing the silly graduation photos and what not…but my parents want them so I guess I have to. I just want to take some nice pictures. I rarely smile in these kinds of photos.I really just wanna get my diploma and dip. I’m ready to move on.

I have to write some tests today, so I’d better stop blogging. I’m feeling pretty sleepy at the moment…so I wanna wake myself up with a warm drink before I have to catch the bus.

Once I’m done being busy, and I’ve caught up on my studies I’ll jump back into working on my novels and such.

–R.

Long Time No Update

Lately school has been so busy, that I haven’t had time to work on any of my own projects. It’s a bummer but at least the year is wrapping up. I’d like to say that I have a book update but I don’t have anything new to report right now. I would like to start looking at cover artists and such, but for now I need to focus on finishing up the school year.

Hopefully my next post will have something interesting to report.

–R.

 

Happy New Year!

It’s still New Years Eve, but I wanted to give a quick update as to my novel progress. My novel is currently going through the “reader” phase, which may possibly result in a 4th edit. I’m pretty nervous honestly, but I know I’m going to get some good, constructive feedback that will really help me with my writing.

Wishing everyone a safe and happy New Year this coming 2018!

I’ll do my best to post more. December was a busy month for me due to exams and just…school related everything. Then suddenly it was Christmas and once I finished my editing stuff I went straight to playing with all my new gifts (Thanks Santa).

–R.

Novel Update: 4th Anniversary

Today the 4th Anniversary of my novel. It’s hard to believe that I began writing this book back when I was still a high school student.

I’ve come along way since I started the first page of my draft back in 2013. I’ve had experiences which helped me add more to the story that I couldn’t back when I was in high school. I completed the hardcopy version, and edited it. I’ve begun looking more into my publishing options. I’ve also been apply to Graduate school…which is weird. On top of that I’ve started the draft of the second book in the series (yep there’s more than one book).

I’m honestly can’t wait to have lots of people read it.

Not only that but my children’s book is finally becoming a reality. The illustrations are fantastic.

Despite all of the ups and downs I’ve had recently and all that occurred during these past four years, I’m glad to say that my book will definitely be published. I defeated my writers block, and jumped over the hurdles thrown in my path.

Seeing my words printed on paper is a wonderful feeling. I’ll have to print off another draft soon, and send copies to my other beta readers…who I am seriously thankful for.

I’m excited for this. I’m really excited. I haven’t had a lot to look forward to recently…well that’s not true, I’ve just been extremely busy and haven’t had any time to myself.

I’m also very…very short on money right now.  I only make a little money and apparently it costs around $100 every time you apply to a schools graduate program. So if I apply to four schools that’s $400…$400 that come out of my groceries, and bill payments. I have to pay my bills this week. I’m pretty sure it was a set fee back when I was in high school. You paid $100 for a total of three university applications. Why do they think that suddenly these same students are making millions of dollars four years later? I think I had more money when I was in high school. I didn’t spend money on anything but books. I didn’t have to pay rent, and pay for my heat and hydro. I didn’t buy my own groceries either. It wasn’t like I had to budget $100 every month for food and such. I also didn’t have to clean up after my roommates…who continue to do things that they agreed they wouldn’t do before I selected them as roommates.

I’m definitely considering living on my own next year. I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s mess. I can shower without pulling back the curtain and finding God knows what. My kitchen won’t smell like rotting meat, and since I’m the only person who lives here who knows how to take out the trash…and to use a trash can…then I won’t need to worry about people not pulling their weight. Too bad rent is expensive and it’s easier to divide it up between four people. Seriously…this is a pain in the butt.

Anyway, I have class soon so I’d better finish up my breakfast.

I hope everyone is surviving this weird weather.

Till next time,

–R.

NANOWRIMO: Children’s Book Update

The illustrations for the book are even better than I imagined. My story has completely come to life. I can’t wait to show them off. I’m very excited about finally adding the text to the images.

I hope Nanowrimo is going well for everyone. I’ve been extremely busy with school and…life in general so I haven’t had much time to post this month. Not as much as I’d have liked anyway.

I have a meeting today so I have to keep this short.

I hope you’ll check out the book when it’s published!

–R.

