Fight or Flight

There are times when it feels like the whole world is against you. You fall, you get back up. You fall again, harder than before but somehow you manage to stand on your feet again. You doubt yourself, you contemplate, you become your own worst enemy and yet you continue to stand, and deal with what’s in front of you.

At times you try to run away but you realize that it only makes things more difficult. One obstacle becomes two. The more you run the more you have to face. You wonder if there’s even a point of turning around, of charging through the mess you’ve made. Anything seems better than what you’re going through now.

You can either face the monsters you’ve created or you can continue to run from them. It’s not easy brushing yourself off every time, standing up to fight. How many times can a person get back in the ring? How many mountains can someone climb? How far can we run? It’s difficult to tell.

–R.

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Glass

What do we do, when the ones we care about are broken?

Do we punish the ones who have hurt them? Make them pay for their crimes. Show them what broken really looks like.

Do we try to fix them or do we leave them shattered like broken glass. Millions of a whole sparkling in the dirt.

It is hard to love a broken thing. When things break we replace them…it’s easier than taking the time to mend them. Easier to forget about what is broken. Who is broken. No one wants to be reminded of the things that are broken…the people they have broken.

I saw her broken. She laid there, like glass. Silent…though silence was never something she longed for. I couldn’t touch her. She was sharp. Her shards laid at my feet. I didn’t break her, but I cannot fix her. I don’t know how. I want to. I want what once was. This bond between us, shatter by those who hurt her. Beat her down into the dirt. Shoved their words into her like daggers. Tore apart what was left of her. Somehow she rose. A million pieces. She rose up, still shattered and she glistened in the sun. I couldn’t fix her. I don’t know if she even wanted to be fixed. Perhaps she likes being broken? Perhaps the glass makes her enemies tremble with fear. She is strong, even though she is shattered. Her strength is the greatest sword ever built.


For my dearest and oldest friend.

Stay strong.

–R.

My Sister

A scowl perhaps when the sun first peers into her window…but like the sun she gleams midday, and brightens up the sky, bringing warmth to everything that she passes over. Although my sister does not possess a delicate air, that of which you’d see on a flower, her strength is never-fading, as the wilting petals of a frail daisy. She embodies a strength in which I wish I too could possess, and her strength is her beauty. Why be a delicate daisy, when her beauty is the strength of a roaring sea?

Admire (Word Prompt)

I admire my sweet friend; I admire the way she carries herself; I admire her looks; I admire her dynamic personality; I admire her calm nature; I admire her sharp mind; I admire the way she talks; I admire the way she sings. Is there someone you admire? What do you admire in them? Daily […]

via Add a line or more No 42 — Success Inspirers’ World

I admire the strength and knowledge that they instill in me each day, through encouragement, love, and occasionally  lectures. Although I like to pretend that I’m strong on my own, with bones of steel and a heart of stone, they see straight through my mask and armour. They tell me that it’s okay to come to them for help when my weight is too heavy. They’re honest with me, even though they know that sometimes ones honesty stings like a fresh paper cut. I admire each of them, my parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my niece. For even though we have our ups and downs, and despite the differences in our ages, our opinions and our positions, we take care of one another. I not only admire my family but I am thankful that I have so many great people to enjoy life with.

–R.

Letters to Myself

I just started watching a new show called Orange. It’s under the 2016 Summer Anime list, if anyone is wonder. It got me thinking about this project I did back when I was 16, where we had to write a letter addressed to our past selves. I can remember giving my 13 year old self a huge lecture on how I should have been more out going and less occupied with what others thought about me. At 16, I thought that I knew everything. My parents still say that I think I know everything, and that I enjoy correcting people (mostly my mother). My mom thinks I’m egotistical due to the fact that I’m a musician. I couldn’t deny it because there are days when I spend hours just looking at myself…and I do take a lot of selfies (I don’t share them anywhere).

To be honest I think what happened was, after being a moody 13 year old with a low self-esteem, I went to high school and decided I no longer cared if I wasn’t with the in-crowd. As you can see, I’m no longer ashamed to admit that I watch anime. One of my closest childhood friends from when I was 3 or 4 was from Japan, and so they used to buy me animes on VHS. No I don’t call myself an otaku. Yes I also read manga, but I enjoy comics in general (Archie anyone? Gotta love Jughead). So basically, to get back on topic, I realized that just because my hobbies have always consisted of writing, watching anime and music didn’t mean that I had to hide it from people. I figured, if people liked me for who I was then that was great. It was stupid trying to lie about what shows I watched and what sports I liked when I wasn’t really into any of that. While all my friends played football (American), I was more interested in pretending I was a Jedi knight…or petting the stray cat that liked to visit us at recess.

So I suppose my 16 year old self had a reason to be so harsh towards my 13 year old self. The thing is, looking back now, being 13 and 16 was equally stressful and I went through experiences that…well at the time made me feel like the sky was falling. Now that I’m considered an adult (who drinks mountain dew instead of beer and uses a starwars cup while using the worlds best Spiderman bookmark), I think I can say that I’ve realized that each part of my life is a new challenge. It seems hard at the time but once I get over it, it feels like it was a breeze.

From my first time being extremely jealous to my first date. My first experience with death to my first time holding a new baby. From bad grades to bulking down. From writing an entire novel without chapters or page numbers to becoming more organized and actually planning things out. The big and the small, all molded me into the somewhat adult I am today…although all the 16 year olds I work with think I’m the same age.

So, I’m not sure what I would say to myself at ages 13 or 16…or even to myself ten years from now when I’m 30. Wow…I’ll be 30 some day. Hopefully I have my life in order by then. To be honest I feel like I got myself where I need to be now. I try not to lie awake at night regretting the decisions I’ve made in the past. I try not to ponder the future too much either these days. Kind of makes me feel a little down…knowing that certain people won’t be with me anymore. All I can do is keep going forward. If YOLO taught me anything in high school it was that I should spend more time laughing and less time fighting. I should make time for friends and family. I should go into a career that I know I will love and will give me the most fulfilment. I shouldn’t jump the gun on decisions, and I shouldn’t put them off too long either. I shouldn’t think too much, and I should know when to take the time to think. I should step outside of my comfort zone, and I shouldn’t be afraid to stand my ground. If this were a letter to my past self or the person I’ll be when I’m 30…I’d probably say “You’re doing great. Just remember right now is a challenge but once you get over this hill, you’ll find the next will be a little easier to climb.”

— R