Late Nights, Early Mornings

Recently my sleep schedule has been all over the place. It’s definitely added to the stress I’ve been under lately. As I mentioned in my last post, I haven’t had a chance to work on my own personal projects lately, which is seriously bumming me out. Unfortunately balancing school and my personal life has become more and more difficult over these last two years.

There are days when I feel as though I’m missing out on stuff…and then again there are things that I’d rather not take part in. University is just another chapter in my life that is quickly coming to an end…and I’m ready for what lies ahead. I may not have everything figured out but honestly who does? I just wish I could get my sleep under control. I’m either sleeping ton or not at all. I hate feeling tired in the middle of the day.

Tonight I’m up late because I’m not feeling well…however yesterday I went to bed around 8pm. I was pretty exhausted. Both days were busy but…I guess it’s harder to fall asleep when your stomach feels like it’s going to explode.Actually, if it did explode it might relieve some of the pain. I hate this. I honestly do. I’d better be 100% healthy when I get out of bed tomorrow or I’m going to be ticked. I’m too busy to be sick. I won’t allow it. I have exams to prepare for, homework to catch up on, placements to do, and performances and presentations and….I find myself getting lost in thought trying to squeeze all of these individual tasks into my brain.

My wall is currently plastered in sticky notes. I managed to remove some a couple of days ago…but the ones that remain are a constant reminder of how much stuff I need to do. Yet, here I am blogging, drinking hot water and lemon to sooth my stomach and watching television…to top it off I’m also alternating between three games on my phone. It’s not very productive, but if you spent two days doing nothing but work, you’d want to at least spend a little time in the evening relaxing right? I could seriously go for a nice hot shower right now…despite it being 1 am…but my roommate didn’t rinse out the tub and I literally just cleaned it out….I scrubbed that entire bathroom. I even washed the floors. I don’t like living with people. I broke a glass yesterday, and a piece of it cut my ankle. No one even bothered to come into the kitchen to find out what that shattering sound was. I didn’t even notice the blood until I was finished sweeping. Why did I put shorts on when I got home? Why did I think it was a good idea to wear shorts? All I wanted to do was eat my damn pizza pocket. That’s all I wanted…but these people leave their dirty dishes all over the place. So sorry I broke your glass. I’m left-handed. Not like you’d know that but…don’t leave your stuff so close to the microwave and I won’t accidentally smash it to bits.

I hope this lemon water thing works. I just googled it. Apparently it helps. I figure if my Mom would drink it, it’s probably good for me.

Well…I hope I have something more interesting to update on, other than the things that happen during my day.

Till next time,

–R.

Advertisements

I don’t think I’m ever going to sleep now…

I never would have thought these two songs would go together. Next time I’m home with my keyboard, I’m doing this aha.

“It’s the final countdown, we’re leaving together!”

Yah…still not tired. Gonna keep working on my writing.

Up Late Reading

It seems that I have a fever. I guess staying up till two in the morning wasn’t such a great idea. Especially on a school night…but I couldn’t stop reading. Even today when I got on the bus I was reading. I kept getting drawn into the pages. I just read and read and read, and I wandered. I almost forgot how much I loved to read. How much books become a part of me. How they heal me, and give me strength so that I might forget for a little while the hardships I may be facing. Hopefully I’ll feel much better tomorrow. Hopefully with each and every day that passes my heart will heal…as a story progresses at every page that is turned.

My Favourite Insomniac

I’m currently feeling exhausted…which makes me want to write about my favourite insomniac, who has so far received 30 pages of sleepless nights, pizza and Lacrimosa on repeat. However this is a rewrite/expansion of a short story I began back in high school. Actually I entered it into a local competition. Obviously I didn’t win, or else I would have shared that story here on my blog. I hadn’t mastered the short story then to be honest. I’ve managed to get the hang of it though, thanks to years and years of practice.

Maybe I’ll sleep. Maybe I won’t. I mean…I just got back to my place, but I’ve been tired since yesterday. It is weird how every time I feel sleepy I feel like working on this novel. Its sort of something I’ve been writing on the side, so I don’t necessarily know when it will be complete, but I actually really like the characters. Ha…I end up loving all my characters, even the jerks. Eh…I think I will take a nap. I don’t have anything else to do right now. Not going out anywhere.

