Novel Update

I’ve finally gotten back into working on the second book for my novel that’s currently being edited. It’s fun. I’ve really missed the characters, and I can see how much they’ve developed since the first chapter of the first book.

Originally I was going to write and publish the series as one big book, but I was instructed (thankfully) by my Dad to split them up…because the book would be enormous and who knew how long it would take for me to complete a three part book. So now the book is a three part series…or trilogy…or whatever you wanna call it. It’s less stressful.

I always told myself, after reading a few trilogies…which disappointed me…that I would only write them if it was planned from the start. It was very clear to me when an author only intended on having a single book, but was pushed by publishing companies to write more novels featuring their characters to help bring in big bucks.

I didn’t want to be that author who lets down their readers because I was writing for money. I write because I enjoy it. I started writing for myself, without any specific audience in mind. Now I try to think about my audience a little bit.

Once my novel is published I might share some of my character illustrations, but I personally don’t like to see cover art where there are people on the front. It really bothers me. I like to imagine what the characters look like based off of the descriptions given. I’ve done illustrations of pretty much all my characters…that I’ve ever had. I’ve debated creating graphic novel versions of some of my work. I may do it. I may not. We’ll see.

I’m still playing around with cover ideas in my head. I’m not going to attempt to do the cover art myself. I’m good at art…but I’ve never done that sort of thing and I didn’t go to graphic design school. I just finished my English degree…all I did was read.

Speaking of reading, have any of you seen this manga I bought recently. The illustrations were breath taking and I bought it for my birthday…and somehow while I was moving I misplaced it. I’m pretty bummed out.

I’m supposed to be going to some free thing at the gym today. Not really up for it. My Mom was hassling me to go outside and enjoy the weather…but instead I stayed in and translated then covered this extremely awesome Russian song.

Enjoy the sunshine!

–R.

 

 

Books, Writing, Moving

Being back home has been really great. I feel less stressed and I can see my goals clearly mapped out in front of me.

I’m still unpacking my stuff, since I just moved out of my apartment, but I’m ready to get writing again. I have so many ideas bouncing around in my head. I really just want to get them down on paper.

I have a few used/new books that I need to sell…because my shelf is overflowing with them and I need space for my new books. Plus some of these books I didn’t want, but was forced to buy for school. My school doesn’t buy back novels. It’s pretty annoying. They took my textbook back though.

Yep…so I’m just trying to find somewhere to sell my books at the moment. Hopefully I can figure that out this afternoon. I’d like to get them listed or in a shop somewhere as soon as possible. Firstly, I need the extra cash and secondly I just really can’t stand all the clutter in the house right now. There’s just way too much stuff. I need to make room for new things not only in my house but in my life…and I feel like my personal spaces are a reflection of what’s going on in my life.

Anyway, since the weather is beautiful today I’d really like to get out of the house for a bit. It rained yesterday while I was out, and it was pretty gloomy.

I may not post a novel update for a little while, as I’m doing some review and editing stuff once I get my stuff unpacked and organized. I will try to post an update soon, but it will be when I’ve made a good amount of progress. As I know right now the people helping me edit and such fell a little behind due to personal circumstances, so I’m just trying my best to be patient and work on other things until I get their feedback.

Until next time,

–R.

Hopes and Fears

In our lives there will always be hopes and fears popping in and out of our heads. Some nights they dance about as I try to shut my eyes and scatter about the room as I toss and turn, trying to settle my mind. When I wake up I’m in a daze before they come rushing back.

I try to wake up feeling excited versus anxious, about the things to come. I try not to think of the ever-growing list of things I need to do for the day and take my time getting ready. Still by the time I realize I’m running behind schedule, these hopes and fears are there waiting by the door. I try to keep them locked up but they must have figured out how to climb through the window.

No matter. I can always stick my headphones in and ignore them. The music will drown them out…although I do like the hopes very much, so I let them dance while I walk to the rhythm of the morning. They’re warm like the sun and brush gently across my skin. They make my heart pound heavily, but the heaviness is nice…it lets me know that I’m still alive and as I get lost in my hopes I pull out my phone and suddenly fear sinks its teeth into me.

