Updates

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve done an update. The illustrations for my book are coming along well. I can’t wait to see the finished product.

As for my other work, I’m still editing away. When I’m not editing I’m either doing concept art for a project of mine, or I’m working.

I’m about to start a new job after the Canada Day long weekend. I guess the day I start is a holiday in the United States. I’m pretty excited about this job. I mean, yah, I’ll be working two jobs for the remainder of the summer but I need the money. School isn’t cheap.

I’m seriously excited about finishing this book. I really want people to see the artwork! It’s fantastic.

Well, I’m going to attempt to do a bit of concept art today. Tomorrow is a holiday so I’m going to be trying to do stuff today so that I’m not scrambling to work tomorrow morning before any festivities.

I was actually going to share some of my art today but I realized when I logged into my computer that I didn’t scan the pictures I wanted to show…only character designs. I’d rather show people what my characters look like when the book is released.

Hope everyone’s having nicer weather than I am.

Till next time,

–R.

The HORROR!

Sooooo…I’m speechless right now. Went into my new apartment and the previous tenants trashed the place. It smells like weed and vomit. There are broken doorknobs and the fridge wasn’t cleaned out.

I don’t really know what to do. The painters are in there right now, they warned me about the mess. I just can’t understand why anyone would trash the place.

My landlord is MIA. No one can find him. He said we could pick up the keys at 10am. Now we can’t pick them up until 3pm.

I feel like he just threw me into a crappy apartment, and the reason why he only let us see the “show” apartment is because he knew that this one was disgusting.

At least the smell of fresh paint will cover up the smell. I actually want to throw up right now. Maybe I’ll buy a bucket load of those smelly…spray things…AIR FRESHNERS…and just spray the entire place. Open all the windows. Scrub the walls.

I washed my hands and put hand sanitizer on the moment I got out of there. I don’t know what to do…I’m just…why would you want to live in that mess? Seriously?

I can’t. Nope. I’m about ready to drop kick someone. God…why do people live like that? I mean, my older brother used to leave stuff everywhere in his room and in the basement. He was messy…I thought he was bad. Oh my God. I need to ask my mom for some of her masks and gloves. It smells so bad. I don’t wanna touch anything. I’m actually afraid of using the bathrooms. I don’t know what’s going to crawl out of the toilet.

Well…I guess…I’ll just…sit here and wait for my folks to show up…and I guess…I’ll just…yah…I don’t really know. I just…don’t know….

–R.

 

Moving Day

Well I finished packing sometime around 3am…and woke up at 6. I couldn’t seem to sleep. I’m full of all this energy right now. I’m just waiting for 10 o’clock to hit so that I can start moving into my new apartment.

My roommates parents just had the luxury of seeing me in my pajamas. Messy hair, baggy sweat pants and all. I didn’t know they were here. When I heard someone come in this morning I assumed it was my roommate by themselves. Ha…oh well. Isn’t the first time I’ve stumbled upon guests while still in my pajamas. Although wearing one of my Dad’s company shirts is a little awkward. I mean I did some temp work there before…but I don’t have any intention of working in the medical field.

My bedroom walls are bare. No colour in sight. I had drawings and posters all over the place, and now it’s just blank grey space. Oh well, it can be someone else’s canvas now. I’ve always wanted to paint and draw all over a wall in my house. Perhaps when I have my own place and won’t have to pay damages because I drew a random dinosaur on the wall.

I’m sooo hungry right now. I mean, lately I’ve been only having one meal a day. Yesterday I managed to get two meals in. Lucky me. I decided to go for one last poutine before heading home for the summer. Definitely a wise decision. Unfortunately all I have left to eat is apple sauce…but I packed away all my spoons. All I have is this cup of water…and an entire bag of candy. Sadly, my stomach can’t handle eating candy first thing in the morning.

I’m praying it doesn’t rain while we’re moving all this stuff, and loading up the car. I wanted to try to organize what was going home and what was staying here but I decided not to crowd the hallway with all of my stuff.

I honestly cannot wait to go home. All I want to do is sit down and write. I don’t know what day I’m gonna head back to work…I mean, technically I don’t want to go back but I need the money. Somehow I ended up blowing $100 the other day. Yah…apparently splitting the bill when I’m with my younger sister means that she pays $30 and I pay $100. Bye, bye birthday money. Least I still have $275 for my trip. Depending on how many shifts I get at work, I can probably earn that money back pretty quickly.

Seriously though…if they pull any of the stunts they have in the past I’m going to resign. I’m not putting up with the nonsense anymore. I can only bite my tongue for so long. I don’t want any unnecessary stress. I need this time off from school to finally come to terms with a lot of the stuff that’s happened over the past year. There’s a lot of stuff that I didn’t have time to properly deal with, that I need to take care of.