Nanowrimo

Since, I already finished writing my novel, I think I’ll continue with my editing during Nanowrimo. I’ve also been debating working on my other writing projects that I’ve temporarily put on hold due to…well…business.

I’m tired. I don’t like to admit it, but I am. I have three practices a week for two different things. One practice runs 7 hours. My legs are sore from training. I have placement in between two of my practices, and my only real free day is Sunday. Now I have to begin preparing for another assignment and I have a test this week. Probably tomorrow. I didn’t check. I still need to study. I wouldn’t say I’m under as much stress as I was last year but I’m definitely still busy. I enjoy the things I’m doing…mostly. Part of me just wants to graduate already. Some days I want time to slow down and others, I wish it would zip by. I’d love it if I could fast forward to the end of April. However…I’d still be training and practicing but I’d be doing something I enjoy.

I have so many things that I need to get done. I’m running a school club, going to rehearsals, training, studying, writing, editing…I’m supposed to be exercising outside of my training too. I have a practicum starting today so there’s that too. I’m just praying I get a good group. I want to be as helpful as I can.

Now I have a stomach ache…for some weird reason. Was it the apple I ate or the brownies? I shouldn’t eat brownies for breakfast. I know better. I need to go grocery shopping. Can people get stomach aches from being stressed? I should think about what I want to have for lunch later so that I don’t end up eating a whole bunch of junk. I’m thinking I’ll make burgers for dinner tonight. I like burgers.

I feel like I’m trying to juggle all of the different areas of my life. Responsibilities, hobbies, school, work. I always think back to what my dad told me, which is that a person doesn’t have to do just one thing. However, I know that because of what I’m doing I need to separate these things. I can do them all, and enjoy myself but because of one of my career paths, I need to be careful of the choices I make.

If I didn’t have class today I’d just sleep. Yesterday I forced my sister to tag along with me while I looked for new track pants. I never ended up buying any. They were all over priced. I got a good chicken souvlaki pita though. I really just needed to get out of the house. I felt like I wasn’t able to do anything for myself all week. I also realized that I’d be busy two weekends in a row this month and figured I might as well do something while I have the chance.

I’ve been missing out on fun stuff, like open mics and school events. It isn’t that I’m not having fun in my classes or at my practices…it’s just that…I don’t know. Like, I can’t even go home to visit my folks on the weekend anymore because I have to train on Saturdays. When I go home, I feel like I can relax and I don’t need to worry about anything at all. I’m free to lounge around the house, or go for a run or hang out with my friends.

The last time I hung out with my friends was in May. May. May. May….

Wow….

I guess it’s because I don’t have classes with my school friends. The only person I have to hang out with is my sister. Not that it’s a bad thing…we get along. It’s just kind of lonely. I miss sitting in the pub with my buds, eating mac n cheese and talking about stupid, pointless things. Stupid pointless conversations may not be worth repeating but they sure are good memories. I occasionally try to visit one of my friends at work. My other friends already graduated because they were a year older…and one of my closest friends dropped out and due to all the stuff they’ve been through since then I don’t think they’ll be coming back anytime soon. Things are just…weird.

I’ve actually wished that I had enough money so that I could pay my way through school and not have to worry about grades. Right now some of my classes are making me feel…kind of…blue. I guess I feel blue a lot these days, even though I try hard to be optimistic. It’s not even that I’m sad or depressed…it’s more that I just feel like if I could fall asleep for two days straight it would be awesome. I’ve had days were I’ve showered and dressed and I’m ready to go out and then decided I’d rather stay home and do nothing. I just change back into my pjs and go to sleep. I’ll lie in bed for hours.

I’ve tried setting earlier alarms, and waking up at the same time everyday. I’ve tried organizing my tasks. Maybe I just need a vacation?

Vacations are nice.

Well, I hope that Nanowrimo is going well for everyone. I’ll be doing my best. Exams are coming up very soon so I’ll probably be getting ready for that. Joy. So fun. I actually like exams just…thinking about marks right now is stressful. I’d rather pretend I’m not even in school right now…but what good will that do? Running away from things that seem stressful has never helped anyone.

Next time I’ll try not to whine some much,

–R.