Being late, not having things done, forgetting something back at home…all of the little fears that poke and pick at me throughout the day. Sometimes it’s easy to ignore them and other times I can’t. I think about kicking them, or stomping on them…but at the same time being so carefree isn’t always a good thing. Things need to get done. I have places I need to go, people I need to meet, work I need to finish…and the ever-growing list of little fears pushes me to get them done. My heart races when the fears start to slither about. They slip between my ankles, wrap around my throat…they nearly suffocate me…and yet I’m still alive.

My hopes  tug at me and my fears start to pull back. Both clawing at my arms and legs and face. I can’t seem to decide which way to go, so I sit in the grey…and I wait. I procrastinate. I pretend everything is nothing, and that nothing is everything. It’s a numb place to be, and very boring…there’s no music or colour. There are no hopes and no fears…so I let them back in and let the battle begin, until night-time comes again and I begin to dream.

Will…When

Will you hear my story

When I’m buried beneath the snow?

Will you hear my story

When the flowers grow.

Will you sing my song

When the sun fades away?

Will you share my heart

When there’s nothing left to say?

— O. Ryder.

Sept. 2, 2015.

Rough…

These last few days have been pretty rough. Today I had an exam and there have been a lot of personal family issues going on….

It’s just been rough. I usually bottle everything up inside. I’m a person who keeps to themselves when it comes to stuff like this. Especially with family situations, I feel like I suddenly need to act tough and compose my emotions around others. I realized this after my grandmother passed away. I never knew that I had this strong side to me. I’ve always been the cry baby out of my siblings…I mean I got teary eyed while watching How to Train Your Dragon (haven’t watched it since due to being laughed at). I’m surprised at my own ability to suddenly take on a different role. At times where I myself might be feeling upset and scared, I automatically smile, laugh and go on like everything is perfectly fine so that when those around me need someone strong to hold them up, I can be there for them. I’m not sure if this is exactly healthy…but I do it. I do it all of the time despite how I’m feeling.

Sometimes stuff happens in life that just kicks you in the gut and all you can do is ignore the pain and keep on pushing because the world keeps spinning. Time won’t stop because you’re faced with something that seems impossible…and heart wrenching…and completely out of your control. Life goes on and on and on and that’s it.

I hope I can make it through the rest of this week without completely breaking down. If I’m going to punch my pillow and blast music into my ears then I’d rather do that at home than while I’m here at school.

I hope the sun’s out tomorrow morning…just for a little while. I look forward to seeing the sunshine pouring into my windows.

I can’t stand being in the dark right now…all this grey and black and gloominess isn’t doing me any good. I really don’t want to be away from my family right now. Honestly I want to go home. I know I’m only here for a few days and then I get to be with my folks till September but I’m one of those people who needs to be around their family when stuff is bothering me.

Sorry for making another emo-ish post. I’ve been writing some pretty gloomy stuff lately. I seem to write happier things when I’m collaborating with my sister. She’s a funny kid.

How do you push through rough times?

Grading Rant

Hey everyone, today I thought I’d just go on a little rant about those people who give you 69%, or 79% or 89% instead of just rounding it up to a higher grade.

I’m sure that I’m not the only person who is annoyed by this. It’s like, there’s a big difference between getting say  69% on a test versus getting 70%. 69% is still a C whereas if you get 70% that is a B and if you seriously need that higher grade to boost your average then you want that extra mark.

The other thing is that when you do get 69% rather than 70% on something they don’t explain why. It’s like, “Okay so you say that I understand but I just needed to go into further detail? Alright…well I had perfect spelling, I sourced one thing wrong and I had all of this other stuff right…so why didn’t you just give me 70%?”

It happens all the time and it’s frustrating. I’ve had it happen mainly with essays, where I’ll get like 79% and wonder why they didn’t just give me an 80%?

The year is coming to an end…this is my last week of school (university). So I figured a school related rant post would be acceptable.

It’s just so annoying…this needs to be fixed.

Props to my awesome TA who gave me a bonus mark for drawing a dinosaur on my quiz. That made my day.