Well, it’s finally 9 am, so I think I’ll start getting dressed. I want to get my keys as soon as possible so that I can start moving the smaller stuff before my folks come to help. I don’t think they need to help me carry pillows and dishes around. Man…it’d be nice to have a car though. That’d make life easier. Who knows maybe I’ll end up with one by the end of the summer. I highly doubt it…with my bank account….maybe once I make some serious money.

Kind of sad that at my age most people don’t have cars, but by the time my Dad was my age, he had gone through 3.

I really wish I was editing right now but I don’t have time. I knew if I rummaged through my backpack and pulled out my rough draft that I’d be going at it, and the morning would zip by. I didn’t want to end up sitting on my mattress trying to type up three or four chapters and then have my Dad banging on the front door wondering where the heck I am.

Well…I guess I’ll start getting ready.

Till next time,

–R.

Study, Study, Exam, Sleep…bleh…

I’m almost done exams. I’m so glad. I’ve spent the last few days doing review for a course, and I still have yet to study for my final (yikes!) but oh well. I just want to get this over and done with. I have no doubt that I’ll do well on this exam. I’m usually very calm when I have exams…some people find that strange but I’m grateful for it whenever I talk to my friends because I’m able to also put other people at ease a little bit.

It’s always good to have one calm person around when you’re feeling anxious about something. I know that from performing. I usually can pull off a calm appearance, however inside I’m like “Ah! What is this? Why? Why am I up here? All these people are looking at me!”

Despite all my studying I have managed to do some writing, and I’ve read a couple of books as well. I should have been reading books for my one exam but I guess I have all afternoon today and tomorrow morning for that. I really just need to review some authors names and get familiar with certain passages that we discussed in class.

I’m so glad my last two exams are literally 5 minutes from my apartment because I just wanna write, come home and go to bed. I tried to go to bed around 12 am last night, but instead I think I ended up going to bed around 2 am. I watched cartoons until around 1:20 am…and then I lied down on my pillow and thought about random stuff for a while. I couldn’t sleep. It was like my brain was still going over my notes. I was still studying in between theme songs. I used to do that back in my first year of university. I have to say, studying in between commercials and theme songs is effective. It doesn’t feel like you’re studying but when you take a break and do say…30 minutes of review and then take a break and watch something or go for a run, I find you actually remember more than when you try to cram everything in last-minute.

I really don’t feel like putting on jeans or anything to go write an exam. It’s funny cause for my last exam I was…basically dressed to go out somewhere important…this exam is early in the morning. Sweats. All. Day. I’m in the mood to feel comfortable. I would rather just go, write, come home and sleep for a few hours. Trust me…I need the sleep.

Try to imagine studying for an exam in which half of the questions are related to sleep, and or the lack of and you haven’t been sleeping properly. Yah…so I’m gonna get me some proper sleep. I also haven’t had more than one meal a day. I went out for sushi on Monday with my sister and her friend. So I ate that…and then yesterday I made us some steaks for dinner. So in the last two days all I’ve had was steak and sushi. Now…I did eat half of my chocolate bunny that my aunt gave me on the weekend (all the kids got them…even the big kids), but chips for breakfast and lunch is honestly disgusting. I can’t do…I don’t know why I did it. We’re out of milk and bread and eggs…certain things we just don’t need to buy because we’re done for the school year. I really just wanna write this exam. I feel like I should be writing it at this very second.

Other than the little bit of writing I got to do in between studying, I also managed to draw a bit, which was pretty cool. Write now I’m praying that everything goes well. The beginning of the school year was extremely stressful, and I think because of that I ended up slacking off a ton throughout the year. I couldn’t deal with the stress…so there were things that I avoided and I do regret doing so. At the same time, I’m glad I was able to get through all of it. There are people I know who went through some really rough stuff this year and they had a lot of trouble trying to cope. It was too much on them…and thankfully they had people around who were able to be there for them when the time came.

I know that because of my personality, I tend to try to suck it up and hold things in. I get it from my Dad. He and my sister might have similar personalities…to the point where they’re almost the same person but I did adopt that trait. I guess that’s part of why I end up snapping once in a while. People can only handle so much. If I don’t have an outlet then I end up bottling everything inside. Over time I start to feel heavy. If you’ve ever opened up a bottle of pop that’s been shaken, that’s almost what it’s like. Suddenly all of this stuff comes shooting out and there’s no way to stop it…but after a few minutes everything’s calm and it seems as if nothing happened. I guess the only difference between myself and a bottle of pop is that I can clean myself up after I explode. It is definitely one thing I’d like to change about myself, because people assume I’ll just put up with certain things. Usually if I see another person who is being mistreated I get up and say something without thinking…I’ve been like this since I was a kid. However, when it comes to myself I do the whole three strike thing.