— R.

She Strikes Again

I knew that approximately thirty minutes after I settled into bed, she’d barge into my room whimpering. After a while, you just know these things.

She never wants to sleep all by herself. Even if you give her every known nightlight in the house, a mountain of stuffed animals and the world’s most comfortable pillows she’ll still insist. She could be out like a light, sleeping through the shouting fans, the blaring television and the gentle hum of the dryer. Still, she would wait until you’re settled into bed, just beginning to shut your eyes and then she would run to your room, begging for you to stay with her until she falls asleep.

Eventually one just gives in to the demands of the ever persistent four year old.

Hopefully I can actually get a decent amount of sleep tonight. We’ll see.

Goodnight/morning again,

— R and Princess Curly Top.

“I don’t want to sleep on my own anymore.”

She woke up and found that she was alone. With sleep in her eyes she crawled out of bed, and made her way towards the dark hallway. Her heart was already racing from that dream, now the hallway was so dark that she could barely see a thing.

Her lips quivered, but she stepped out into the hall. She knew where to go. She twisted the knob and whipped open the door–as she would if it were morning–then made her way towards the bed.

“Ryder, I don’t want to sleep by myself anymore,” she whimpered.

Ryder’s eyes shot open. “Wha?”

The little curly-haired girl pouted.

“Want me to come stay with you?” Ryder asked hoarsely, sitting up.

“Yah….”

So, Ryder got up out of bed and followed her through the dark hallway, and into the room with lots of night lights. Ryder gave the little girl a sleepy grin as she sprawled across the bed, not thinking to leave room for anyone else.

“Well, this is the same little girl who kicked me in the head while she was asleep,” Ryder laughed.

The little girl rolled over, closing her eyes, lettings Ryder lay down.

Ryder tucked the two of them in and the little girl latched onto the blanket, curling into a ball. Ryder looked at the time and sighed. At least work wasn’t until the following evening.

“Ooph!”

Ryder glanced at the little girl and frowned as she threw her legs up, and twisted her body around like a wiggling worm.

“Oh, whatever.”

The little girl’s legs flew up into the air as she tossed and slammed into Ryder’s back. There they stayed as she slept peacefully, her knee in Ryder’s side.

With a gentle sigh Ryder took the giant, fluffy giraffe and used it as a pillow.

“Oh look…aw…hmm…sunlight.”

 


Goodnight/morning.

–From R and Princess Curly-top.

Don’t worry, my back should be fine in time for any potential piggy-back rides.

The Insomnia Blog?

I know it’s a little odd for me to post poetry at 2 in the morning. Thing is, I’ve been writing them off the top of my head every day, and I thought that it’d be alright to share them. It also helps to calm me down.

You see, I’m having trouble falling asleep lately. I don’t know if it’s because exams are coming up or because I’m not tired. It might also be because I keep staying up very late whenever I go home to see my family. I just feel like I’m not able to get to bed until around 3 – 4am. I know it isn’t healthy because I used to wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning all of the time, without any reason. It was simply I’d wake up from an intense dream. I’d go back to sleep and get up at 7 am when my alarm went off. Now I set my alarm for 8am since my classes are usually around 11am.

I’m not sure why I’m telling you all my sleeping patterns. I’m know that this isn’t the first time I’ve discussed my inability to sleep on my blog. Maybe I should call this the insomnia blog. What I find bizarre is that I enjoy sleeping. It is so nice. It’s stress relieving and I love that nice warm bed feeling.

I thought that if I talked about sleeping I’d start to yawn. Ha…I typed the word yawn and yawned. That’s hilarious. I love the human mind. I wish that was on tape because that was perfect. The yawn signalizes that I may be able to fall asleep around 4. Wish me luck…

Hope everyone has a Wonderful Wednesday.

I Can’t Sleep

agefoto_rm_photo_of_child_waking_in_night

I can’t sleep.

The lights keep flickering.

Pop in the bed.

Voices in my head

Are telling me I should sleep.

I don’t listen.

Am I broken?

Am I alive or dead?

No in between.

I’m numb but I breath in.

You call my name.

I don’t reply.

You watch me build a wall.

Every brick I place it falls.

Nothing’s wrong.

Still it’s not right.

Somebody tell me

Why can’t I

Sleep at night?