Just finished my exam…gah. This cold is really starting to get on my nerves. I could barely think straight and unfortunately I had to be that jerk who sniffles and coughs every other minute. Yikes…I’m just glad it’s over.
That’s it for this semester. I can work on MY stuff again. No more teachers, no more books…oh right I’m pretty much a teacher now huh. Guess I can’t say that. I can barely remember how that saying goes.
There are these really awesome mugs at Chapters right now that are for teachers and I really want one, but like I’m just starting teachers college. I mean…I’m a teacher in training right? I can totally have a mug. I taught singing lessons before…and I do tutoring and stuff. I’m basically a teacher already. I think I should get a mug for my graduation present. This is a hint. You know who you are. Graduation. Mug. Chapters. The one I held up and shoved in your face and was like “YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR PARENTS TO BUY ME THIS” even though we have the same parents. I mean YOU kid. It is your duty to make sure I get that mug okay? Don’t fail me friend…or you will be demoted back to normal sibling status.
Everyone else reading can ignore that…ha…ha…ha….I haven’t slept properly in like two weeks and had to wake up early this morning for my exam even though I couldn’t sleep all night. I think I’ll have lunch and go to bed now. This post is just getting sloppy eh?
Oh no my inner Canadian has been unleashed! EHHHHHHH!
I have problems….I think this stupid cold thingy is messing with my brain or something. I’m laughing waaaaay too much. This is how I type when I’m talking to my buddies. I don’t have many friends actually. My best friends consist of my siblings and my six year old niece. I’m very popular…with elementary schoolers. I’m the teacher that draws stuff. Cats, people, cars, pizza…I’m that teacher. They think I’m lying that I’m not a famous artist. I’ve never won an art competition. My sister did. Twice. She writes comics. She’s a cool kid. She might be 10% cooler than me which is hard to admit…but I’m really nerdy and spend my time eating cereal and watching cartoons…while she watches people livestream stuff. Livestreaming is cool I guess…but people always stream when I’m in class for some reason. Least the people I care to watch. I’m totally almost a full fledged adult cause I can cook for myself…like real food…like I can make steak and potatoes and stuff….and I know how to clean stuff both properly and the cheat way that you clean when your parents are suddenly dropping by…and I do laundry good and I can like buy groceries and stuff. I’m like almost an adult. I just don’t want to be that adult like yet. Like being an adult is so much work. Like I’m not supposed to start every sentence with like. And I can start sentences with and because that’s bad grammar but you know what I have a degree thingy now that says I know how to read and write good so HA! I can start sentences with and and but and all the three letter words of disapproval that would’ve gotten me really bad marks if someone was marking them and stuff. And I can say STUFF! WOO! School is over. SCHOOL IS DONE…and…and guess what? GUESS WHAT!
I have pizza.
Um…so the author of this blog has totally lost their marbles…and will be needing a mental break for like the next 24 hours before…as in they should eat, sleep and get their sanity back for the rest of the day. This is what happens when you’re over stressed and then the stressful stuff is finally over.
–R (the still sane portion…the other half of me…my alter ego…yah they left the moment they remembered that they made pizza last night and have leftovers)
Why is everything so colourful…?
I got back an assignment the other day…which basically I read the required course material and then wrote a response to it. I think I had to do about 10. I still have this stupid cold so yah….Anyway, so I’m flipping through reading the comments and then I get to the last one:
“You have a very engaging writing style! Maybe writing children’s books is in your future?”
Well…if my professor wants to read my children’s book she’s more than welcome to.
I’m still waiting on the last few illustrations. The original goal was to have everything finished by December but life happens. We’re students. People get stressed and busy and all that. I am willing to wait till these exams are over to get some great art for my book. I don’t think anyone else could’ve captured the character so…perfectly.
In the meantime while I’ve been waiting on that, I’ve also been waiting for my beta readers to give me more updates. So far they like the novel and the feedback has been really helpful and constructive.
I sent all my hand written writing stuff to my parents on the weekend…I have no journals or notebooks or binders. I have my laptop. I can work on the novel I was writing on my laptop I guess. I just really wanna write. What sucks more is that I wanna write some songs but I don’t have my piano or guitar here…and I can barely talk still. My voice is starting to come back a little.