Anyway, I’m feeling a lot more…awake now. I’m ready to go and write this exam. I just wanna go in any ace this and then come home and embrace my pillow. I often express my relationship to my pillow when I write about my character who doesn’t sleep…he and I have a lot in common. Besides…well…some stuff I won’t mention since that would spoil the story.

One Down, Two to Go

I managed to get through one exam. Only two more to go. Luckily, I’ve got time to relax for now. Despite the next few days being busy because of Easter festivities, I know I’ll find the time to prepare.

I did some character sketches yesterday that turned out surprisingly well…my last few haven’t. Unfortunately my printer is a jerk and doesn’t let me scan anything when I’m out of ink. I don’t really understand why it does this, but it does. A glitch maybe? I can’t even print if I run out of coloured ink. I’m usually only printing essays off. I don’t use my printer for much else. Oh well….

I’m glad to be finished with that course. I don’t want to add anymore fire to the flame but…let’s just same a few people, had issues with the way we were marked. I don’t need to go into detail.

Welp, I’d better get my stuff ready to go. Definitely going to enjoy being home for a couple of days. Especially since I’ll be seeing some peeps this weekend.

–R

Money, School, Life

I’ve realized today that I need to stop spending money. Before my sister moved in with me, I rarely ever went out so I didn’t spend any money unless I needed to buy groceries. Now that she’s living with me I’m ordering food all of the time (which I never did on my own), and I’m going all over the place. My 21st birthday was on Sunday, so I just got some money…and I won’t be working till May. I’m still here for another month and need to buy groceries. Sadly, I don’t want to use my birthday money for groceries because I’m saving that for a weekend trip I have coming up.

I’m usually really good with my money. I’ve never been a big spender…but then suddenly this year I’m always buying food. I don’t know if my spending is entirely linked to my sister moving in, because both of us had a very stressful year. Perhaps I spent more because I was going out to distract myself?

My sister pointed out to me that I should carry my notebooks and binders around with me everywhere like I used to, so I can work on my novels all the time. I wouldn’t mind doing that, except that I wouldn’t want people looking over my shoulder to see what it is I’m working on…and also, I get extremely paranoid when it comes to my binders and sketchbooks. I have to know where they are…and that they’re safe. If I plan on being away for more than a few days, I pack them in my luggage. I don’t know when I became so attached to them. It’s like they’ve become an extension of me. I used to be like this with my old teddy bear…so perhaps I’m just one of those people? I wonder if my future spouse will find this weird….I know my parents do.

I think that my sister understands it a little better. She’s an artist. We’ve been editing her latest work recently. She makes comics. They’re honestly really good. We’re both very critical of each others work (she’s harsher than I am), so having each other edit the first draft is always good. Her stories are funny. She used to share them with her class. Actually she’s won two awards now for her work. Lucky duck. She used to have her friends circle around her while they read her comics and they’d always go “Any updates yet!?” I’m still trying to convince her to share some of her work online. We’ll see. Maybe once she’s finished with her exams. She’s an artist, an athletic and a bio-chem major. Weird combination, I know. We’re both kind of like that though…except I’m not so good at math or science. I read. I’m really good at history…in the sense that I can remember random facts off the top of my head. Whenever I had to write papers for my classes back in high school I’d be told they sounded like stories or poems…which I can’t deny. I’m a creative writer first. Essays I do because I’m asked, not because I enjoy them.

Well, this is all for now. I’m working on my writing schedule, which I’m going to double as an exercise schedule as well. I just want to get into shape before I start working. The weathers just been really cold…I like to exercise outdoors. Especially since the trail is near the river. The scenery is perfect.

–R.

Buds, Music and 2 am Pizza

Saturday night was awesome. Although we didn’t have as many people turn up to the event as planned, the music was great and everyone had a fun time.

I know that I will definitely be checking out some of the bands after last night. There was a good variety of music. Punk, Alt’, Indie, Country. A little something for everyone, which was great. I’ve got to say checking people’s I.D. was a fun, but very cold. Glad I wasn’t the actual bouncer though. There were some characters who has a little too much to drink…and had to leave.

It was great how the bands got the audience dancing and jumping around.

After it all, my sister and I were really hungry so we order pizza around 1:30 before they closed. I made sure to apologize and tip the guy, cause I’ve worked in the food industry. I understand. I still feel pretty bad…but we were hungry and well…pizza and wings were calling my name.

Now, I have to turn my attention to the many assignments I have due…oh this is gonna be a fun week.

Till next time,

R.

Rock n’ Rollin’

It seems like I’ve come down with something…the weathers been switching around so much my body hasn’t had a chance to adjust, and or recover from the bug I had two weeks ago. I also haven’t been sleeping properly.

