Are We There Yet?

I’ve had lots of homework lately, and its been cutting into my me time. Where I read and write whatever I please. So tonight I guess I’m going to bed without doing any work on my stories and art…bummer. Oh well, at least I finished my homework. I’m a little bit behind on two readings but I should be able to catch up sometime tomorrow or Thursday. I’m at the point where I can’t wait till the final exams. I’m less stressed than I was before the reading break, but I’m kind  starting to feel like that impatient kid in the back seat of the car going, “Are we there yet?”

Despite the amount of work I need to get done I will not let myself slack off on my writing. I want to reach my monthly goal. I have a little less than three weeks. My work out goal is also included in this. Trying to lose at least 10lbs, but that goal stretched into my exam period. Basically I want to lose 10lbs between now and December 17th (coincidentally my Dad’s birthday…along with several other relatives. December’s expensive).

So finish novel, lose weight. That’s my goal, and I’m not going to give up. I will succeed and reach my goal. I’m determined.

–R.

Welcome to November!

I’m grateful for the week I had off from classes, because without it I feel as though I’d be a complete mess right now. I just kept saying to myself, “It’s almost reading break. It’s coming. The end is near. Just three essays, two exams and you’re free!” and somehow I managed to survive.

I kept getting sick during that time. I think I was so stressed and overwhelmed that my body began to react. I had constant headaches, and nausea. Never happened to me before…but after all of the stuff I’ve been through since last April…boy. I’m lucky I didn’t just snap and tear my hair out.

I managed to do a lot of writing and artwork over the break. I even got to work on my music, which was a lot of fun. I enjoy goofing around with my piano and guitar when I think no one is home…my sister screamed, “Shut up!” after about fifteen minutes. I was jokingly singing Chandelier…but it turned into a screamo edition and I sang “I want to screeeeeeam!” instead of “I want to swing.”

Anyway, you probably didn’t need to know that but basically I’m doing a lot better. I don’t feel like I’m a zombie anymore, I haven’t had any nausea or headaches, and things have been a lot less stressful back home. Plus, now school is settling down a bit…it’ll be busy again in a week or two but at least right now I can pace myself and get my head in the right place.

I guess I’d never been so stressed out in my life. I let it all build up from April. I refused to let myself crack…and then finally I just broke down. Which sucks because here and there I was finding myself slowly crumbling after trying to build myself back up. That’s why I’m glad that I had a week where I didn’t have to worry so much about school, or friends or anything and I could just catch up on sleep, draw and write and relax. I needed that break. I know if I had kept trying to push myself I’d have completely shut down. I usually try to be a very optimistic person but that side of me just vanished. I feel a lot more like myself these days. I’m goofing around with my friends again, I’m reading in my spare time (even though all I do is read for class), and I’ve set some goals for myself that I’d like to meet by my last exam date in December.

So, November I welcome you with open arms. I’m in good spirits despite the cold weather and the rain. Although I tend to write a lot of very depressing poetry in the winter (according to my creative writing professor), I will try to write something…warm and fuzzy. Not corny. Warm and fuzzy. Like…a nice blanket or a fluffy animal or some sort.

This was longer than usual.

Till next time,

— R.