At least I can draw…but my fingers really wanna write.
I still have some homework to get done later this evening so I’ll do some writing tomorrow afternoon instead…hopefully I’m feeling better by then. For now I’m gonna work on getting my energy back up so I can fight this stupid cold.
I’ve lost a ton of sleep recently due to this stupid cough. To make matters worse, I had the hiccups the over night…and one doesn’t know pain until they’ve hiccuped and coughed at the same time. I feel like I’ve been doing some serious ab workouts for the last 24 hours.
I tried to take a nap earlier today to catch up on some sleep but I kept coughing…so instead I had left over turkey and stuffing and have been watching cartoons. I made some tea…it’s kind of helping to sooth my throat. I’ve also been sucking on those Fisherman’s Friend lozenges. My Dad had a ton at home so my Mom gave me them to take back to my place.
I can’t wait to move out of here. Only a few things left to pack. I can’t believe it’s over…four years went by pretty quick. I guess it was the same with high school. It all kind of zips by and the next thing you know you’ve gotta find a real job so that you can pay your bills.
I wish this stupid cough would go away. I really wanna be able to get a good nights rest. I didn’t fall asleep until 1 am last night…and even then I kept waking up coughing. Not to mention I have a group project that involves me talking to do and my voice keeps coming and going as it pleases.
As for my writing and stuff, as soon as my exams are finished I’m back to work. I’ve taken too long of a break from my projects. There’s a lot I want to do. I feel like I can write some stuff out a lot better now that I’ve experienced more…I mean at least the stuff I’ve experienced in my 22 years of life. I’ve only really been an “adult” for a little while. I’ve still got my training wheels on…I probably will until after I have kids. Honestly I don’t think being an adult gets any easier, parents probably just get really good at faking that they’ve got everything under control. That’s my theory.
Yep…until exams are done I’ll probably do more drawing. It’s relaxing…and honestly it’s just a nice way to unwind after a long day. To draw…ink and colour while listening to some of my favourite tunes…it always puts me in the best mood.
Anyway I can’t stop coughing so I’m gonna end this post here…and pray that I feel better soon. This really hurts….
It’s that time of year where I start living on ramen, KD and water because I’m too busy to buy groceries and I can’t afford to get bagels from Tims….
All I can say is that I’m glad I’ll be finished classes soon…I plan on doing some stuff online during the summer but summer in university starts in May. Luckily for me I’m going to have a couple weeks after my final exam before those start up…I’ll get to go home and write.
I’ve been wanting to work on my novels for what feels like ages now. At least I’ve had time to draw. If I didn’t have time to draw I’d probably lose it.
All my hobbies are fairly time consuming…writing and recording music, drawing, writing, reading. Actually, I’ve managed to get some reading in. I have so many books I want to catch up on but thankfully I’ve gotten through a handful of my comics this past month. I can’t get enough of my comic books. Studying English in university really makes you hate reading novels. It’s problematic. Even with writing novels…there are times when it feels stressful because all you do is read and write and discuss. There are days when all I want to do is sit on my butt, eat junk and binge watch mindless television series. Cartoons are great guys. They make you think…or they don’t make you think at all. I’ve slowly begun to enjoy reading again through my comic and manga collection. Graphic novels and the like don’t feel like novels. Sometimes theirs colour…and even when they aren’t in colour I still see colours in my head. I’m still enjoying a great book but I think the visual aspect makes it a much quicker read. I get lost in the story so easily…and then it’s over in a flash. Honestly I finish some of my comics in a half hour. Which suchs because I spend up to nineteen dollars on a book that takes me thirty minutes to plow through.
Anyway, once classes are out I’m writing as much as I want at any hour of the day whereever and whenever. When I was younger you would never see me without a binder or notebook of sorts. If I wasn’t writing I was drawing. Even the students I work know that I draw all the time…and my fellow classmates. It’s really hard to draw in public without people hovering over you, and asking a million questions. When I write in public I don’t draw as much attention to myself when I’m out in public.