This weekend I’m going to be involved in a Battle of the Bands competition. I’m working the event…cause of my role in our schools music society. My punk and metal loving friend will most likely attend. As for my other friends…I should probably push them to come. I really just want to see some familiar faces, outside of the staff and draw in as many folks as possible. I mean, the event is free you guys. You can win money. Why wouldn’t you go? It isn’t like you have anything better to do…except maybe that 2500 word essay that’s due Monday.

Yah I have some essays I need to get working on…hopefully I can get rolling today. We’ll see.

Till next time,

–R.

School and the Cost of Books

Taking a break is nice. I like to relax for a little while and let myself recharge. Especially when it comes to school, since early February can be a very busy time for assignments and such.

I hate to admit it but I spent more time goofing around and reading comic books, than getting ahead in my work. Honestly, I wish I had made the decision to get ahead in my readings but I didn’t like the books we were currently doing for school, and I wanted to take a break from reading novels. Being an English Major takes the fun out of books. A large majority of my classmates agree with me. There is a difference in being allowed to choose what you want to read versus being told what you have to read and not only do you have to read it, you have to tear it apart and find all the possible metaphors, and focus on the ideas behind the text…. Let’s make reading fun again? Can’t we do it where we study a book for a month, and really go into depth with it? Rather than cramming an entire novel in one week? I had books I was interested in reading, but couldn’t get to because I had to read a book I absolutely hated for an essay due the same week. The thing with English is that as long as you’re attending class, you can get a rough idea of what the book is about (depending on your professor).

Thinking about reading shouldn’t make me cringe. It should make me excited, like it used to when I was a kid. I still love to go to Chapters and browse, but now I find that I’m leaning more towards buying comics because it doesn’t drain me. Most of the time I finish them within a half hour. It doesn’t bother me that I finish them quickly, but I don’t feel the need to rush my reading, and I don’t feel as though I am obligated to continue with a book that I’m not enjoying.

I have several novels that I’ve either bought for pleasure or that have given to me as gifts, and I haven’t had then chance to read any of them.

Sometimes if a book for school doesn’t interest me, I don’t even bother purchasing it from our bookstore because it costs too much money. I can’t justify buying a novel that is $30. I have bills to pay, and I need to eat. I try to find some of the books at Chapters and for some reason they never have them in stock. I find this a bit strange…and of course, I have more own theories as to why this is, but it is possible that it is just that these books are unpopular.

At least when one is studying Shakespeare, it is easy to get access to his work online, as it is free to the public domain. It doesn’t cost a penny. If I don’t already own the play, I can pull it up and read it, or watch/listen to a performance on YouTube. I don’t have to worry about missing anything, and I don’t feel any sort of stress because I didn’t have the money to spend on the play.

I can’t understand how they can charge so much for books? The textbooks that my sister purchased are around $100 each. She needed about four of them for the entire year. With English and Language studies, they make you purchase several books between $20 and $30, weekly and or biweekly, in order to get the same amount of money out of you that they would with someone in Business, Psychology or Mathematics. It’s ridiculous the amount that they charge us for books on top of our classes, and for many first year students, on top of their residence fees.

As students, we shouldn’t have to worry about whether or not we should spend our $100 monthly budget on food or books.

The reason that myself, and many other students that I have spoken to about this, have stopped purchasing all of our books at the beginning of the year is because one cannot guarantee whether or not they will get their money’s worth out of the book. Why am I going to purchase a $60 Anthology on 20th Century British Literature, when I only need to read 3 pages of the entire textbook? Why would I spend $25 on a novel that I have will not have time to read, and may possible dread if there will be approximately 15 novels throughout the entirety of the course and I will have to option to write on at least 10 of them for the exam? Of course I’m going to choose buying food and paying my rent over spending a ridiculous amount of money on books that I may not read.

This is why it is easier to buy one or two books at a time for my courses, versus getting all of them at once. On top of that, you don’t get you $400 back. I attempted to return my books to our school bookstore last year, and got $42 for them. Many of the books they wouldn’t take back because they weren’t sure if they’d be used next year. For books that I had spent over $20, I may have only received 10 cents for them. Some I got a $1 or $2 for. It was ridiculous. From now on, I feel as though it would be better if I sold my books elsewhere or if I donated them. The majority of the books I’ve been forced to read for my courses, I really haven’t enjoyed. There are a few gems that I plan on keeping in my collection, but the remainder I’d rather get rid of. I don’t have a need for them, nor do I have the space. Still, it would be nice to earn back some of what I had spent on them, as they weren’t cheap.

I didn’t plan on writing this, but it has been bugging me all year.

I hope you’re all enjoying the weekend,

R.

Why School? Why?

Although I told myself that I wasn’t going to order food again for the rest of the month…I ended up doing so due to the fact that I’ve spent my week doing homework and I’m completely drained. I’m not even finished my work yet…although I hope to be able to relax by at least 8 or 9pm.

After my busy day tomorrow…I’ll be free. Free I say!

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Until then, back to work.

–R.