I’d better eat. I haven’t had any food today. Time to enjoy that tasty ramen that totally has serious health benefits.
In our lives there will always be hopes and fears popping in and out of our heads. Some nights they dance about as I try to shut my eyes and scatter about the room as I toss and turn, trying to settle my mind. When I wake up I’m in a daze before they come rushing back.
I try to wake up feeling excited versus anxious, about the things to come. I try not to think of the ever-growing list of things I need to do for the day and take my time getting ready. Still by the time I realize I’m running behind schedule, these hopes and fears are there waiting by the door. I try to keep them locked up but they must have figured out how to climb through the window.
No matter. I can always stick my headphones in and ignore them. The music will drown them out…although I do like the hopes very much, so I let them dance while I walk to the rhythm of the morning. They’re warm like the sun and brush gently across my skin. They make my heart pound heavily, but the heaviness is nice…it lets me know that I’m still alive and as I get lost in my hopes I pull out my phone and suddenly fear sinks its teeth into me.
Being late, not having things done, forgetting something back at home…all of the little fears that poke and pick at me throughout the day. Sometimes it’s easy to ignore them and other times I can’t. I think about kicking them, or stomping on them…but at the same time being so carefree isn’t always a good thing. Things need to get done. I have places I need to go, people I need to meet, work I need to finish…and the ever-growing list of little fears pushes me to get them done. My heart races when the fears start to slither about. They slip between my ankles, wrap around my throat…they nearly suffocate me…and yet I’m still alive.
My hopes tug at me and my fears start to pull back. Both clawing at my arms and legs and face. I can’t seem to decide which way to go, so I sit in the grey…and I wait. I procrastinate. I pretend everything is nothing, and that nothing is everything. It’s a numb place to be, and very boring…there’s no music or colour. There are no hopes and no fears…so I let them back in and let the battle begin, until night-time comes again and I begin to dream.
I’m twenty-two today. Seems a bit weird….
This year has definitely been an adventure. I’ve tried new things, had some good days, some bad and I’m getting ready to graduate.
My family treated me to dinner the other night which was really fun. I was getting a bit home sick honestly, and just getting to spend time with my family was nice. I finally get to head home for Easter.
Being twenty-one was fun…but I’m home twenty-two will be less stressful. I’d definitely say that the start of your twenties is pretty rocky but that’s usually how transitions are. I’m definitely trying to take my time growing up. I’m not in any rush to be a full fledged “adult” yet…but I know I’m not a kid anymore. I’m going to try and enjoy whatever comes my way this year.
I submitted a story about my Dad today, and actually started to cry while I was writing it. My Dad is honestly one of the most amazing people I know. I really look up to him. He’s always got my back. I know that I’m lucky to have him.
Despite how late it is I’m currently itching to write. I haven’t had a chance to work on my own projects for such a long time (or a least it feels that way). Perhaps I can do a bit of writing now…or at least read over where I last stopped off.
I don’t want to be up too late. I have stuff that I need to get done tomorrow…homework, laundry…dishes…and whatever else.
Honestly I wish I could just take a day off…but once I’m done being busy I’ll probably complain that there’s nothing to do.
Lately school has been so busy, that I haven’t had time to work on any of my own projects. It’s a bummer but at least the year is wrapping up. I’d like to say that I have a book update but I don’t have anything new to report right now. I would like to start looking at cover artists and such, but for now I need to focus on finishing up the school year.
Hopefully my next post will have something interesting to report.
I don’t know what else to call it. I’m just a student, but I’d say this feels a lot like leaving your new baby in the care of someone else for the first time.
It’s not the first time I’ve let other read my work and give me feedback, but it is the first time in a very, very long time. I’m anxiously waiting to know what they think…and praying that they like it.
It’s hard to share your writing with people, and it doesn’t get easier over time. Some times you become more comfortable with the person you’re sharing your work with, but even then it can be terrifying.
When I handed over my manuscript I wanted to vomit. I suppose the timing is a bit weird since I’m also pretty stressed out because of school still but whatever. Life is full of transitions and trials. It’s one thing after another.
While you’re waiting for your feedback it can be helpful to occupy yourself with another project. Keep writing!